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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's way early for this, but what the heck. I thought I'd ask what you all think about kids at birth. I think my feelings about it are different than many AP types, and I'm curious to discuss it.<br><br>
My son is really sensitive, so I feel like I should have seen it coming, but I do regret his presence at my 2nd son's birth. It was traumatic for him, even though it was a very normal birth. But birth is very intense, and at 2, he was still really a baby and didn't understand enough. I'd shown him videos, did the class, etc, but I think it was not nearly enough to convey the reality of his MAMA in pain, making noise, etc.<br><br>
So, my toddler won't be at the birth of this baby, but my big boys will have the option (and will likely opt out, as they did for this one). We want them all to be there just *moments* after birth, but I honestly don't see the benefit of a toddler witnessing birth, considering the possible emotional risks.<br><br>
Also, toddler will be in the house with access to daddy and grammy, but not hanging around while I vocalize and generally do the labor routine. Hoping he'll sleep through the whole thing, actually!<br><br>
So, that's my 2cents <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I'm glad you brought this up. I've had it on my mind and while my husband wants our DD there, I don't. I think she will be too little to understand. I have heard stories of small children being a bit traumatized from the process. I know that our homeopath won't advise it. Thanks for bringing this up! It will definately be something I'll need to discuss with my DH.
 

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I'm in the June Due Date Club, but thought I'd sneak a peak here. I want my DD around for this birth. By the time this baby is born, she'll be 5. I will have a caregiver for her, so that my DD can come & go as she wants. Also so that if I decide I don't want her there, she can leave too!<br><br>
L
 

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My kids are 1 and 2, so I don't think it is appropriate, personally. I think it could understandably freak them out. As they get older (even a year or two) and the process could be better explained and the child could have some say, then yes. Some adults don't want to watch (I think birth is a beautiful thing, but whatever), so why make a young child who doesn't know what they should expect to see.
 

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i totally think it depends on your child.<br><br>
our DD will be a few months shy of 3 when this baby arrives, but i think she will do fine b/c i am a natural childbirth educator and a doula and she has seen mommy's "baby movies" as she calls them numerous times while i've been teaching and she hasn't wanted to leave my lap. she'll point to a laboring, vocalizing, swaying woman on the tv and say "baby? born?" because she understands what's happening in the birth video. my younger sister lives with us and they are very close. her aunt will be her primary care while i'm in labor and i anticipate that we'll allow her to come and go as she pleases during the birth.<br><br>
however- i do acknowledge that this is not necessarily the right course of action for all families and some children will not handle it well. i think if you are going to consider having your young children around while you labor, you do have to prepare them for what they will see by reading books, watching videos and even "acting" like you're in labor from time to time so they aren't scared or traumatized by the experience when it actually happens.<br><br>
just my thoughts<br>
kate
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
As a childbirth educator, you have probably exposed your daughter to LOTS of birth videos <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I think for me, that was the whole point though - we did the videos, role playing, acting out, books... it still rocked his world when it was me. But I totally agree - we each know our own kids best, and I'm sure there are some who can completely do it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>1stTimeMummytoLore</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i totally think it depends on your child.<br><br>
our DD will be a few months shy of 3 when this baby arrives, but i think she will do fine b/c i am a natural childbirth educator and a doula and she has seen mommy's "baby movies" as she calls them numerous times while i've been teaching and she hasn't wanted to leave my lap. she'll point to a laboring, vocalizing, swaying woman on the tv and say "baby? born?" because she understands what's happening in the birth video. my younger sister lives with us and they are very close. her aunt will be her primary care while i'm in labor and i anticipate that we'll allow her to come and go as she pleases during the birth.<br>
kate</div>
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You're a childbirth educator too? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> My daughter will be only 2 when the new baby comes and so I am undecided about having her there. I think it would be better if she were there right after the birth. She loves watching my birth videos as well but doesn't know what going on. She does point and say baby. It doesn't seem to bother her-but a video of a women giving birth and being in the room with your mother giving birth are entirely different experiences!<br><br>
My younger sister will be here for the birth too! She is in high school and spends the summer with us. She attended my first birth when she was 13 and was awesome - such a big help and support. She cried when Cady was born! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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My oldest was 2yrs. and 7 months when my youngest was born. I worked out wonderfully. I didn't plan for him to be at the birth -- my youngest was born in the middle of the night. We all went to the midwife clinic together. I thought my oldest son would sleep through the birth -- instead he keep walking around the clinic looking for the baby - saying "Where is the baby?" It was really cute. My youngest was born after just 28 minutes of arriving at the clinic. Luckily, everything went beautifully.<br><br>
I had a friend lined up to do childcare just in case it was needed -- in case my older son needed to be taken away from the scene.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>babybugmama</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">OT - sorry Amy, But CONGRATULATIONS!!!</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> thanks<br><br>
hey! most of my real life people don't know, ok? :ignore no telling!
 
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