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Last minute NCB plans, help me help my friend!

549 Views 5 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Babydoll1285
My friend is 36 weeks exactly w/her second baby. She just watch BoBB and has had some sort of epiphany that she would like a ncb instead of the epidural she had planned on all along. Her 1st baby came at 39 weeks so she doesn't think she would have the time for hypnobabies to benefit her. She tried to sign up for a lamaze style class and it was (surprise) full.

Can you suggest any online resources to prepare for a ncb? (Like an online birth class?) Or a great ncb book? I thought of Ina May's guide to childbirth but I couldn't remember if that book included techniques and ideas for coping. I've suggested my friend create a list of affirmations and take at least 30 min daily to fully focus on relaxing her entire body. I'd love some more ideas to encourage her to the birth she really wants.
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How about a doula? I often do a mini-crash-course on coping techniques when I'm hired late in the game. Otherwise, maybe a childbirth educator or doula could do a private class or couple classes? Maybe she has a friend who has had a good birth experience who would be willing to support her? I would suggest her partner (if she has one) read The Birth Partner. Good books for her might be Active Birth or Gentle Birth Choices. I would second the idea for 30 minutes a day for relaxation. Good luck to your friend!
Birthing from Within is also an awesome book that talks a lot about overcoming your birth "tigers" as well as coping techniques.

Just for inspiration, Spiritual Midwifery is still unparalleled, IMHO, but for some people the hippy language may be a turnoff.
I took an online class called the Mcmoyler method. It was NCB focused, but was also very realistic about pain meds. I didn't take a bradley course or anything like that. I really think that childbirth classes are best for birth partners, but that a laboring mom, as long as she isn't scared will instinctively figure out how to get through contractions. I found that I did things to relax that no one told me to do, I just knew[ what I needed at the time. I think the best thing she can do is to practice relaxing and allowing her body to open up. Also she should hire a doula if she can.
I agree about hiring a doula if at all possible.

She needs to get her spouse on the same page as her, especially if spouse was part of the first, epidural birth. So at the very least, spouse should also watch BoBB, and hopefully participate in and read up on whatever online solution she comes up with.

She should think about what will be most relaxing for her. I took our hospital birth class which taught breathing techniques and some other things. It was a good class, not like a lot of the ones I've heard about for hospitals. That said - there's no guarantee at ALL that the nurses will be able to suggest alternative methods of handling birth (birthing ball, birth tub, walking, rocking, etc.) - I've a good friend whose natural births were with nurses who suggested things to help her relax and focus, and her medicated births were with nurses who did not (even after having successful med-free births - in the moment, she didn't think of those relaxation techniques 'til they'd brought in the epidural
). This is also where a doula and/or educated spouse comes in really handily.

Is her OB good with natural births? She should tell him/her that she wants one this time, and ask them to support and respect that. My OB is awesome with NCB and very supportive of it. Not all are (and if hers doesn't seem so, then she should consider especially the doula etc., or else a different provider).

My additional advice:
Stay home as long as she can, distracting herself with things like house cleaning, walks, whatever.

When she gets to the hospital, have as few people in the room as possible, and keep it dark(er).

When she hits the point where she thinks this was a horrible idea, she's probably nearly to the end, consciously relax her body slowly and she'll feel less pain and know that she is almost done.
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Thanks for your replies! I suggested to her several books that you all mentioned. I also recommended she look into a doula, which I think would really serve her best. I even found a couple childbirth ed dvds she could try. Now it's just up to her to put the work into it!
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