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Discussion Starter · #1 ·

I start back to work tomorrow. While there are a lot of positives, I am really, really, really going to miss my baby boy. I feel very fortunate to have had the option of staying home for the first 14 months of his life, but now some lucky person will get to spend more waking time with him than I do. I am trying not to freak out, trying to keep it all in perspective, the money will be nice and maybe we will be able to afford an actual house some day. It's just that we are the tightest unit, he and I, how do you let go?
 

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Jen, honestly, you're a strong woman... I couldn't let go, girl... I didn't have it in me. DH and I have worked very hard to create an environment where I was with her to the exclusion of baby-sitting except from family and rarely, until she was 2. Then, I went back to school and intended to work and have her in day-care. And I couldn't do it. So I went to night school, while dh was home after he got off work. I didn't work.

For the first 2 years we were on WIC and Foodstamps, and we struggled in a 2 br apt. But Dh works hard, sometimes 80 hours a week, as a tow truck driver, dd is almost 4 now, and we live in a nice duplex (1400sq.ft), in a semi-nice neighborhood, with a dog-park close by for the shepherd. I'm in school full-time, she's on the campus 1 day a week for 2 hours in their constructivist pre-school. Dh is our primary earner, right now, and then it'll be my turn. My goal is to complete my first round of degree-earning and have child 2 in 2010, then repeat the SAH gig for first 18-24 mo, then return for my Master's and possibly PhD.... and have a practice established by the time dd is 15, and child 2 is about 10.

Now that she's bigger, it's easier to make things work so that dd is only occassionally not with one of us, if not both of us, or someone from a small group of trusted allo-parents. I work now too... cleaning and 'blessing' homes (inspired by FlyLady) of mothers I know through dd's other school where I parent help 8 days of 16 per month (in school the other 8). They are mothers who need help and live in a like-minded fashion. Dd comes with me to my jobs, and has play-dates with my clients' children, while I work, often side by side with my client.

I guess I'm not a real SAHM... I'm a SWCM; Stay With Child Mother... I have tried to facillitate opportunities where she can be with me, or I can be with her as much as possible, while she explores the world and I proudly pursue my dreams, hopefully modelling that a woman can do anything she wants.... and we both love it.

There will be a time when it is more natural for us to detach, some, separate... as she gains the skills and knowledge to be more independant and capable. I am excited to teach her and learn from her through that process, it will be wonderful to watch. And I won't feel as though we were made to disconnect prematurely...

Good luck you lovely... Follow your heart.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
This is why I love it here on MDC...every other person in my life is saying things like, "You two need to seperate" or "It will be good for both of you" and in my heart, I just don't buy it. It is just not natural.
PrennaMama--thank you for such a beautiful post. Aloha, OR sounds like it would be a really nice place.
 
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