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I was wondering if anyone feels lonely at times SAH? I love being with my kids, but I feel that my friends from my old job have forgotten me. Does anyone feel the same way?
 

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I definitely do. I go through my week not seeing/speaking to anyone, then the weekend comes and everyone wants to "go out".<br><br>
I miss my friends! I wish there were more of a support system for SAHM's in my area, but no luck. Most of the SAHM's in my area are wives of well-to-do lawyers, doctors, businessmen...modern day "ladies who lunch". Not anyone I'd have much in common with.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I do. All the SAHM's are so cliquish and I don't fit into any of the groups. I have nothing in common with anyone and I just feel so lonesome. I have nothing in common with my former work friends anymore. It can be very hard.
 

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We moved to a small town the beginning of Sept when DD was 4 mths. I am very lonely but DH works afternoon shift so there is really nothing for me to do. I dont know anyone here either, which makes it so much harder.<br>
M
 

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It took me awhile to find a new groove after I decided to stay home. I was the first of my friends to have children, and found I didn't have much in common with my old friends after I became a SAHM.<br><br>
For me, joining moms groups REALLY helped. For me, LLL was the best fit. I started attending meetings, going to the weekly playgroup that members had organized, and before I knew it, I had a new circle of friends. If I had to do it over again, I would've reached out and joined groups sooner after I started SAH, instead of waiting until after my second child was born.
 

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I do. I have zero friends IRL. There are no moms groups here that I know of. I talk to my mom, that's about it. It's definitely lonely at times. Most times, actually lol.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bwylde</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9881157"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I do. All the SAHM's are so cliquish and I don't fit into any of the groups. I have nothing in common with anyone and I just feel so lonesome. I have nothing in common with my former work friends anymore. It can be very hard.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
And I feel so bad for my daughter, every time we go out in public and she sees a baby she smiles and waves, and she doesn't have anyone to play with her own age. I'm even thinking about going to a church so she can make friends. . .
 

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there is only one mom and tots group in my town and the lady i called to register with hasnt called back yet.<br>
there are lots of groups in the city we're from but without a car i cant get there.<br>
mdc is all i have right now.
 

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well there are alot of SAHM here from church. but I feel out of place. I guess just too darn crunchy!! That's ok. I still go to park dates and such for my little ones, but they don't seem to crave it too much.<br><br>
I am trying to recall when exactly I turned crunchy. I could totally go for "Ben and Jerry's mint chocolate chip icecream.....<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yummy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yummy"><br><br><br>
Yep I have add and yep I am preggo.
 

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I joined a mom's group on meetup.com, it's a pretty neat website, see if there are any mom's groups in your area...or on yahoo o check your local newspaper or healthfood store...maybe try to start one up yourself, you would be surprised how quick you can get something going.<br><br>
I am very different than alot of the moms in my group, I am not so mainstream anymore and most of them are...but I don't care about that...I just want someone to talk to, and someone to listen to and listen to me, and have something in common and if kids and a husband is all we have in common then so be it. And my son has a blast playing with all the other kids and just getting out of our house....again, don't worry about having alot in common, even if you only talk about your kids thats **** something....and you never know you may influence them more than you know.<br><br>
or try just going to a park and start chatting with some of the moms there...I was getting very lonely and depressed so I am glad I have made some new friends.
 

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I don't feel lonely as such, but I do think I should make some SAHM friends with kids for DS to play with as well.<br><br>
I have one friend and I haven't seen for her ages because I gave up smoking and she's a 'trigger' because she smokes.<br><br>
I think sometimes it would do me some good to get out with some other Mum's and enjoy myself
 

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some days yes, a good friend moved out of the country, so no more play dates for my son or me<br>
I have family close so most days its not so bad
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>EthanandSydneysMom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9879514"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I was wondering if anyone feels lonely at times SAH? I love being with my kids, but I feel that my friends from my old job have forgotten me. Does anyone feel the same way?</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
For me, it really helped to make a point to stay in touch with my old co-workers and other adults I had as friends pre-baby, whether they had children or not.<br><br>
I stay in touch with them and do things with them regularly so that I still feel connected to my old job, and my old self. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I don't really feel lonely. Overwhelmed sometimes, yes. Isolated, and with little to no help, yes. But not lonely. If I'm lonely, I call or make a plan to meet my old friends.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bwylde</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9881157"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I do. All the SAHM's are so cliquish and I don't fit into any of the groups. I have nothing in common with anyone and I just feel so lonesome. I have nothing in common with my former work friends anymore. It can be very hard.</div>
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I've read other posts on this board about cliquish SAHM's. My experience with moms groups and playgroups has been to kind of go with the flow, though, even if the moms are not exactly like me, or nothing like me. I've found all people have good qualities (well most people) and all people have bad qualities. I can always learn something from people with different perspectives. I go to playgroups and such with the idea that I'll listen to them and learn something, or maybe gain a fresh perspective, even if I don't agree with them 100%. I like meeting new friends who are different than I am. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>annethcz</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9885267"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It took me awhile to find a new groove after I decided to stay home. I was the first of my friends to have children, and found I didn't have much in common with my old friends after I became a SAHM.<br><br>
For me, joining moms groups REALLY helped. For me, LLL was the best fit. I started attending meetings, going to the weekly playgroup that members had organized, and before I knew it, I had a new circle of friends. If I had to do it over again, I would've reached out and joined groups sooner after I started SAH, instead of waiting until after my second child was born.</div>
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I think this is so true. It takes a while to get into a rhythm as a SAHM, and to find groups and activities that you can do with your child. I felt for a long time like going back to work and finding a job was looming over my head, and that took up a lot of energy and time. There is an adjustment period to being a SAHM.
 

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I'm sooo lonely most of the time. DD is 5 months old and I actually think about going back to work because the lack of adult interaction is starting to get to me. I know that's not what I want, but SOMETHING has to happen. I live in a very small town with no mother's groups. The local Parents as Teachers coordinator has been talking about starting a group for bf'ing moms, but so far nothing has happened. I'm also worried about DD interacting with other children. I know it doesn't make too much of a difference right this minute, but soon she's going to need to be around other children.
 

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No, I worked hard to meet new people when my daughter was born because all my friends were single and childless. I now have a wonderful group of mom friends and don't feel lonely at all.
 

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My DS is 18 months now, and I met some great friends at LLL Meetings. I had the most luck connecting with other moms there b/c we are like minded.<br><br>
I haven't had much luck with connecting with moms at other group settings since I find I less in common with them as they do not share the same values (eg: breastfeeding a toddler, GD, babywearing, etc.<br><br>
I did meet one friend at the car wash! She was wearing her baby and we connected by talking about that!
 

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yep definitely feel the same way..<br><br>
I also feel that even if I do have friends, it's really hard to meet up or chat together consistently because we are all busy with our own lives...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>katie&micah</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9889035"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm sooo lonely most of the time. DD is 5 months old...</div>
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It will most likely get better! I know that for the first 6 months or so after DC was born, life was just so hard and of course I was lonely because I didn't see people very often (hard to do that when you nest in and focus on breastfeeding, recovering from a c-section, etc).<br><br>
I felt like my body didn't recover from the birth (very traumatatic and my c-section) for at least 6 months. Heck, I couldn't even bend over fully without pain until that point so I sure as heck didn't feel like making trips out and visiting. I was pretty much on my own, with no help, immediately following coming home from the hospital through about the 6th month. It sucked.<br><br>
After the 6th month, though, I made it a point to reestablish old contacts, find new friends for both DC and myself, etc. It helped immensely.<br><br>
It kind of takes a while to find the groove, but it can happen! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Good luck!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Spring Flower</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9888856"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
I've read other posts on this board about cliquish SAHM's. My experience with moms groups and playgroups has been to kind of go with the flow, though, even if the moms are not exactly like me, or nothing like me. I've found all people have good qualities (well most people) and all people have bad qualities. I can always learn something from people with different perspectives. I go to playgroups and such with the idea that I'll listen to them and learn something, or maybe gain a fresh perspective, even if I don't agree with them 100%. I like meeting new friends who are different than I am. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br></div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
I've found that volunteering and getting really involved with planning events can help you get past that cliquish feeling of moms groups (or any group really).
 

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I do! My dd is 10 months and I still don't really have mommy friends. I'm young, and most of my pre-baby friends just don't get what married life with a kid is all about. Plus, we moved when dd was 2 months old. I joined all the mommy groups in the area and have dwindled down to going to one I enjoy the best (I'm still an oddball there, though). I realized that to make real friends, I'd have to make an effort. So at a recent playgroup a new mom stuck out to me, and I really enjoyed talking to her, so I got her email addy so we could get together outside the playgroup. We were both interested in doing holiday crafts, so we decided to meet up and do a project together. Sometimes you have to take initiative to make friends. Join groups and be active in them! If you find someone interesting, try to get to know them better.
 
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