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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, help me weigh my options here. I'll try to be brief.
I got a lawyer that was referred by a good family friend. He almost thinks like my stbx, which I feel is good. His partner, however, seems to be the one handling my case (for the most part, although not on paper).
We had our preliminary proceeding and ended up keeping the stay away (protection order), and then the judge gave him three full days a week! Mo 4pm to Tu 4pm, then We 4pm to Th 4pm and Fr 4pm to Sa 4pm. I already posted about this.
The partner is much older, and thinks my stbx is a 'little peculiar' and just has a 'gun fetish' but thinks that he'll come around and be reasonable. I can't stress how much this is invalidating my feelings about this. He didn't give any examples about why stbx shouldn't have the kids, he just said that 'she'd rather he not take the baby' 'the baby's breastfeeding' and 'couldn't we wait until the law guardian is involved'. I thought he was not firm.
Anyway, I've told them this week that I want the lawyer I hired to handle things, not his partner. Then I get a call today that the partner was trying to set up a conference, and then he told stbx's lawyer the visitation that I want him to agree to. WTF? Why would he lay it all out there? What's the point of setting up a meeting?
I left both of them messages that I am aggravated by this move, it makes no sense to me, please get back to me asap to explain/clarify.
What would you do next. I think about changing lawyers, and I will look into that, but in the meantime. What to do/say/explain. It just isn't clicking for them (without a big black eye, which is why I left--in order to avoid it escalating to that).
I am an intelligent professional woman who is a great mom and I think this guy (the partner) thinks I am a whiny woman (roll eyes) and what I say sounds just like every other bitter woman who's come through his office. Ugh.
 

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I am in the same place, only I don't have a lawyer. Just today I received statements from him that "I'm not afraid of him" in preparation for our court date on Wednesday.

I honestly think you should get a new lawyer. I would think it's within your right to ask for the lawyer you hired!

I would seriously balk if my stbx got that many overnights. That is the main thing I am trying to keep from happening at this next hearing. Also, the dumb thing I learned is that if there's no precedence of abuse, the court won't do anything to try to PREVENT it. There has to be at least ONE incident of abuse to children before they will prevent it. I know, I feel the same way, I should get credit for leaving BEFORE I or one of the kids die.

In Hawaii over the last few months the media's been focusing on DV and sharing stories of those who died from it and yet nothing seems to be changing.
 

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Not all lawyers "get" abuse. You should seek one out who does. Maybe ask for referrals from the local domestic violence center. Ask them how many cases they handle with domestic violence in them.
 

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yup. they told me they cant help me until AFTER ds is abducted or abused. its disgusting. the sysytem is nit on our sides as mothers. i would change lawyers.
 
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