[colobus237]

Something of a vent...
In the past weeks we have often been in groups with lots of mamas and children, mainly babies up to preschool age. And almost every time, there is at least one child of two or three who is OBSESSED with bothering my baby - putting hands on her, shoving stuff in her face, leaning right up in her face and saying "baby baby baby", trying to feed her rocks and crackers.

Okay. I get that they are interested. I have older children too, who love to kiss the baby. But when I have said, kindly, "please leave the baby be, she is sleeping," why do the moms not redirect their children? Is it my job to do so? I'm generally not too keen on getting stern with other people's kids, and usually not in a position to find them another activity myself, being that I am tending to my own children and protecting my baby from fingers in her eyeballs or whatever.

: It's SO irritating. Maybe I just need to directly address the parent and ask them to find something else for their toddler to do?

 

[Peony]

Perfect timing for this thread. I am having an issue with a toddler at DD1's gymnastics class. DD2 and I sit out and wait for DD1 and this toddler roams everywhere, the mom really doesn't pay attention to her. I am always having to guard DD2 from her, today she kept hitting DD2 with her baby doll.

: I'm not mad at the toddler, she is just a baby still, it's the mother who needs to intervene. And I guess I need to say something since it isn't going to suddenly occur to the mother to watch her roaming child.

I KWYM though, I run into this other places as well, and I tend to be very careful of DD2 since she was on O2 for 6 months of her life, I really don't want germy kids all over her.

 

[colobus237]

Yes, and it's not always even that the kid is not being supervised - often the parent is right there hearing me say "please leave the baby be, no fingers in her face, she is sleeping, please leave her alone" and the parent says "oh honey be gentle with the baby, you can just look, just touch her feet..."

And I think NO! There is no way your child has the self control to "just look", and I am asking that the baby be *left alone* not "touched gently, on the feet."

 

[michaelasmommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ccohenou Yes, and it's not always even that the kid is not being supervised - often the parent is right there hearing me say "please leave the baby be, no fingers in her face, she is sleeping, please leave her alone" and the parent says "oh honey be gentle with the baby, you can just look, just touch her feet..." And I think NO! There is no way your child has the self control to "just look", and I am asking that the baby be *left alone* not "touched gently, on the feet."

I agree with you that parents should not tell their kids they can touch after you said no, but they can just look. Looking at your baby is not going to hurt it. Maybe some kids don't have the self-control, but many do. My own children, ages 19 mos and 3 yrs are so good about not touching babies that if I tell them they can, they look at me like I'm nuts.

Anyway, your small baby is pretty easy to move. If the kid won't listen and the parents won't intervene, go somewhere else. There's really not a whole lot you can do to cure rudeness, without being rude back.

 

[colobus237]

I'm sure your kids are great about it.
I was referring to the children who have already shown that they are obsessed with touching/poking/grabbing/bothering, whose parents then expect them to sit inches away but "not touch". That, I think, is unrealistic.

It doesn't always feel easy to haul myself and nursing/sleeping baby up and away, especially if we are being toddler-stalked around the room

, but of course you are right that that is an option.

 

[eli's mama]

I agree with you that many kids absolutely will not not touch. I guess I was a little freaked about this in the beginning w/ ds2 and my older son picked up on it. Now if we go somewhere where other kids are even looking at ds2 my 3 yo acts like a bouncer. He will go right up to the kid, kind of put his hand on their shoulder and move them away. Sometimes it's not very nice like "Don't look at my brother!" and other times it's "come play with me over here!" but I guess my attitude wore off on him.

 

[blessed]

For some reason dd was always fascinating to older toddlers and we dealt with a lot of that same kind of unwanted interest.

I learned to gently but firmly tell the child "So-and-so, dd is done with that. She's all done. No more, please." Repeat or reinforce as necessary and redirct into another activity. That worked really well and didn't seem to offend any parents or hurt any childs' feelings.

 

[rmzbm]

Quote:

Originally Posted by michaelasmommy I agree with you that parents should not tell their kids they can touch after you said no, but they can just look. Looking at your baby is not going to hurt it.

I disagree. If I want a kid AWAY from my baby the mother needs to take it AWAY! Toddlers can be loud & decide to start "touching" again at any time. Away means away.

 

[Daniel's Kitty]

If I am worried I have ds2 in the sling or wrap. Though the worst toddler for poking is his brother. He loves to poke his brother or give big hugs and slobbery kisses to the baby that I just got to fall asleep.