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As a sort-of spinoff of the 'judging' post, I keep thinking how much lactivism/BFing is like the Christian idea of evangelism/salvation. Some (most?) Christians believe that once you are saved, it's permanent - you can't be 'unsaved'. So it goes, I think, with breastfeeding. I can't IMAGINE a scenerio where I would switch to formula. Has anyone ever come across a backsliding breastfeeder anywhere (online or IRL) - that is, someone who nursed her first baby for 1 year or more, and then formula-fed subsequent children (I mean, of course, in the absense of extenuating circumstances)?

If this (admittedly half-baked) idea is true, at what point are you 'saved'? After you've written your first check to LLL? After 1 year of nursing? 2 years?

I can't think of anything besides Christianity and bfing where the change is so permanent and paradigm-shifting -- are there other areas of life where people 'see the light' and can never go back again?

I apologize if I've offended anyone of any religion - my personal filter is out of whack from sleep deprivation
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Hmm, that's an interesting comparison. It doesn't really work for me. I don't think that BF is such a black-and-white, once-you've-done-it-you'll-never-go-back type of thing for most women (MDC mamas are not most women!). I think that many women will 'try' BF and if it doesn't go well and easily, they switch to formula without feeling too badly about it. Then they will probably try BF again with subsequent children unless the first BF attempt was really traumatic. Also, tons of people BF and supplement with formula...probably the majority of BF'ers if I can go by what I read on other boards. Some of them BF for a long time, too, much longer than the average (like to 18 months or 2 years). So obviously for them it is not a "I been SAVED!!" type of issue. They don't see using formula as living in sin.
 

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I think some people treat it with the same "marketing" / overly-pushy / sometimes rude mentatlity that many evangelizing Christians do. Having been a former Evangelical - I've done a lot of 'witnessing'. It mostly pisses people off and embarrasses them - even if you use a lot of tact and finesse. When people take the same 'religious' tone with breastfeeding - it often turns people off - but just like Christian evangelism -will win over a few. But there are ways of disseminating information that are more recievable to a broader base of people out there. That said - once you get someone to nurse their first beyond a year - the chances of them ever using formula with any future kids is almost nil.
 

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Sadly, I've encountered people both IRL and online who've breastfed one child than gone on to FF subsequent children. It's always because of some lame excuse, too, like wanting to smoke or drink, BF is toooo haaaard, formula is just as good, blah blah blah barf.

The only way I can personally see FF any of my future children is if I for some reason had to go back on my bipolar meds early. Like if I was psychotic with either mania or depression, but that isn't very likely with exclusive BF because of the Prolactin. The only reason I had to take them after DD (and stop BF early) was because I was supplementing due to low supply and not producing enough Prolactin. The low supply was mostly my own fault so I'll be taking steps to keep that from happening again.
 

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I hope everyone realizes that no offense to any religion is intended.

I have a friend who nursed her first till 13 months. With her second she'd go away for the weekend and leave the baby with her dh who gave him formula. She switched him to formula a few months ago because he wasn't growing real well. She regrets it and has expressed interest relactating. I know another mama who nursed her son for 2 years. She claims he didn't get solids till too as well, but she said if she ever got pregnant again she would use formula because she'd have to work outside the home.

Kara
 

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1. Do people go on to FF subsequent kids after partially BFing one kid? Yes-- Vicki Iovine of "Girlfriend's Guide to the First Year" fame comes to mind.
She nursed her oldest for "months" (who knows what that means) but started supplementing with soy formula bottles early on, and says it was a fast slide toward exclusive formula feeding, starting from there.

And then she mentions that she nursed her youngest for all of three weeks. BUT, she never had an exclusive nursing relationship with any of her kids.

I think that's pretty typical of the moms I know. They nurse for a few weeks or a few months, start supplementing at night/weekends, and eventually wind up going completely to formula.

2. Do people go on to FF subsequent kids after exclusively BFing for six months and then nursing to or past a year? None that I know of.

I certainly can't imagine giving any baby of mine a bottle, not after nursing DS for 17 months.


Though I HAVE met plenty o' converted Christians who got disillusioned after awhile and left.
No offense intended.
 

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I have a friend who completely relaxed her opinion of bf'ing.

She bf'ed her first exclusively for 6 months, and then continued until 15 mos or so, when she got pg.

Her second was exclusively bf'ed for 4 mos, but continued until 18 mos.

Her 3rd was never exclusively bf'ed. He had both breastmilk and formula from the get go, and was weaned at 12 mos. He had sherbet at 2 mos.

Her first 2 kids were born before my 1st was born, so she loved to give me advice when I had my baby. As my son was nearing 4 mos, she asked me when I was going to start solids, and when I told her 6 mos, she said, "Oh, but he's your first, so of course you do everything 'they' say to do. When you have more than one, you get much more relaxed about it."

When her 3rd baby was born, I was talking to her on the phone, and she was bragging how relaxed her standards were on the new baby, and was making that the mark of a good mother. "My husband feeds him formula bottles at least once a day. There's no way I'd let him do that with my first. But it's so nice to be so experienced that I realize it's good for Daddy and baby."
 

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My mom bf'd my two older brothers (but less than a year for sure, I don't know how long) but formula fed me. Her younger sister did the same thing. My mom explains it that she was too busy to sit down with me and get the hang of nursing together, her MIL came to visit and expected to be waited on. Supposedly my aunt also didn't have time to establish a nursing relationship with the third because she was too busy with the older ones.
It sad, because I sometimes feel that my mom is better bonded with my brothers than she is with me (we had a rocky relationship, she is an alcoholic, recovered now, but I got the brunt of her drunken abuse growing up because I was the youngest and still at home, and supposedly I was "mouthy").
 
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