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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Today was the very first day my kindgartener and my second grader rode the bus. (they went to private schools prior to this year.) They really, really wanted to walk to the bus stop by themselves, but I'm not quite comfortable with this... at least, not yet.<br><br>
So, when we got there, I let them out of the car and backed away quite a bit so they could feel more independent. There were several other elementary kids there. One boy and girl - the boy seemed two or three years older than the girl - were playfighting. He kept knocking her on her head, she'd swat at him, he'd shove her, on and on and on. Then it looked like something - flash cards, perhaps - went flying out of her backpack into the street.<br><br>
So then my five yo, who was sitting behind his sister who's seven, starts putting grass in her hair. Shoving her repeatedly. Etc. Then the two of THEM start up.<br><br>
How normal is this kind of thing, when no grown ups are around? I don't want to "embarrass" my almost eight year old dd by telling the other children how to behave appropriately, but at the same time, my five yo. immediately starting acting out, perhaps to "fit in" with what the other kids were doing.<br><br>
What would you do? Something? Nothing, other than talk to my kids about it and hope the other kids don't affect them and start treating them like that?
 

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I would talk to my kids about what are values are and what is right and wrong. My children know that our rules don't change even if people, places, and things do meaning that if our rule is no hitting, not even in play, then no matter where you are or who you are with that rule still applies and must be followed. I think this is a good time to teach your children about peer pressure and not to do something to try to "fit in" when it is clearly against the rules.<br><br>
I would not tell the other children how to behave because you stated that they were playfighting and to me that means that they were not doing anything that was not appropriate.<br><br>
Hope you all have a happy school year
 

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Kids around me did that a lot as a kid, mostly boys but some girls. I never got into it I thought it was dumb and was a little scared to get hurt.
 

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I wouldn't mind "embarrassing" your kid, I'd have walked right up and said something to all of them. Then again, I'm known as "that mom" by the neighborhood kids around here. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> You now what though? They all respect me and listen to me when I have something to say. Kids need to learn to treat each other with respect. A little teasing, okay, but what you are describing sounds like it went beyond the point of just playing around.
 

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make sure no child will go running into the street after an item or get pushed into the street. The schools are reallyl strict on safety so if there are any safety risks I would be very careful. Most bus stops at my area have parents that stay til the bus comes, so maybe just let your chidren know that you will be there til the bus arrives.
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">Was the play consensual?</div>
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Mine are allowed to roughhouse if both consent ... subject to rules like no hair pulling, face grabbing, throwing rocks or sand, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I couldn't tell if it was totally consensual because I was viewing from my car at a distance. It seemed like they were doing it to each other, but it appeared that the boy was kind of picking on the girl.... as brothers do, I suppose.<br><br>
I did review all the rules last night with my kids. Explained to DD, who will be 8 in Dec., that her brother's only five and that it's important to talk with him and make him feel safe and comfortable instead of ignoring him for her friends. And explained to DS that he needs an alternative way to express to his sister that he needs a bit of conversation, attention, etc. So they decided a gentle tap on the shoulder or an "Excuse me, K" would be the cue that ds needed his sister's support and that K needed to acknowledge her brother appropriately.<br><br>
Whew!
 

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I don't let my 6 yo act "foolish" at the bus stop, but he's allowed to play tag, run around with the other kids, etc. as long as he's paying attention and ready for his bus when it arrives. If the rough kind of play is mutually agreed upon and it's not hurting anyone, I let it slide. If he can't control himself, he loses his privilege and is "demoted" to sitting on the bus stop bench for a few mornings.
 

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I think I would probably hang out at the bus stop for several weeks, until the rest of the kids 'get it'. Just being a prescence is enough to deter them. Perhaps engage or model some games to beat the boredom. Our kids play a ducking game with their shadows and passing cars - they duck when a car comes so it doesn't drive over their shadow. Perhaps some sidewalk chalk to play hopscotch, or jacks?
 
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