[Sage_SS]

Now, I think I may have seen a thread line this somewhere, I can't remember where tho, so I'll start another here!

My three and a half year old daughter has a cold, she was up all night coughing and she's all congested.

: Everytime we try to give her some cough and cold medicine, its all we can do to keep her from gagging! She's so sensitive to the taste its a battle just to get her to take it!

So in the van on the way home (yes, we drive a mini van!) she tells me that her throat is kinda sore. So I tell her that when we get home I'll give her some medicine and that will help her sleep and get better faster.

She thinks about this for a second and says to me "Mom, if you put that medicine in my mouth, my teeth will throw it out!"

LOL.. I almost drove off the road I was laughing so hard I couldn't see through the tears! She was so serious too!

I have tons of these, I'll keep adding more but for now its adult time! *giggle*
And by that, of course, I mean I get to read uninterrupted!

 

[Sage_SS]

My 8 year old asked me something this morning about translating a french word to english so I told her. She told me that no, that was wrong. I told her I took french in high school and that IS the right answer. So she looked it up in her book, and I was wrong. lol.. I love it when that happens!

So she looks at me as if I'd just tried to sabotage her day and says " Jeex mom, even my TEACHER knows more than you do!!!"

thank god eh?

 

[Sage_SS]

My four year old daughter and I were at the mall on Saturday and it was PACKED.

She says to me "mama, can we have some ice cream please?"

I reply "sure honey, but not here, its way too busy here"

She said "ok mama... when can we have some then?"

I said "Not here baby, elsewhere. We have lots of places to go"

She said " Have you been there before mama? Are you sure they have ice cream elsewhere?"

LMAO

 

[Cujobunny]

My almost 3 yr old ds said to me one day "I want a bar."

I said "A bar? what do you mean?"

His answer: "You know, it's a snack and it goes down your esophagus and into your stomach?" (!!!)

we had read a book about the human body a few days before and apparently that bit stuck with him!

 

[woobysma]

This morning, DS2 (3) got out of our bed, ran down the hall to his bedroom, and came back yelling "I found my ROOM! I found my ROOM!"

OKaaaaaay, honey, good for you

(turns out DP had found him in the kitchen really early this morning, yelling for his brother because he'd gotten up to go to the bathroom and then got lost in the dark)

I don't know what's funnier: that he "got lost" 2 feet from his bedroom with the night-light on or that he was so excited to have actually FOUND HIS ROOM the next morning

He's a funny little guy.

 

[angela&avery]

my dd (4) still calls pretzels "prentsils" which kills me, she mixes beginnings and endings of words up frequently and its soo cute..

My ds(6) told dd a few weeks ago that we couldn't watch The Family Guy (my husband has the boxed set) bc its not appropriate" I didnt realize how often I say that.

Ds also is on a restrictive diet bc of focusing stuff, and we went to the health food store (we get what we can at the regular grocery bc its cheaper) and he was like, hey we get those, we get those.. hey we have those!!! Mom all that stuff is healthy!" i was like, yeah i know..

 

[BunnySlippers]

I have this particularily grumpy cat, and one morning she was grumpier than usual. I told her to stop being so evil and dd immediately pipes up from the other room "You should have named her Mua-ha-ha" (as in the evil laugh),

Yesterday she was helping someone out by getting them some
"band-aidagesedes"

She calls Tim Hortons 'Tim Portons' (Timmies is a popular coffee shop in Canada)

It think it is as much the serious delivery of these anecedotes that makes them so funny. Dd can have me breathless with laughter just by being 'real'.

 

[peachweenie]

I love all of these! Thanks!

My 5-year old was mixing crayon shavings, juice, water, sunflower seeds and ice cream together. He wanted to go outside and "plant" the concoction in the ground.
I asked him what he thought would grow. "A pirate ship!" he grinned.

What an imagination!

 

[One_Girl]

My daughter asked her Grandpa why he has a beard and he said to save food in for later so she tried to save things in her pretend beard by smashing food on her face and I explained to her that her Grandpa was only kidding. The next time we went to see him he had some food in his beard and she said "Oh, I see you really do save food in your beard Grandpa."

 

[quest4mom]

I came across this video contest the other day that goes with this topic. It is kind of a kid's say the darndest things kind of contest. The example video is pretty cute so I plan on checking back once they get some videos entered.

http://memelabs.com/gardenstate/

 

[timneh_mom]

My 3 year old DS said one day "Boys smell like poop!" And when I asked him how girls smell, he said "Clean!"

 

[AllisonR]

Quote:

Originally Posted by timneh_mom My 3 year old DS said one day "Boys smell like poop!" And when I asked him how girls smell, he said "Clean!"

I thought girls were sugar and spice and everything nice, while boys were rotten and made of cotten?

3.5 yo DS told his little sister she should not come near the stairs because she would "crack her head just like the egg." Wow, I didn't know little kids could do analogies.

 

[SeekingSerenity]

Yesterday, 2.5-y.o. DD saw a piece of tape that was peeling off of a box, so she went and tried to stick it back down. When that didn't work, she went and dug a toy hammer out the toybox and started smacking it. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "I got a haminer. I gonna fix dis d*mn box!"

What are ya gonna do?? I was laughing too hard to reprimand her.

Almost as good was when DS was rubbing my tummy a couple of weeks ago, and DD came up with a scowl on her face. "NO, Bubba!" she holllered. "Dat's MY mommy! No touch her belly!"

DS calmly said, "It's okay, I'm giving the baby a hug. There's a baby in there!" DD demanded to see it, and I told her she couldn't see the baby, because the baby is inside my tummy.

After a brief pause, she cocked her head to one side and asked, "Why you eat dat baby, Mama?? You no should eat the baby!"

This child is just full of 'em, I tell ya.

 

[Cujobunny]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BunnySlippers She calls Tim Hortons 'Tim Portons' (Timmies is a popular coffee shop in Canada)

Tim Portons! So does my ds

One day he was playing in his kitchen and brought me out a "medium double double and some chocolate covered bricks"

He also calls Union Station (our main train/subway station here) Minion Station

 

[P-chan]

My 2.5-year-old wrapped herself up in a piece of gold sparkly material and proudly announced, "I am a principal!"

 

[timneh_mom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity Yesterday, 2.5-y.o. DD saw a piece of tape that was peeling off of a box, so she went and tried to stick it back down. When that didn't work, she went and dug a toy hammer out the toybox and started smacking it. I asked her what she was doing, and she said, "I got a haminer. I gonna fix dis d*mn box!" What are ya gonna do?? I was laughing too hard to reprimand her. Almost as good was when DS was rubbing my tummy a couple of weeks ago, and DD came up with a scowl on her face. "NO, Bubba!" she holllered. "Dat's MY mommy! No touch her belly!" DS calmly said, "It's okay, I'm giving the baby a hug. There's a baby in there!" DD demanded to see it, and I told her she couldn't see the baby, because the baby is inside my tummy. After a brief pause, she cocked her head to one side and asked, "Why you eat dat baby, Mama?? You no should eat the baby!" This child is just full of 'em, I tell ya.

One time I was telling DS that he was in my tummy when he was a little baby... and he asked me something about eating him too! LOL

 

[BunnySlippers]

I like when dd calls people humans. She usually does that when she can't distiguish gender, so she just says 'that human over there'

 

[Hippie Mama in MI]

To start our DS on the road toward potty training (he's 18mo), we encourage him to tell us when he goes in his diaper. We ask, "Did you poop?" And he says yes or no.

We regretted this approach last Thanksgiving, when we were gathered around the table preparing to eat. We were all saying what we were thankful for, and when Grandma asked DS what HE was thankful for, he shouted: "I POOP!"

 

[heidirk]

Ds was in our bed on a snow day morning, and quite surprised to find daddy still there. He poked his little head up for air(he'd been nursing) and said " dadda! Dadda nuuuh!" I said hen, lay down and nurse, I'm not ready to get up yet. He climbed over on top of his dad and repeated "Dadda NUUUH!"

he meant 'nurse on Dad!' teeheehee.
He was joking and laughed, quite pleased with himself.

 

[quest4mom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BunnySlippers I like when dd calls people humans. She usually does that when she can't distiguish gender, so she just says 'that human over there'

Awesome. That reminds me of those aliens on the Simpsons Halloween specials.

Are you sure she is human?