[G-love]

This is sort of school related, sort of age related...
My son goes to a private school about 20 minutes drive from our house. Many of his friends live right near school. I think they have lots of informal/ last minute playdates, but I am having trouble setting up playdates with the moms there--not sure why (starting to think they hate me...).
While he would love to play with his friends after school, I think it's mostly me that wants him to have more 6 year old time (and less teasing his 2 year old sister for a couple hours before dinner time!). I don't know any kids his age in our neighborhood...
Anyone have a similar situation? I'm trying to decide whether this is an issue (unfriendliness of moms? hassle of dealing with a kid from outside the neighborhood?), or just not a big deal (maybe kindergarten is too early for lots of playdates anyway). I had been trying to convince my husband to move to the neighborhood of the school (it's more vibrant, walkable, and has more children than ours), but now I'm kind of burning out and thinking I should try get him into a neighborhood school down here, just to get to know more kids nearby, even though the academics don't compare to his current school.
This is totally vague, but I'd love any thoughts or BTDT insights!

 

[KYCat]

I don't think that kindergarten (or 1st grade) is too early for playdates, but it was for ds1. He's quite an introvert, so after playing with and just being around kids for a full day of kindergarten, he was done. I'm an extrovert and wanted to be social, but I've turned down many offers because it's just more than he wants. Don't assume the moms don't like you or your child. I worry that others assume that about me.Ds1 just needs his time to hold his car tournaments and play with ds2&3

 

[mamamaris]

If you can afford the private school financially and it really is a better educational opportunity I'd say keep your son there. Is your son asking for these play dates?

I got snubbed by most of the moms in my son's preschool (we joined mid-year and apparently we weren't worth the trouble of getting to know.) There was one mom I connected with and we live about 15 minutes apart. She has 3 month twins so I've offered to take her boys (5y/o twins) to our house after preschool for playtime or to the park and give her a break and my son LOVES having people over so it works out well for all.

I feel for you, it's hard being left out of the group of mommies b/c you feel like your kiddo pays the price. HOpe you get some resolution soon.

 

[lindberg99]

I bet the 20 min drive is a big turn-off for the other moms. I don't think I would want to drive my kindergartener 20 min to someone's house and then go back to pick him up. And I probably wouldn't want another mom to drive him either. Of course, I live in a small town so 20 min seems like a long drive to me!

You'd be halfway to "the big city" in 20 min.

How about asking if one of his friends could stay after school and play on the school playground (or a nearby park) and then you could bring him home? I did that a lot with my son in kindergarten rather than inviting kids over or having him go over to other's houses. Or sometimes the whole class would go to a park after school, maybe you could try and arrange that. Sure, not everyone will come, but there might be some other moms who feel "out of the playdate loop" too and would come to try and meet others.

As for around your neighborhood, my kids usually have luck finding someone to play with if we go to one of the bigger parks in the area.

 

[annethcz]

20 minutes is a long way to drive for a playdate for just one child. But then again, we tend to do whole family playdates.

We homeschool, but if my kids did go to school, I wouldn't be in a hurry to plan additional organized activities after school. For my kids, it would be enough to spend all day (or half a day) at school. Although I would be happy for my children to play with their neighborhood friends after school, I wouldn't be anxious to drive them anywhere for additional socializing opportunities- especially if the child wasn't asking to go.

But that's just me...

 

[zo's ma]

We live 30 minutes from ds' school, it does make it hard for playdates.....I offer do all of the driving and have had some moms meet me half way. Staying near the school is a great idea, we've done that a few times.

For anyone feeling left out or snubbed, IME it takes that whole first year to make good connections.