[newlife]

Okay, I want to labor at home. The last time I went to the hospital a few days ago for a NST, I was talking to some women in the family waiting room. Two of the women said that the labored at home, and went to the hospital when they thought they were ready. One of the women's daughters was in labor at the time. It was her first baby and they had been in the hospital since 2am that morning (it was around 3 pm at the time). So anyway the laboring woman's mother said that she thought labor goes faster when you are at home, because you are more relaxed. This makes sense to me.

So now I want to labor at home. And I hink it should be okay, because I am not getting any drugs anyway. But the thing is, how do I know when I am actually ready to push or close to it at least? And if it could possible take me an hour to get to the hospital would it be a good idea? And last I wanted to get to the hospital by myself, because I want to be settled in before anyone else gets there, so laboring at home wouldn't have been a good idea. But I have found a medical transportation service, that has a reasonable price, as long as it is not a "medical emergency". And since the ambulance service says that giving birth is not a medical emergency, I guess it will be okay. But, is it a good idea, that is my basic question.

Feel free to add any info about how long your first labor was.

 

[Quirky]

It is a very good idea to labor at home for as long as possible. It is definitely better to labor in your home environment where you are comfortable....women need privacy and security to labor well (same as having sex or going to the bathroom...it's hard to get comfortable and perform in front of a bunch of strangers! :LOL)

It's also much safer to labor at home. If you go to the hospital when you first start labor, if you're not very far along they may a) send you home, or b) keep you and start the interventions like a pitocin drip, rupturing your membranes, etc. to get things moving along on their schedule. The more interventions you agree to the more you are likely to end up with a c-section, an instrument delivery, an episiotomy....none of which you want!

Do you have a partner or a friend who can drive you to the hospital so you don't have to rely on the medical transportation service? That would be the best way to go (and much cheaper if insurance decides not to cover it).

 

[newlife]

Well, I do have lots of people to drive me to the hospital. I just want to get there and be settled in before anyone gets there. My fiance has been looking at me , and trying to figure out when I am in labor, because he wants to take me. But that is not going to happen. I just want to be as comfortable as possible in the hospital, before any family gets there to make noise takes pictures, and otherwise bother me. Believe me if you knew my family and how excited they are you would understand. Just for an example my fiance's mother and his mother have brought a new mini-van just to ride around with my son in. They have already taken it too far. But the transportation service isn't that much, I just figured that I would pay out of pocket anyway.

I am still really scared that I won't make it to the hospital, simply because this is my first child, and I think that I won't really know when I have to get up and leave. But just in case, I just ordered a home birth kit, and a book telling me what to do should I stay at home for too long.

 

[pamamidwife]

 

[mehndi mama]

I was just going to say - keep a few supplies at hand, and get the book Emergency Childbirth, just in case. It's good to know what's going on, alone or not. But it sounds like you're already on top of that.
Does your hospital birthing facilities have the big whirlpool tubs for you to use? That's how my friend & I both gauged when it was time for us to go when we had our last hospital births - when we were feeling like it was time to hit the water, it was time to get to the hospital. That *should* give you plenty of time to get there.

 

[newlife]

Well, I haven't taken a tour of the hospital yet ( I have just gone for tests), but I will in January, my first childbirth class is on the 7th, and that will be when we take the tour. What I do know is that labor and delivery are in the same room, and it is supposed to make you feel like your are home, instead of in a hospital. As for the whirlpool I don't know, but I am hoping for one. I was just watching Birth Day, a few days ago and while a woman was in labor she got into the whirlpool, and said that it felt so much better being in the water.

I have a feeling that he will come on a week day. I don't know why just a feeling. If so hopefully I'll labor all night long and be ready to go in, in the very early morning hours, like 2 or 3. I know that if I go before 6am in the morning, or before 2 pm in the afternoon, I can get there in 15 minutes. But rush hour traffic with have me sitting on the interstate for a long while. And that really won't be good while I'm in labor, because I seem to always get upset while in traffic. But we'll see how it goes.

 

[paquerette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by newlife My fiance has been looking at me , and trying to figure out when I am in labor, because he wants to take me. But that is not going to happen.

Aw. Your fiance should be more supportive of your needs! Is he going to be able to support/coach thru the birth, or is he going to be too preoccupied with entertaining company and taking pictures and being excited? You need someone on your side! Isn't there any way he can drive you in without alerting the masses?

And remember, you DON'T have to let all those people in your room! If you're not comfortable being stared at and fussed over, send them away. It could seriously jeopardise your ability to labor and birth safely.

Have you considered getting a doula?

 

[newlife]

Thanks for the support. He will be there while I am giving birth of course. But as for being able to support me and coach me, LOL, that is a really big laugh. He'll be too busy falling out. He can't even watch a woman on television giving birth, and he doesn't even see anything that you could call graphic. We were on out way home from copelands a few weeks ago, and I was talking about my perineal exercises so that I don't tear. He asked me why would I tear. So I told him to imagine our child's head (his has a big round head, and I have really fat cheeks) coming out of my vagina. He then pulled the car over, got out, ran to the bushes, and threw up. So I think I'll be the one supporting him, when I am giving birth. But his mom and my mom will be coaching me.

So it wouldn't be a problem for him to take me to the hospital, but he is suach a mama's boy ( as they all should be), that I know he will sneak and call her. Then we get to the rest of his family, and they are another story. My mom, won't be too bad, but she will probably make me a little scared, when she is trying to calm me down. She sometimes has that affect, but she's mom and I love her, so I need her there.

I know that I can keep people out, but I would hate to have to look them in the face again, i really hate to hurt people's feelings. At times it may not seem like it, but it really makes me feel bad.

I am so lost.

Quote:

Originally Posted by paquerette Aw. Your fiance should be more supportive of your needs! Is he going to be able to support/coach thru the birth, or is he going to be too preoccupied with entertaining company and taking pictures and being excited? You need someone on your side! Isn't there any way he can drive you in without alerting the masses? And remember, you DON'T have to let all those people in your room! If you're not comfortable being stared at and fussed over, send them away. It could seriously jeopardise your ability to labor and birth safely. Have you considered getting a doula?

 

[slightly crunchy]

After my first birth, I personally wouldn't worry about the hospital being too far away.

Chances are, even laboring at home, you may still go too early rather than too late. I know with my first I was having constant surges and vomiting and thought I was in transition (I also was an hour away from the hospital and my poor DH was worried I was going to have the baby in the car)--I went to get checked and was only 4 cm. :LOL So went home again.

I second the idea of a doula who will come to your home if you are wanting to do this. (Or someone who has BTDT and will be able to help you decide when to go in).

 

[newlife]

When you get to the hospital, how many cm's do you have to be at for them to keep you? I have heard a lot of three's and four's, and even some two's. I think I would be too afraid to go back home, so I guess I should wait as long as possible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by slightly crunchy After my first birth, I personally wouldn't worry about the hospital being too far away. Chances are, even laboring at home, you may still go too early rather than too late. I know with my first I was having constant surges and vomiting and thought I was in transition (I also was an hour away from the hospital and my poor DH was worried I was going to have the baby in the car)--I went to get checked and was only 4 cm. :LOL So went home again. I second the idea of a doula who will come to your home if you are wanting to do this. (Or someone who has BTDT and will be able to help you decide when to go in).

 

[natashaccat]

I would second the doula suggestion just because it sounds like you need someone to do crowd control. If I lived an hour away I would get a hotel room near the hospital at the onset of labor. The later stages of labor can be very messy, vomiting, diarea, amniotic fluids, not something I would want to deal with in a van full of strangers.

However, getting to the hospital too early is bad news because onece you get there you are on the clock and loose much control of the situation, you may not be allowed to eat, you may not have acess to a tub, you may be asked to stay in bed for fetal monitoring, and little things like those yucky hospital gowns can mentally inhibit you and make you feel less empowered.

 

[HelloKitty]

I plan on staying at home for as long as I feel comfortable and trying to get as much labor at home out of the way as possible. I know DH will probably be freaking out and wanting to get me there sooner but he's going to have to deal! :LOL

Your OB will likely give you some timing - like to call when the contractions are 5 minutes apart or something - when you call him s/he will probably tell you "you can come in now or wait until they are such and such apart".

It's sometimes hard to tell when you have gone from early labor to transition as it's really gradual - but I know that when I'm in transitional labor I have a really hard time focusing on things even between contractions - that's how I can usually tell. The contractions not only come more often but last longer.

 

[Jaimep]

We are only about 20-30 mins from the hospital and that is considering traffic. So i feel really comfortable laboring at home. I know from EXPERIENCE with my last DD that I was doing much better at home than at the hospital.

We went to the hospital and I was only 1 cm. That was at 5;15pm, so we went home and at 7:30 I thought lets go back, cause they were getting stronger. I could still handle it, I was just worried about the drive. Well at 8 pm I was 3. SO moving along nicely. I stayed at 3 until 11pm. So laying in the bed and such was torture. I was doing great at home. I would lean on the bed, or get down on hands and knees, it really let my belly hang down and take the pressure off my back.
So to quote my mother " I am staying home till I see the whites of this kids eyes." LOL

: Well ok, maybe not that long, but I want to stay home for a long time this time around.

 

[Orange]

We live an hour away from our birth center and I labored at home for several hours (3am - 2pm). Even though I didn't have to worry about unnecessary interventions at the birth center, it was so so nice being able to remain comfortable on my own bed/couch, nap between contractions during the early part of labor, eat food from my own house, use my own bathroom and watch a movie. It was all quite relaxing (until my water broke, LOL).

After my water broke, my contractions started coming one on top of the other so we figured we had better get going. The car ride was extremely uncomfortable but otherwise I'm glad we waited. I was on the cusp of transition when we got there and had DD 2 hours after we got to the birth center.

If you're not excited about having your fiance there or if you think he's not going to be much help, I'd ditto the doula recommendation. A doula would also be able to drive you to the hospital and help keep people out of your room. A doula or the nurses on staff could also take the "heat" of saying no one can be in the room. Your family/friends/whatever don't need to know that YOU are the one that doesn't want them in there