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Discussion Starter #1
I have almost completely convinced my younger cousin not to vax her baby, due in August. The only problems are that the baby's father (they're not together, they don't get along, and he's already talking about visitation) will most likely not be on board, and she will be on WIC and Medicaid. I read the other thread on WIC and Medicaid and see that there shouldn't be any legal issues with this, although she lives in a small town and it may be hard to find a dr who accepts Medicaid and is okay w/ not vaxing. I think she will have to do WBVs in case there are custody issues ("You mean you never took the kid to a dr and he is not up to date on his shots???")<br><br>
I suppose she should just NOT tell him about the vax issue. I'm sure he would never think to ask.<br><br>
Is there any way this could become an issue? Are there any legal precedents for unmarried (or married) parents who disagree on the issue and can't work it out? Has anyone dealt w/ this situation?
 

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I don't know the legal issues...but my vote would be for her to just make the decision and not really even bring it up with him. She shouldn't lie to the baby's father, but if he's the type to just do the opposite of what she thinks is best just to spite her...she shouldn't bring it up. Not fair to have her baby's health be at risk becuase they aren't getting along.
 

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If she has sole custody she will be the one making medical decisions. I agree, just don't say anything!
 

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I vote that she should NOT bring it up to him... ever!<br><br>
She should do everything within her capabilities to keep it a "non-issue" between them.<br><br>
I agree with keeping up the WBC in this situation. She should try to find a non-vax friendly family practioner (NOT a pediatrician!) ... or a DO.<br><br>
Are they married? If she can afford it she might want to get in to see a lawyer and find out if she gets "legal" custody... if she does then she gets to make the medical decisions. If they have to share legal custody she might not get a say....and he'll probably win in court ... if it gets that far.<br><br>
I hope she does well with this... it's a very sticky situation.
 

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if one parent has custody on paper, the other parent can still walk into the Hd and have the child vaxed. no one there would ever ask re: custody.<br><br>
tell your cousin good job! and keep quiet. fake a vax record even, in case he asks.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
Hmm, they are not married. He is not saying he wants custody at this point, only that he wants visitation.<br><br>
I am just thinking that any court would rule in favor of the vaxing parent if somehow he got wind of it and took her to court. Like I said, it is a small town, and I can just see a nurse who works in the dr's office, for example, saying something to her friend and word getting out.<br><br>
But yes, we will do everything in our power to keep this a secret!<br><br>
How would you fake a vax record? I guess as a last resort to protect my children were I in a custody situation I would be willing to do that myself.
 

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Does the father have any idea that she doesnt want to vaccinate? I would simply not tell him unless he asked. You can do well visits and when he asks how she did ...Give the weight lengh and mile stones. If she has a ped that agrees w/ the "delayed" vax schedule then she is under the supervision of the doctor. Honestly my DH would have NO idea what Nathan got when we did vaccinate.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: my ex just assumed she was vaxed at her well visits
 

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Why do you think he wouldn't be on board?
 
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