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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, I am the proud momma of a gorgeous 7 week old son named Evan who is the light of my life.<br><br>
Before he was born, I was reading different parenting books and such but had not really come across much about AP, and had no idea about alot of this stuff. I had some pretty strict ideas about how my husband and I were going to parent. I was NOT going to cosleep under any circumstances, I was probably going to do some sort of sleep training...and other different crazy ideas I had before I had my son. All I knew for absolute certain was taht I was going to breastfeed for no less than a year. People said "Oh get some bottles/formula 'just in case'" and I would say there is no just in case about it, I'm GOING to breastfeed.<br><br>
Well, Evan's birth day came and after he was born, he was having trouble latching on and I was SO out of it (had an epi and was induced so I was a zombie after) and didn't even really realize that the nurse had told my husband "Oh just give him this bottle of formula and make sure he drinks about an ounce, it wont hurt her breastfeeding".<br><br>
Well, long story short - it did hurt my breastfeeding. So did the fact that in the hospital I had no support, the nurses who were FANTASTIC were also terribly overworked and I hated to call them in just to make sure I was latching right. I thought we had the hang of it but the second night we were in hospital, Evan nursed for nearly 5 hrs STEADY. I was zonked and frustrated and worried that he for some reason wasn't getting enough and was still hungry. I had a feeling in the back of my mind that since he got that nice full feeling from the formula just mins after he was born, maybe now my colostrum wasn't doing it for him. The nurse finally came in after the fifth hour and said if I wanted ot supp with formula it wouldn't do anything to my breastfeeding, but it would allow me some rest and a break from nursing. So I did. I trusted the nurses, and was just so exhausted.<br><br>
We come home, and two days later my nipples were not only sore and cracked but they were literally flowing blood after Evan would pull off the breast. He wasn't staying latched on, was fussing at the breast, and was nursing NON STOP. I live in a rural town where the nearest help would have had to come out from an hrs drive away, and it would have been a Public Health Nurse who, as we now know, has no problems suggesting formula. Anyway, I was crying for two days straight, I had some issues with my episiotomy and how it was healing (an episi that I didn't really want may I say for the record), and was just plain exhausted. So I buckled. We started formula feeding, and I was crushed and gave up breastfeeding. We don't have a LLL here in Sudbury, and it's very hard to get a hold of a nurse to help, and all they can do is over-the-phone help which doesn't cut it when you're not getting baby to latch properly.<br><br>
It's been 6 weeks since we made that decision, and Evan is thriving and happy and doing well, but me? I'm still devastated. It honestly breaks my heart when I hear him crying from hunger while waiting for his bottle to warm up. I think to myself EVERY time I am warming hisbottle, had I had the support and stuff back then, he'd already be feeding.<br><br>
Also, now since having him - my crazy ideas have changed. I discovered Mothering magazine and just found I really thought hte ideas and parenting styles in there really fell into line with what felt NATURAL to me as a new mom. Evan sleeps in bed with us now - he started in a bassinette beside the bed but he sleeps so much better and much more peacefully in bed with my husband and I. I rarely put him down, and I have NO INTENTION of EVER doing any sleep training. Cuz as I read those techniques, and look down at my son, I know I could never do that to him. I think to myself how horribly lonely it must be for a baby to be crying all alone in their crib, even if only for a few minutes.<br><br>
Anyway, this is really long, and I apologize if you've even made it this far...LOL<br><br>
I guess I just needed to vent, and get off my chest how crappy I feel about not breastfeeding and that it's scary for me to want to take on some aspects of AP because it's just not really done around here. My mom already thinks I'm spoiling Evan if he falls asleep in my arms. Her head would spin if I told her that when he and I are home together, he's almost never NOT in my arms unless I have to do something.<br><br>
I'm on a mission to buy a sling carrier, and a cosleeping bed (sort of like one from The First Years, like a lil spongey bed that goes between the parents, has a lil nightlight on it etc), and I'm going to just do what feels right to us as parents. I'm really glad I found this community, I feel much better about things. Although I really don't come near the breastfeeding boards cuz they don't do much more than make me feel worse about my decision. I know Evan is doing well and he's happy and healthy and that's all that matters to us - but it sure does break my heart at 3 am when he's sobbing cuz he has to wait 5 mins for the bottle to warm.<br><br>
Ok, I'm done. Thanks for letting me vent...and if you've made it this far - a really BIG thanks! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><br>
Nadine<br>
Mommy to Evan...just trying to do the best she can.
 

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The adjustment is difficult for every new mom, but all the more so when you don't have the support you need. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I'm sorry things didn't go as well as you had planned with breast feeding. If you're interested, it might be worth trying to re-lactate. Your little guy has only been on bottles for 6 weeks-- It's quite possible you'd be able to.
 

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Found some resources for you if ou're interested. <a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/adopt/relactation-resources.html#linksrelactation" target="_blank">link</a>
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
What is involved in re-lactating, because my breasts haven't dried up 100% completely yet. I can still expel a little stuff that looks like colostrum. And how would it work with a lil guy who is eating like a piggy on formula? Won't he get upset if he isn't filling up, since it would take a while to get my supply up to his level that he would need...I've never known you COULD relactate...if I had known that, I may have tried it a few weeks ago.<br><br>
I mean, I guess I am okay with the bottle feeding if relactating isn't an option or whatever. I just really needed to air out my feelings about how it felt ot have no support when I really was so excited to breastfeed. Everyone I know in my family or other mommy-friends, none of them have ever breastfed, so they all just say "Oh well, its no big deal if you cant breastfeed".<br><br>
Bah humbug...all I know is that at this moment, Evan is healthy and doing well - I think it's honestly hurting ME the most that I can't breastfeed.
 

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Oh that hospital makes me mad!!! You needed a Lactation Consultant. So did I, but I got one. I know the hosptal can make or break these things and its not fair. BUT...<br><br>
The best part of breastfeeding is the skin-to-skin contact and responsive parenting it requires, IMO. You've got that down. Congratulations. You sound like a wonderful mother. Plus he did get colostrum, which in those first couple days is the best thing for him, medically, and it has boosted his immune system. So you've actually done very well for him.<br><br>
Parenting will be full of disapointments and surprizes and you'll need to be flexible. You'll also need AP support - people that know you can't "spoil" a 2 month old. Check "finding your tribe" forum for local MDC moms.<br><br>
Evan's a lucky guy. Hold him - trust me, he'll behave so much better as a toddler if you do!<br><br>
I swore I wouldn't be sleeping with my baby too!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Silly! She's almost 2 now and wants to move out of my bed already... just when I finally come to terms w/ the whole co-sleeping idea.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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i agree with sunnysideup. I have read threads where these mamas have done this (((where are you)))? It can be diffucult but it is possible. otoh,<br>
I am so sorry you didn't have support. sometimes I think people who advocate formula so easily is because it makes them feel better because thats what they did. Like my/our breasfeeding is a dis to them formula feeding<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"> nuts,I know but its how I feel sometimes. I was very lucky that my husband gave full support to my bf'd our first and we had a friend who was doing it too and had just had her baby a year before mine and was doing ebf. So I had that exposure and it helped tremendously. But without that I could see where it would be very diffucult when everyone around you is saying "oh just give him formula"<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It can be very diffucult living somewhere where there is no support. Maybe start a ap/nfl playgroup in your area I am sure there has got to be some like minded mamas somehwhere near you,check to see if your libaray will let you have the playgroup there if you don't feel comfortable having strangers in your house<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> -anyway you'd be surprised how many ap mamas there are and where they are!! Idea:Hang flyers up at the library and the supermarket.<br>
good luck mama and come back often!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for that link!<br>
I'm going to look into it, and talk to my husband about it - I think now, I've gotten lazy as a mother and sort of enjoy that he can feed the baby not to mention that my mom or aunt can take the baby for visits for more than a couple of hours - which was a huge help when I was sick last week.<br><br>
But BFing was so important to me, that it's at least worth looking into as an option again.<br><br>
Thanks again SO MUCH for that link!
 

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Hugs Mamma <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><br>
Your story is all too common unfortunately.<br>
About the re-lactation.....most any woman can do it, even an adoptive mother. It does take alot of time a dedication. I truly feel that doing this would make a world of a difference in how you feel towards your hospital experience. You really need to build up your support network, preferrably IRL but online support or telephone will help as well. Go to La Leche Leagues website and find a Leader near you ( you were saying that you are far from a local group.....there still may be a Leader that lives near you, its worth checking in to.....)<br>
Best of Luck on your journey.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>EvansMomma</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What is involved in re-lactating, because my breasts haven't dried up 100% completely yet. I can still expel a little stuff that looks like colostrum.</div>
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From what I understand, it's easier for moms to relactate if they haven't dried up completely. Technically, I guess it's just about building your supply back up. That's best done by pumping with a high quality pump and putting baby to breast as much as possible.<br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">And how would it work with a lil guy who is eating like a piggy on formula? Won't he get upset if he isn't filling up, since it would take a while to get my supply up to his level that he would need</td>
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Lots of moms use a <a href="http://www.medela.com/NewFiles/specialtyfdg.html#sns" target="_blank">supplimental nursing system</a>-- so the baby gets some formula while he's nursing at the breast.<br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I guess I am okay with the bottle feeding if relactating isn't an option or whatever.</td>
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I'm sure it is an option for you. I think it would be hard at first, working to get your supply back up. But worth it once you get nursing established again. I second trying to find out if there is a LLL leader near you. Some real life support and encouragement would be so helpful.
 
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