[Shell_Ell]

...the baby's sex, that is. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Are you finding out? Are you waiting until the birth?<br><br>
We are undecided if we'll be doing an ultrasound at this point. I don't really want to know, but DH does, and he keeps giving me a millions reason we should find out. (He's starting to sway me lol) So give me the reasons you aren't!

 

[mataji4]

of course i want to know! but i don't do u/s. so...there is an acupuncturist in town who is famous for her accuracy in reading pulses to determine the sex of the baby- as not all acupuncturists are good at this. she's been right about all my kids, and every other kid i know whose mom went to her. i have never heard of her being wrong (and it's a small town). but she won't try til at least 5 months, so i've got a while to wait. so i consider myself in the "finding out" group!

 

[saratchka]

Nope, I don't want to know. We do u/s but I will be reminding the tech and the MW not to tell me!<br><br>
We didn't find out with DD and that was great. It was nice to have that piece of information as part of our "meeting". Our decor for the kids' room and all the newborn clothes are gender neutral, so we don't have any shopping issues. DH wants to find out, but only because he doesn't want to have to decide on both boy and girl names. This does not qualify as a good reason in my mind.<br><br>
Somehow I like that mystery up until the very moment I see my baby face to face. It's part of the process of getting to know one another as people.<br><br>
I'm not saying everyone should do it this way, just that it works well for us. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[goodwin]

i want to know.<br><br>
i am too impatient to wait lol.. i just figure it will be a surprise whenever we find out whether now or in 6 months.<br><br>
but my MIL wants us to wait. i told her we could keep it from her if that is what she wanted but she said if we find out then she would want to know.

 

[herbmama3-7]

I want to know so bad, but we don't do ultrasound either, I could request it if I really want to, but my dh is so against it since we didn't find out with ds. I was fine and excited to have it announced at the birth, which is dh's main reason for not wanting to find out, he likes the excitement of finding out at birth. He says we will find out, "eventually"<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: To be honest I want to know for selfish reasons because I really want a girl, and kind of feel like I have to prepare myself if it is a boy. Anyway I guess my answer is I just don't know, were on the fence too<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:

 

[wombatclay]

I want to know! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Not that an u/s is 100% (and we're not doing anything ore invasive than that) and the babe needs to be in a "flasher" mood to get a good view...<br><br>
I found that with my first pregnancy it really helped me connect with dd as a person (and not just "the babe") once I had a pronoun. I didn't think it would make such a big difference, but it did. It also made name selection a lot easier. DH and I had been arguing over a boys name but once we knew it was a girl we had a name we both loved right away.<br><br>
Not that it's a concern for everyone, but some mamas have a really strong preference for one sex over the other and sometimes waiting till the birth means that there is an element of disappointment. One of the mamas in my birth group waited, but when the babe wasn't what she thought it was going to be (she'd been having very strong dreams, and she had a very strong preference) she said she actually cried...and that now she regrets that her memory of that first meeting will always include the fact that her babe "wasn't what she wanted". Obviously she's totally in love with her babe and wouldn't trade for the world, but she still feels guilty about that memory.<br><br>
Of course, u/s can be wrong and you can be expecting one thing and get another no matter what, but it's something to keep in mind if you (or your partner) might need a little time to adjust to a son over a daughter or vice versa.<br><br>
I admire mamas who can wait (a co-worker has 5 kiddos and she waited for all of them), but for me...I wanna know and I wanna know now! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[Robbins0614]

We both want to wait-there was no question of finding out for my husband or myself. And our MW doesn't do ultrasounds, so it won't be an issue. But, Tim was certain that he didn't want to know and that he wanted to wait until the big day to find out. Most of our family is excited that we're not finding out as well. My dad, bless him, said he thought it was much more fun that way.

 

[boheime]

We would never have an U/S unless we felt there was a medical need that outweighed possible risks. So, no, we won't be finding out.<br><br>
Dh and I have a rule at birth - neither he nor I say the gender. We each look and discover that for ourselves before we say anything.

 

[zion]

we found out. i didn't want to know with my last pregnancy. I didn't do a triple screen or anything invasive. I had to have an ultrasound because I couldn't have a homebirth without it and that's when we found out that the baby wasn't going to make it. I asked at that u/s if it was a boy or a girl because the pregnancy was essentially over.<br><br>
With this pregnancy, I don't was any surprises. I was very attached to being surprised at birth with Sadie but everything changed so fast. I want all the information I can get this time as soon as I can get it. So we found out. I have a friend with U/S connections that's how we found out so early. I was 13 week when she was 90% sure he was a boy. Another quick peek yesterday confirmed it!!

 

[jstar]

i will be pretty sad if i am having another boy. the first time i only imagined a girl would be in there and we weren't going to find out. but i saw at the u/s that it was a boy and i was really dissapointed...almost depressed for a few days. but i think it was someone's higher plan for me to find out before the birth so i didn't end up crying with all the postpartum hormones.<br><br>
dh really wants to find out this time. and i'm going with that plan because i would like time to get used to another boy if that is what it is. my layette is mostly all gender neutral because we told everyone we didn't know what we were having so it doesn't really matter planning-wise.<br><br>
so i'm not very helpful on reasons not to.<br><br>
my (former) reasons not to:<br>
-one of the wonderful surprises in life<br>
-a great motivator during labor to get to that end goal and find out what your prize is!<br>
-fun to pick both boy and girl names and imagine the possibilities<br>
-fun to see whose predictions are correct<br>
-keeps family from sending you 20 boxes of baseball outfits/pink ruffles

 

[LandonsMom]

Were not finding out, and I dont think we'll be doing an U/S either.<br><br>
I really felt the need to know with ds, and was glad to know. But it just really doesnt matter to me this time!! I already have all the boy stuff and to get some girl stuff if need be wont be a problem. we already have a decorated nursery that isnt overly boy. Knowing wont change those types of logistics for us, and I just think it would be really cool to wait. The only thing that makes hard for me is the names. With out kowing the sex, I havent even given it a thought, I keep wondering when this will become a priority,....after the baby arrives?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
Knowing was fun, not knowing will be fun too. Just different types of fun!

 

[Parker'smommy]

We won't be finding out before the birth.<br><br>
We didn't find out with ds or dd either. It was fun, even though we had LOTS of people tell us we were "crazy" and my best friend's dh kept insisting that we HAD to know because well, how will we buy what we need and so forth. It just BLEW his mind away...lol. It still seems crazy to him, three kids later, but I told him last week...." I think we'll manage. We did okay with the other two!" Too funny. My mom wants to find out for some reason this time and is trying to talk me into it....but it seems wierd to find out this time, and not with the others.<br><br><br>
But hey, it's a surprise anytime you find out...right??

 

[54mama]

Didn't find out with my daughter and won't this time. In the end I did like finding out at the birth, somehow it was like really meeting her, not meeting the "her" I'd imagined if that makes any sense. We did plan to have my husband announce what it was and I do recall (in the haze of delivery) yelling multiple times, "WHAT IS IT?!!?" and not getting any response. Finally as they were lifting her to my chest (and I realize this must have been no time at all but felt like forever) my husband says "a girl?" I remember thinking "Oh my god, I have a hermaphroditic child!" The doc then confirmed, yes girl, and my husband said, "well... there was a lot of stuff on her and around her at that point and it was all so swollen I wasn't sure!" It was pretty funny.<br><br>
I am practicing thinking about this one as a potential boy. I have all sisters and so already having one girl my brain just defaults to all girls, and for some reason that is what everyone thinks I am having. So I practice saying it's a boy! in my head occationally so it won't be too much of a shock if it is!<br><br>
I also love old wives tales/other means of prediction. I had an acupuncture student (a good friend) feel my pluses last time and he predicted girl, so I think we'll have him do it again just to see what his record is. My favorite test though is the ring on a string over the belly. That said girl last time too and I could do that one once a week I think it is so cool.

 

[roadfamily6now]

as far are finding out the sex, I prefer to wait. We waited with our first 3 and it was great. We decided to find out with our 4th and while it was fun knowing, it was so much better with the huge suprize at the end.<br><br>
I have no advise about doing a U/S, I think if you only have 1 there is a slim slim chance of anything happening from the u/s. I have always had my 1 u/s at 20 weeks. I think getting to see baby is well worth it!

 

[sebarnes]

We won't find out. Although we did last time, we have decided that unless it is medically indicated, we won't be having any ultrasounds. And I don't think needing to know the sex is a medical need<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> .

 

[sally Z]

not finding out, not planning any scans so guess baby can keep their seceret safe until birth. It is the best surprise in the world after all that hard work, would not ruin it for the world

 

[mamallama]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>54mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6660426"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Didn't find out with my daughter and won't this time. In the end I did like finding out at the birth, somehow it was like really meeting her, not meeting the "her" I'd imagined if that makes any sense.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I have read that moms who wait to find out report more satisfaction with their babies & a reduced sense of "baby blues." The theory is that if you know the sex, you imagine more specifically what your child will be like. With a specific idea in mind, it's less likely that your individual baby will match up exactly.<br><br>
Moms who don't find out tend to imagine their babies in a more general sense, so there is less room for disappointment.<br><br>
I wish I could cite the article, but it's been a while and I have no idea where it came from.<br><br>
We won't be finding out. Not based on some phantom study--but because we didn't find out with our second child, and while it was sometimes hard not knowing when everyone else knew about theirs (& expected me to know about mine,) in the end I loved the discovery.

 

[hannahnc]

We'll be finding out! I don't think I could wait!

 

[workinmama]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mamallama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/6663415"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have read that moms who wait to find out report more satisfaction with their babies & a reduced sense of "baby blues." The theory is that if you know the sex, you imagine more specifically what your child will be like. With a specific idea in mind, it's less likely that your individual baby will match up exactly.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
That's a very interesting statistic Mamallama. I never thought of it that way. I guess I have some thinking to do.

 

[irises]

We are not going to find out before the birth. I want the surprise, and I think that it will help get through the end of labor to know that I have that surprise waiting. I also want to get gender neutral gifts as much as possible from friends and family since I hope to reuse for future babies.