[Owlpainter]

I am fairly new to this site but I really need some legal info on what the rights are of one parent keeping thier son intact. I have posted before and expressed my concern that my husband is feeling very uncomfortable about our almost two-year-old son's intact penis even though we have had no problems with it whatsoever. My husband thinks it looks funny, or that it's infected, or women won't like it when he's older, or that it has to be retracted. I have tried to educate him on the care of an intact penis, that being just leave it alone, but I am afraid he might try to retract his foreskin, or even worse go to our local prehistoric doctors and get an advisement to circ. I hope it doesn't come to this but I want to be prepared. I saw some legal listings on here a month ago, but I am having trouble locating them now. Please help!

 

[tana'smama]

Hey Owl--I wish I could help you but unfortuntaly I'm in the same position. My DH is determined to have my unborn son circ'd and I'm determined not to do it. It is becoming a big strain on our marriage.

Good luck and I hope someone can post something that will help you.

 

[eepster]

What kinds of legal protection you need deppends a lot on whether you are married and/or living together, or if you have some other arangement, but since I'm not a lawyer I can't really help you with that.

The first thing is simply to make sure your Dr knows that you a prepared to take legal action against them. This way if DS's father tries to have it done he will make it more difficult. Deppending on how determined you think he is, you might want to send letters to all the area Drs.

Make sure your DS never goes to a Drs office alone with his father.

Tana'smama, only the the mother can give consent in the hospital, so he's safe till you get out at least.

A subtler problem is that your DS's father is making negative comments about your DS's penis. This is very hurtful and needs to stop. I would point out to the dad how he would feel if his dad had gone around saying his penis looked funny and was dirty.

If simply pointing this out to him doesn't get him to cut it out, I might just resort to teasing him about how he is missing part of his penis everytime he does it, till he stops.

 

[paquerette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eepster ana'smama, only the the mother can give consent in the hospital, so he's safe till you get out at least.

This is not true everywhere! Check your state laws and your hospital's policies.

 

[Owlpainter]

Thanks for your input everyone! I thought this battle would be over after my son was born and I stood my ground at the local hospital. I informed my midwife ahead of time that I did not want my son circed and she worked her circle of peditricians to make sure this was clear to everyone! Thank God for the midwives! I guess I am going to have to do the same thing with my local peditricians, just to be sure. I really don't think my husband would go that far but like someone pointed out the negativity towards my son's normal penis needs to stop. I comfronted my husband with anger and information and told him this was an issue that I would take to court and he backed down. He also apologized and then we could have a civilized conversation concerning his negative comments. I know he is feeling pressure from his side of the family concerning religious beliefs and cleanliness. Someone posted yesterday on the religion aspect and it was very helpful. I am so thankful for this circle of support! I don't feel alone, Thank you all!

 

[tutucrazy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Owlpainter Thanks for your input everyone! I thought this battle would be over after my son was born and I stood my ground at the local hospital. I informed my midwife ahead of time that I did not want my son circed and she worked her circle of peditricians to make sure this was clear to everyone! Thank God for the midwives! I guess I am going to have to do the same thing with my local peditricians, just to be sure. I really don't think my husband would go that far but like someone pointed out the negativity towards my son's normal penis needs to stop. I comfronted my husband with anger and information and told him this was an issue that I would take to court and he backed down. He also apologized and then we could have a civilized conversation concerning his negative comments. I know he is feeling pressure from his side of the family concerning religious beliefs and cleanliness. Someone posted yesterday on the religion aspect and it was very helpful. I am so thankful for this circle of support! I don't feel alone, Thank you all!

(hugs) I'm so sorry for you and for your son. You need to have a serious discussion with him about his attitude and comments. His obsession over your son's penis has got to stop NOW. He needs to understand that he has a responsibility to teach his son a HEALTHY perception of his body, which is fostered through positive reinforcement. If he could read the thread we have about the intact boy and girl it should put his fears of "infection" to rest.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1071893

My intact husband grew up in central Tennessee in a time when the circ rate was around 86% or higher. He was on the swim team and wrestling team. He showered in front of the other boys. He was the guy who always ended up naked at the college parties. He only knew one other boy who was intact. NEVER once did he feel insecure about his penis. NEVER once did anyone comment about his penis. His parents raised him to have self-confidence and take pride in his body.

 

[A&A]

I'd contact these guys:

http://www.arclaw.org/arc_contact/

 

[ChristaN]

owlpainter,

There are a few of us in Colorado if there is anything we can do to help. I don't have any boys myself (only girls), but am an educator at a hospital and I believe the glongley is a nurse or something in the healthcare field. Yulia_R is in Colorado, too and very knowledgable.