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I met a mom friend I liked a couple of years ago when we both had two kids about the same ages. Since then we have each had a third. We have gotten together a bunch of times and our dhs get along great, our older children get along great and my middle son and her older son get along fine.<br><br>
The thing is - our three year olds don't really seem to like each other. Neither of us takes it personally and the kids don't FIGHT or anything, but it is obvious they don't enjoy each other much...always needing us to help them play, little passive aggressive things, crying over things that wouldn't normally bring either of them to tears, etc. She and I have joked about it and complimented each other on the fact that neither of us is taking it personally (I REALLY like her and think her 3 year old seems super sweet) but I am starting to privately wonder if it is weird to continue to have playdates. Both of our kids play really well and easily with other kids. This morning my ds flat out said he wished we weren't playing together if her older brother wasn't going to be there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> Then he was sullen throughout the entire playdate <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: We were once eating dinner at their house and her dd was having a hardtime and my friend pointed out that when you get together two families each with 5 people, the odds of everyone adults & children all being a great fit are slim and that part of life is sometimes making do in social settings. (to repeat neither of the kids is unkind to each other, it is more of a lethargic disinterest) It makes it all the more frustrating that our dhs seem to enjoy each other's company so much since it often feels strange to dh to hang out with the spouse of one of my mommy friends...<br><br>
Has anybody been in this situation? What did you do? Did it just eventually pass?<br><br>
BJ<br>
Barney, Ben & Patrick
 

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I think it's rare to find a friend with whom your spouses click, let alone some of the kids! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Maybe you should just focus on getting together with your friend, or as a family, and not on "playdates." So, tell your 3 yo that YOU want to see your friend, and she will be bringing her child. The kids should treat each other with respect, but they don't have to be buds. Heck, the kids don't even have to play in the same room. If you let them have space, so they know they don't "have" to be friends or play together, they may end up more friendly when they get older. Or not. But don't let that hinder your friendship.<br><br>
I went over to a new friend's house whose children are around the same ages as my boys. The oldest boy wanted to play a certain way with ds1, but he was more interested in pulling his baby sister around in a wagon. After a while, though, the two boys found some common interest while we stayed out of things.
 

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This happened to me with a friend, with our older kids. they played fine when they were little and then when they turned, oh, 2 ish, they started clashing. We had to just put the friendship on hold, emailing and phoning, for a couple of year 'til the kids got older (when they started getting along pretty well).<br><br>
So, it happens. Hang in there, and try other options. chances are the kids may get along better once they're a bit older.
 
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