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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Dreaming</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8004683"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Do LDS members generally not spend time with people outside the church?</div>
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i would say generally that members do spend time with people of other faiths. i have yet to meet a member who wouldn't spend time with someone for not being a member. but there are always those people who chose for themselves not to. they are from every religion and walk of life. it's possible these mommas are like that but without knowing them i have no idea. just wanted to let you know that it's not a common practice (at last in my area) or a 'church rule' that we can't or shouldn't befriend people of other faiths. it's actually the opposite. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I live in an area heavily populated by members of the LDS church and have lived here for 27 years. My husband was raised LDS but decided against it as a teen, never baptized.<br><br>
I have never had anyone from the church be unfriendly to me but they are not friends with me or my children.<br><br>
It is my understanding that friendship would only serve a purpose if witnessing to someone about the church.<br><br>
It is challenging because other wise we have lots in common. I do understand that those who spend the most time together doing church activities and sharing like beliefs will of course have the closest friendships. To be honest if a friendship were to develop I would at some point engage in a discussion about our beliefs and we would see things very differently. We would be unevenly yoked.
 

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I guess some people are different, but I have lots of friends who are not LDS. I do know I am really busy, so sometimes I don't to get together often with others. Do your LDS friends have more kids than you? I noticed the more kids someone has the less time they have to spare.
 

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I used to be LDS. So I think I can offer a perspective as both an insider and an outsider.<br><br>
The official "line" will always be that "of course we associate with people of other faiths." So anyone who is still active LDS will give you that answer.<br><br>
Personally I think the more honest answer is that LDS people prefer to associate only with other LDS people. Of course this varies depending on location....here in Utah, LDS people don't even have to try to be friends with anyone not-LDS, because there are so many other LDS people here.<br><br>
In places where they are more of the minority, LDS people will be more willing to branch out in their social circles.<br><br>
(And FWIW I think this thread should go in "Religious Studies" because that is where you ask questions about religions, for the most part.)
 

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i converted this summer. what i can tell you from my experience is that, with members that have large families or church callings, unless *I* make the effort to get together, it doesn't happen. people are just too busy and i find that a lot of people are OK not getting together with others during the week <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
i have a ton of friends that are not members of the church. but again, we meet on a set day of the week and otherwise, it's hard to get together. someone has to make a VERY intense effort to get people to meet up.<br><br>
i would be very surprised if it was YOU or the fact that you aren't a member. i have met so many women that are "homebodies", totally ok just being at home with their kids. ESPECIALLY, if they have more than one child and are homeschooling <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
perhaps call and make a playdate, offer to make lunch. see what happens <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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take it as a 'line' if you want but my absolute best friends in the whole wide world aren't LDS nor am i trying to convert them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">
 

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">The official "line" will always be that "of course we associate with people of other faiths." So anyone who is still active LDS will give you that answer.<br><br>
Personally I think the more honest answer is that LDS people prefer to associate only with other LDS people. Of course this varies depending on location....here in Utah, LDS people don't even have to try to be friends with anyone not-LDS, because there are so many other LDS people here.<br><br>
In places where they are more of the minority, LDS people will be more willing to branch out in their social circles.</td>
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True to some extent. I live in Texas where LDS is not the majority. I am also a convert, so maybe that puts a different perspective on things, I dunno.<br><br>
I feel defensive of the
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">The official "line" will always be that "of course we associate with people of other faiths." So anyone who is still active LDS will give you that answer.</td>
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because I truly don't base any of my friendships off whether someone is of my religion. I just don't like how it was said "the official line" like I am not being serious in what I wrote. Maybe that is not what was meant because we are typing and not actually hearing what is said, but it just didn't sit well with me.<br><br>
Sorry to go off on a slight tangent here.
 

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I live in an area with lots of LDS, but most of my friends are not. My best friend is Catholic.<br>
As a homeschooler with just 2 kids, I often drop the ball on playdates and such. What works for me, and my friends have learned this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/innocent.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shy">, is for someone to set a specific date and time. Like instead of asking if I want to get together sometime, say, "can you come over Tuesday at 11? We'll play and I'll make lunch." Then I can commit to something specific. It works a lot better. I have learned to do this with moms I want to get together with too. Otherwise it just doesn't ever seem to happen.<br><br>
Sarah
 

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I'm LDS, and I have plenty of friends who aren't, and several of them aren't Christian. It just doesn't make that much difference to me. What WOULD make a difference was if we just genuinely didn't hit it off, or if they practiced some parenting things that I just couldn't be around, or were antagonistic about my faith. Like a pp said, you will always run into people of all faiths who choose to only interact with those of their own faith. I'm sure there are LDS moms who are the same way, but despite what another pp said, there is no 'official line' we just feed people to look good.
 

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I think ALL or at least the major majority of my friends outside of my little neighborhood AREN'T members - and I live smack dab in Happy Valley Utah.<br><br>
I certainly would hope that caring about people of all faiths was a lot more than lip service to LDS - otherwise we don't really deserve to be called "saints" do we?<br><br>
As for time, I know between raising a family and ward callings and activities it might seem that I prefer mormon company - but maybe it's just that I'm trying to get as much done in as little free time as I possibly can.<br><br>
I have learned in so many ways that I have so much to learn from others, especially those with different life experiences than me - I highly doubt I'm the only mormon who thinks that.<br><br>
I'm sorry if anyone has had a bad experience, and to the op, I think if it was me, I'd try again and if it didn't work, maybe even ask straight up why not - I bet they'd be honest with you and it might make you feel lots better.
 

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I actually don't hang out with any other active members from my ward. I just haven't found very much in common with any other them. My friends are either not religious, or inactive, definitely not living the LDS lifestyle members. I think, as an active member with a time consuming calling (responsiblity like teaching a class) it is really easy to just caught up in everything. I know I have a hard time scheduling things myself, and would appreciate someone just telling me when and where to be!
 

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I have had the exact same experience as you many times!<br><br>
I grew up in, and live in, an area where there is a large LDS population. I don't think it has anythign to do with you. They probably thought you were a really nice person. They are so close-knit in the church and they spend so much time with church and family activities that it's probably just hard for them to find time to invest in you.<br><br>
I know one mom, she has 5 kids including twins, one of whom has the same condition that my dd has. She is a wondeful, dedicated mom and I so want to be her friend. We have met for ice cream and she has called me a few times. My impression is that the demands of family life are very high for her (naturally, with five kids), and on top of that she spends all of Sunday at church, all of Wednesday at church in the evenings, Family Home Evening on Monday nights, and the rest of the time is spent driving her kids to their various activities and events.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>momuveight2B</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8006775"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have never had anyone from the church be unfriendly to me but they are not friends with me or my children.</div>
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Oh, I've had some people be very unfriendly to me. I do know not to lump all LDS into the "unfriendly" group though. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>A&A</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8007626"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Personally I think the more honest answer is that LDS people prefer to associate only with other LDS people. Of course this varies depending on location....here in Utah, LDS people don't even have to try to be friends with anyone not-LDS, because there are so many other LDS people here.<br><br>
In places where they are more of the minority, LDS people will be more willing to branch out in their social circles.<br></div>
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I lived in SLC for a few years. It was during my high school years. You want a rough time in high school? Be a religion that is not LDS in SLC. Oh, the stories I have. I had people down right refuse to talk to me upon finding out I was non-LDS. Then you get certain guys asking you out on dates because they assume that you must be "easy" cause you're not LDS. I've even not been welcome and actually asked to leave a person's house by the parents when they found out I was not LDS. I was told often that someone's parents forbade them from being around me. I was told by a few people that I was not worthy to be in their company. Here's the best part....I didn't mess around with guys, I didn't do drugs/alcohol or any other illegal activities, I had very good grades, and I respected my family. As someone once called me...I was the perfect non-mormon mormon. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Let me also say that I had some great LDS friends and a wonderful LDS boyfriend at the time. But on the whole I received much more negativity than I did kindness. Even with that experience I do know that the people who treated me such are the minority and do not represent the LDS faith as a whole. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Peace.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Peace">
 

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I can assure you it's got nothing to do with her religion. It's just an individual thing. Maybe <i>she</i> is just shy, or she thinks you wouldn't want to hang out with her since she is LDS. You never know.<br>
I have lots of friends that aren't my religion because we have lots of other similar interests, goals and ideals. But, it certainly is much easier to make friends from Church, since we already have one common connection, kwim?<br><br>
I'm sorry, I hope it works out how it's meant to for you! It is so much harder to make good friends after you are married and have kids.
 

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if she is too absorbed in herself to want to spend time with a wonderful momma then that's her loss. i say dump her and don't think on it again.
 
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