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Another thread got me thinking about this, it's just so ridiculous, I had to share, I don't understand how people can do this.

This summer (for 6 months), dh was traveling a lot for work with a large group, so along the way the wives went out to a few cities with the kids (if they had them) and visited. One couple who have 2 girls ages 2 and 3.5, got a hotel babysitter in EVERY city almost EVERY night!! In one city alone, they went out 5 out of 6 nights! Here are the cities they did this in:
San Francisco, Las Vegas, Miami, NYC, London, Dusseldorf, Hannover (Germany), Horsens (Denmark), Paris, Amsterdam, Prague and Tokyo!! EVERY city we wives went to! Not to say that you should be any more cautious in Europe because I definitely would not have left dd with somebody in the US either, but most of the time the person that came to their room didn't even speak english- and they laughed about it! They would flippantly say "Oh, the lady who's watching the girls doesn't even know english, haha... oh well, maybe they'll learn a little German!"

Also, every time they did this, they asked if we wanted to SHARE a sitter to keep the cost down! Yeah, sure- that's just what I want to do. Leave my child with a stranger in another country who speaks NO english and for all I know could sell her on the black market OR molest her or fall asleep while she chokes on something- SURE! Count me in! They would stay out late and long too! Average was from about 8pm to about 3 am! I know of at least one time they stayed out until 5am!!!

I even remember spending the day with the wife in Paris and she and her dh were planning on going out that night to some club or bar or something- and she was talking about it, and her older dd said "mommy please don't leave us again tonight!" It was heartbreaking! I stayed in pretty much every night- if dh wasn't working, we brought dd with us to dinner. It was difficult because she is active these days and wants to get into everything- It was quite worth it for me to not have a stranger in another country possibly do something terrible to my child.

Anybody know anybody like this? Why they do it? Argh! I just don't get it...
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I really *get* the temptation. There may even be people on here who have done it.

We just came back from a trip to Orlando. I adore traveling with my children, and fully think of a family trip as just that-- *family* time. Having said that, traveling with kids, especially more than one kid if at least one is a toddler, can be really taxing. My dw and I don't really do nights out at home, but on vacation, there were a couple times when I really felt I needed it to keep my head on straight. Still, there is no way in the world that I would have felt comfortable leaving my kid with a sitter service-- someone they don't know, for whom I don't have any really thorough information, in an unscreened environment. Just no way. So I am with you there in not really *getting* how someone could take that leap of faith.
 

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Oh, yes. That's what I meant... I of course would leave dd with somebody I know and trust, but to leave her with a stranger I have no background on... *sigh* Maybe I am paranoid
 

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Yes, I guess my only point was that I would have enjoyed the trip and this special time with my kids so much more if I could have had just a couple hours of adult sanity time (something I don't need so badly at home) after the kids fell asleep for bed each night. It is really too bad I couldn't have had someone I knew and trusted with us because it would have kept the traveling more enjoyable for everyone. I totally understand what you are saying. It's not paranoid at all, IMO. It is totally how I feel too.
 

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I wouldn't do it, and I agree it's a pretty scary thing to do. Especially when it comes to vacation (which is what I would consider what you've described, albeit a working vacation for dad), I want to do things WITH my kids. I take them out to restaurants and events at home, so I wouldn't see any need to leave them behind just because we were away. I know I wouldn't be able to have fun like that.
 

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Never in a million years would I leave my child with a hotel babysitter in a strange city. That's just my preference. I don't even leave my baby at the gym babysitter. I guess if they are comfortable with that its ok for their family, but I couldn't.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Avocado View Post
Oh, yes. That's what I meant... I of course would leave dd with somebody I know and trust, but to leave her with a stranger I have no background on... *sigh* Maybe I am paranoid

No, you aren't paranoid. your normal and it's healthy to be worried about a baby with a total stranger!
 

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admittedly (no offence meant) americans are really way more paranoid than other nationalities, in general,
I wouldnt leave my dd with a strange sitter like that, just because I wouldnt want to leave my dd with a sitter every night anyway, even if it were a friendly known sitter, even grandma! I just wouldnt want to be out away every night.
(what do they do at home?)

however, I do leave dd with sitters sometimes and go out, but I generally check the sitter out, someone we know and dd is comfy with.

that said, I did once leave dd with a hotel sitter that I didnt know - BUT the sitter was actually the sitter of the hotel-owners child, and my husband has just left us (we were in nicaragua) and I had a sprained ankle, and needed to run errands, but with my crutches, i could barely get around, let alone push a stroller or carry a sling! so taking a sitter for the afternoon was really more like basic survival. hardly the same thing!

you're not crazy, you've just seen how "parenting"parents are, as compared to "mothering"parents!
 

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I would not have left the kids with a hotel sitter, but if I were going to be traveling like that with the same group of people I am *SURE* I would have worked out some kind of kid care swap with one of the other wives.
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There was an article recently in American Baby that suggested paying for a separate room to put the baby in while you're on vacation
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First of all that's the DUMBEST thing I've ever heard of, especially when you can get rooms with TWO king size beds, second, who is going to go out of their way to spend the extra money just so they can have a room all to themselves? It never stops amazing me the things people will do and the lengths they will go to just to get out of caring for their children. I swear some people think as long as the kid is still breathing when they get back, then everything is fine.
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hmm we are going away for a week this month - our first famliy vacation in three years - and I was thinking that I might look into taking advantage of using a sitter just one night so dh and I could have a nice evening dinner. But I wouldn't do it if ds was not comfortable with the idea. I was hoping I would be able to have a chance to have him get to know someone, like in the daytime kids activities, who could watch him one night.

I'm worried that, bc he goes to bed so early, that we might find ourselves trapped in the room from 7pm on. OTOH, one of us could take turns going out while the other stays with ds, but it would be fun if dh and I could go out together at least one time for this vacation.

Other than that, we are really looking forward to having a family vacation and doing things together as a family all day long.
 

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A random hotel sitter, definitely not.

However, if the hotel was connected with a very reputable nanny agency, one I could check into beforehand, I would consider it. Especially for the time of night when the kids are just in bed.

I would also consider the following situation: our family and dh's extended family were staying at a family-owned rental home during our vacation in Ireland. If you wanted to (and we didn't at the time), you could ask the owners to provide a babysitter. Now, this is a very case-by-case basis, but we saw the owners daily and felt very comfortable with them. I would feel safe using a babysitter they considered safe.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by UrbanPlanter View Post
I'm worried that, bc he goes to bed so early, that we might find ourselves trapped in the room from 7pm on. OTOH, one of us could take turns going out while the other stays with ds, but it would be fun if dh and I could go out together at least one time for this vacation.

Other than that, we are really looking forward to having a family vacation and doing things together as a family all day long.
Perhaps there is a close friend or relative that wouldn't mind coming along for the vacation that would be willing to stay in the room with your DC while you and your husband go out?
 

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I've had to go out of town for work and have used babysitting services through hotels and everything worked out very well. Both hotels in cities said that they could only give numbers for nanny agencies and would not set anything up for you- you had to do it yourself. Both nannies were very professional. He was 11 months and one year when I had to go but still breastfeeding so I wouldn't go without him. I figured 6 hours of a stranger babysitting was worth it (I was gone over 36 hours both times but only needed to do limited work in the hotel and right next to the hotel both times). They would meet me back in the room when I had breaks and I would nurse him. This happened to be in the daytime too both times.

I know the temptation is to think that these services are not at all appropriate and to judge people as non-attached parents if they use them. I personally would never use them for my own going out at night (unless I had a work related function I could not get out of). But I see them as appropriate for people who have to go out of town for work but would rather bring their children with them. Some kids may not take too well to a stranger but mine- he was fine both times. In fact he was super happy because they played different games than I did. I was also right there if he needed me. I have had more lengthy stays out of town where I brought my husband along to take care of our son. But for the limited work but lengthy stays I needed to be gone on two occasions, it wasn't worth the expense to fly someone else with us.

And, I work in the criminal justice field and I wasn't at all worried about the safety of my son.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Avocado View Post
Leave my child with a stranger in another country who speaks NO english and for all I know could sell her on the black market OR molest her or fall asleep while she chokes on something- SURE!
So true! You just never know who the hotel would send over. Why would anyone even risk that just to go party without the kids. So selfish!
 

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I haven't read all the repies yet but I just had to say that I would NEVER leave my children with someone I didn't know.

Dang....I take that back, it just hit me. I did leave the children with someone *I* didn't know. She was the daughter of dh's long time friend. But dh knew the dad and trusted him enough. But in the situation about hotel sitters.....NO WAY!
 

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Never. But I'm more paranoid than most. I trust NOONE.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Poot View Post
Perhaps there is a close friend or relative that wouldn't mind coming along for the vacation that would be willing to stay in the room with your DC while you and your husband go out?
this is a joke, right?

I can't imagine, first of all, asking someone to spend $1,000 to come on my vacation to babysit my son (who, by the way, is 4 1/2 years old, and I think I inadvertantly wandered into this forum by mistake when I hit "new posts"). Also, I can't imagine bringing anyone on this family vacation my dh, ds and I are so looking forward to.

The hotel we are going to has a "kids club" and my ds is well accustomed to preschool, and might enjoy some kid oriented activities. I'm thinking that if he gets to know a caretaker there in the first couple of days, and they are certified babysitters of the hotel, that dh and I might take advantage of it for one night while we are there.

OTOH, the last time we went on a vaca like this ds was much younger - not even two years old, not verbal, bfing night and day, still in diapers - and NO WAY would I have considered a hotel babysitter back then. We also had a suite room and were able to eat dinners in it while ds was sleeping. I think the room we are getting this time is just a bedroom.
 
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