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Less stuff=Better relationship w/baby?

1K views 25 replies 19 participants last post by  SabbathD 
#1 ·
I just went through all of our baby equipment and bravely got rid of (donated) as much of it as I could. I have always known that it was all unnecessary and promoted too much bad alone time for baby so I let it go. Not to mention how UGLY all that plastic is!!!!!

What we got rid of:
-excersaucer
-walker
-johnny jump up
-high chair
-floor play mat/gym
-infant tub

What we still have:
-stroller,2 of them
-pack and play
-swing
-bouncy chair
-crib
-assorted slings (not getting rid of these...
)
-car seat
-small high chair that attaches to table

All of the stuff that we got rid of had just been sitting in storage, we haven't used it at all for dd#2, and I have to say it feels real good. But, I know we can do even better. I'd love to hear from others who have even less "stuff" and what the experience is like.

I really want to get rid of more, what things do you think I could do without?
 
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#2 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ellesmama
What we still have:
-stroller,2 of them
-pack and play
-swing
-bouncy chair
-crib
-assorted slings (not getting rid of these...
)
-car seat
-small high chair that attaches to table

All of the stuff that we got rid of had just been sitting in storage, we haven't used it at all for dd#2, and I have to say it feels real good. But, I know we can do even better. I'd love to hear from others who have even less "stuff" and what the experience is like.

I really want to get rid of more, what things do you think I could do without?
I love love LOVE getting rid of stuff and doing without all the baby gear. It feels like a breath of fresh air to me to just keep it simple. IMO if you are still looking to purge, you could try and do w/o the crib, one of the strollers, possibly the pack n play and bouncy seat and the swing. What we have is a car seat, a booster seat for the table, a lightweight stroller, a changing table, a ring sling and a mei tai. I have a playpen but it isn't for ds, it's for a girl I sit for (for naps).

Maybe out of the playpen, the swing and the bouncy you could just pick ONE that works the best for your needs and ditch the other two? I chose a bouncy seat when ds was small, for when I took showers and such, but now that he is 8 months I purged it in favor of putting him in the booster seat while I shower. I try to select ONE item that fits my needs and whenever we get something new, something else gets retired to make room for it.

Good luck and enjoy your newly decluttered house!
 
#3 ·
What we have:

baby gym/floor mat
high chair (Amish-made wooden one)
crib
swing (never used)
mei tai and bjorn
infant/toddler tub
carseat (infant and now convertible)

just got rid of johnny jump-up

I loved the gym/floor mat. It was a place to lay ds that mildy entertained him and the toys are adorable and even now (he is 12 months) he lays down to look in the mirror and pulls the toys off to play with them.

I love our high chair. It was a gift before ds1 was born. If I didn't have it, I'd probaby just have one of those chairs that attaches to the table or a booster type that also works for younger children.

He sleeps in his crib for naps and at night. A must-have for us. I do realize many people here don't have or need one.

Never used the swing. Might as well get rid of it.

I LOVE the mei tai. I will not use the bjorn anymore, but dh might if we ever have another child. I wouldn't mind getting some more carriers.

Our infant tub is huge and is supposed to last until 2 years or so. I quit using it a few months ago because it is so much easier to just put him in the regular tub and just put a few inches of water. I don't know where we would have bathed him before he could sit up without an infant tub, though.

I used the johnny jump-up a few times to get a shower, but dh thought it was bad for the door frame, so I gave it away. Now if I need to shower I do it while ds is napping, or I just strip him down and plop him in the shower with me. He loves it!

Oh, someone loaned us a pack-n-play, which I used for 2 weekend trips. He only spent one night in it. Then he slept with me. I am returning it to the person who loaned it to me since she just had another dc. When we travel again I think I'll just go to bed when he does.

I wanted a stroller and an exersaucer, but dh is very anti baby-equipment. We've gotten along just fine with the little we have. There have been days I've complained (like trying to carry our hefty ds and a stack of books at the library - although the mei tai has solved that problem). And sometimes I think, "If only I could contain him for 2 minutes I could __________________."

Looking at the list you have left, I'd get rid of the bouncy chair and/or the swing, possible a stroller (depending on how often you use them and if they serve different purposes). Maybe the pack-n-play.

But, really, none of that stuff is bad. It just depends how you use it. But if getting rid of it makes you feel better, you don't "need" it and can function with less.
 
#4 ·
Ah man! I had a whole reply typed up and now it's gone! All we have off that list is a stroller which rarely gets used and a million slings. We've had random bits here and there but we end up giving them away. They don't work for us. I think DD is more comfy in her development because of it (this is all just my opinion! No flaming
). She uses dishes and silverware and "adult" sized furniture (like chairs) with more ease than her peers. Alot of baby stuff seems so impersonal to me that we just never got it. Why bother when we can do it ourselves you know?
 
#5 ·
Do you really need the crib AND the pack n play?

Do you need both strollers?

Do you need the swing AND the bouncy seat? It seems like they're both used for the same thing (a place to put baby down) at around the same developmental level. The bouncy seat is probably more versatile.
 
#6 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ellesmama

What we still have:
-stroller,2 of them
-pack and play
-swing
-bouncy chair
-crib
-assorted slings (not getting rid of these...
)
-car seat
-small high chair that attaches to table
Let's see... we have one stroller, an umbrella style. We used it twice. Once for the fun of it, and once when we needed to go to the store, and the sling was in the wash.

We never used a pack and play, a swing, a bouncy chair, or a crib. She has been in a swing at my mom's house before, and once, I asked my mom to bring over the pack and play they bought for us (that I didn't want and they're keeping at their house 2 hours away) because dd had a really hard night, and I wondered if she wanted to stay in the big bed with us. We never used it though. It took up space in our bedroom for a couple weeks til I asked dh to take it down, and give it back.

A carseat is essential if you drive, of course.

And we just got a hook on highchair last week. We've used it a handful of times. I really like it, cause dd can sit at the table with us, and be part of the meal, and I don't have to wrangle her and try to eat at the same time (which was getting harder as she's getting stronger!). So, that's my answer: an umbrella stroller, a carseat, and a hook on highchair for when they're old enough to sit up.
 
#7 ·
What a good thread! But, I have something to say...

Hi, my name's Erin, and I'm a pack rat, a cling on, a hoarder. I love to keep stuff, even if I don't use it.

The reason I say that is because I was doing this very thing over the weekend, but I hit a wall. LOL. One of my SIL's patients just found out, at 6 and a half months, that she's pregnant. I know, crazy huh? Apparently she was on some type of hormone therapy for a health condition (I honestly don't know the whole story, so please forgive me) and her doctors dismissed the positive tests for being the hormones. She then ended up in the hospital with abdominal pain where they did an ultrasound, and low and behold, there was a baby! Since I was blessed with a linebacker kicker, who I felt at 11 weeks, I just don't know how you can't tell you're pregnant. What ever...

Anyway, she's freaking out, and I have, or at least I thought I had, a lot of stuff to give away, but now I can't part with any of it. LOL.

I have a swing, which we still use for naps. Can't get rid of that.

I have a bouncy seat that I used when DD was newborn so I could pee and shower, but now that she can get out of it, it's packed away under the crib. I tell myself I might need it if we have another baby. Right..

I also have a bassinet that's full of stuffed animals. She outgrew it a long time ago, and same thing - "what if...?". Even though I've convinced myself that next time I'll get a co-sleeper instead of a bassinet, I still can't part with it.

I have one big stroller and two umbrella strollers. We got them free and Toy's R Us with big purchases. I was planning on leaving one at grandma's and one at grandpa's, so I can't part with them.

I have an excersaucer, which has replaced the bouncy seat for my bathroom breaks. Can't part with that.

I have a floor mat/gym, which we sometimes play together with. I could probably do without it, and it takes up space, but for the once or twice a week that I use it, I can't let it go.

The only things I have for this woman are clothes and some left over diapers. LOL.

What is wrong with me? Half this stuff I BARELY use, but because I use it at all I feel that I shouldn't part with it.

I have issues.

But you know what, I'm so sneaky. Hehehe.. I snuck a little "starter kit" in there, with a copy of Mothering magazine, some breast cream, some nursing pads, and a nursing guide from my Madella pump. LOL.

I almost gave her all the Parents/Parenting magazines that my step MIL gives me, but they're crap and I wouldn't wish half the bad advice in there on my worst enemy, so I tossed those.

And as far as toys go, we don't have much in the way of "baby" toys. A few gimmicky things that people have given us, but she mostly plays with real things - measuring spoons, dish towels, that sort of thing.
 
#8 ·
Stuff we used with DS:

Bouncy seat
ONE playmat
sling
stroller-this one is on the way out. he gets mad after about 15 minutes.
doorway jumper ( he just LOVES it, so we don't feel guilty )

Stuff I don't use/need to donate:

baby walker. ds never cared for it and I think they're dangerous. Besides Id rather be the one to help my baby walk!

We don't have a lot of "stuff"- at least not as much as most parents around here. Paddy has his favorite little toys, loves to play with books and be read to, and has more fun crawling around the house and playing peekaboo. Come to think of it, he's pretty much intolerant of "gadgets" and would be very angry if we forced him to stay in something like an exersaucer. Its wonderful taking care of my newborn because all he needs is mama milk and a clean diaper
 
#9 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Poot
Come to think of it, he's pretty much intolerant of "gadgets" and would be very angry if we forced him to stay in something like an exersaucer.
My daughter would be mad if I forced her to stay in an excersauser, too. Then again, who forces their baby to stay in a gadget anyway?
 
#10 ·
I have a double stroller and a single stroller, both rarely used.
An exersaucer, which ds loves (I don't plop him in it all day, don't worry - but it's a safe place to put him if I need to)
Multiple carriers which are used frequently
A high chair used everynight at dinner, now that he's actually interested in solids.
Some toys

That's it. Oh, we have a pack and play in the closet. He slept in it for a few months (in the bassinet part, so it was like a cosleeper). At one point we also had a bouncy seat, but we didn't use it much. My 50lb DS1 liked to use it as a rocker, but he was above the weight limit and broke it. We also had a portable swing, which we only used when he had RSV. He was so sick that I couldn't even sling him - the swing kept him upright enough to breathe, so if I needed to put him down, that's where I did it. Before and after that, he wasn't a fan.
 
#11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by North_Of_60
My daughter would be mad if I forced her to stay in an excersauser, too. Then again, who forces their baby to stay in a gadget anyway?

well, some people do, but I know what you mean.

It seems like the title is one subject and your post is another
Do I think it's great to get rid of unwanted/unused crap? yes, I do!!! I wish I could! Do I think people who don't ever use plastic mainstream baby devices are closer to their children than people who do use them in moderation (or in my case, very minimally, 10-15 minutes per day)? No, I don't. I think a parent/child relationship is much more complex than where they are for 5 minutes here and there while mom chops up tomatoes or goes to the bathroom.
 
#14 ·
Well, lets see, I had/have for my dd

exersaucer, some small toys (ok a laundry basket full of toys/books/stuffed animals) and her booster seat

I also have 2 strollers (although my double is out of commision since dh ran over the wheel.) and a high chair.

We had 2 bassinets, a swing, and bouncy seat.

my dd hated the swing, ds hted the bouncy, both used the bassinetts (ds for 3 months and dd for about 8 weeks)

But I don't think my relationship with one is better than the other just because 1 had more "alone time" than the other.
 
#16 ·
I did a cleanup myself. A lot of stuff is in storage or was used so infrequently that I don't even know where it is!

Here's what we still have:

~Exersaucer (my mom will KILL me if I get rid of it, she bought it and she's over every day, plus it's my baby bucket when I shower)

~A few different slings, right now she prefers the somewhat-politically-incorrect NoJo

~Crib and cosleeper, used as clean laundry receptacles (again, mom bought the crib and since it turns into a bed it'll eventually get used)

~High chair

~Car seat

~Thick quilt folded into fourths used as her play mat (we have hardwood throughout the house so this is necessary when she plays on the floor)

~A really cool wood-and-fabric rocking horse, never used as a bucket, that she's just starting to grow into

Gone:

~Bouncy seat
~Stroller (MIA!!!)
~Motherlode of plastic light-up toys
~Various kinder-gym apparati
~Swing
 
#17 ·
Neat idea ellesmama! From your "what we still have" list, I bet you could trim even further. The only things we have from that list are the slings, carseat and highchair. DH and I could probably trim further too--we barely ever use the highchair since DD has always prefered to sit in a lap (and she eats more that way too!?)
 
#18 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by bri276

It seems like the title is one subject and your post is another

Yeah, I know, my title and subject don't match up. I think I was hoping to hear that my purging of junk would undoubtedly lead to a better relationship with my baby automatically! (which I know is ridiculous)
However, to answer my own question, less stuff = better relationship with baby?, I think that getting rid of this stuff forces me to hold her more of the time rather than having several convenient places to put her. However, I don't think it is a bad thing to put your baby down for a few minutes while you get something done or sothey can work out their muscles in new positions.

But for me, the temptation is too great for me to use those things more than I really want to, and feel guilty about it later.
 
#19 ·
i say get rid of it all except the sling,highchair and car seat. we dont have anything and its great..wait let me rephrase that.. we did have a jumperoo and thats in storage now for the next babe to possibly use. my lil spazz needed the exercise every now and then
 
#20 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by StrawberryFields
I try to select ONE item that fits my needs and whenever we get something new, something else gets retired to make room for it.
That's a good philosophy for managing stuff in general, I will keep it in mind.


Everyone has such great suggestions, and it is so inspiring to hear from other mothers who have way less than me----that's awesome! It makes me want to keep going and get rid of more.

I would LOVE to give up the crib. It seems the hardest one to let go of. My 2.5 year old girl is still in it, and when she moves to her toddler bed, I would love to get rid of the crib altogether. I am sad that she ever had to sleep in it and I don't want the next one to. (Right now the baby sleeps with us, hopefully, she will until she's at least one) I guess when it comes down to it, my main reason for not getting rid of it is because my mom and MIL would think I was so weird......(even though they already do) So I know that is not a good reason. Sometimes the risk of alienating them keeps me from doing more of the AP things that I want to do. (Boy that sounds terrible, but it is true)

Thanks for all your good responses, keep them coming, and I will keep you updated on what else I have let go of on my list!

All you moms with the very short lists of baby equipment---you ROCK!!
 
#22 ·
We have all the same things as you, but we also still have the exersaucer, though it's in storage at the moment. I have four kiddos, and I need safe places to put the baby so the swing and bouncer both come in handy. The swing isn't mobile, so having the bouncer means that I can shower with baby in the room with me, and I know he won't get stepped on. As for the swing, when he is having a hard time sleeping due to the activity going on around him, he can go in the swing and be out in no time flat.

I don't overuse any of the contraptions and babe is in arms most of the time, but everything we have has a time and a place. The things that I mention we have had since child one and haven't added anything new (except some slings) since the very beginning of our parenting.

I'm not sure that having less things means I have a better relationship with any of my kids, but none of them ever spent a significant time any anything other than arms of the sling. I think the relationship you have depends on how much you rely on outside "things" to keep your baby happy.
 
#23 ·
We have 2 strollers, a single, and a double, but those are used for daycare. I think Alayna has been in a stroller once so far.
We have an exersaucer, but she doesn't use it yet.
, a bouncy seat, that I love! I can at least get lunch/suppers made.
And of course a crib, we partially cosleep right now. And a carseat.
We have never used the swing my mom bought when Rachel was born, and I have never owned a baby bathub, or a johnny jump up thing. Although, those johnny jump ups look fun! It's so funny, because my SIL and I have babies 2 months apart, and when you go to her house, their little living room is FULL of baby stuff! She has everything under the sun for that baby, and we have a bouncy out, and that's it!
 
#25 ·
Hmmm...what do we have....

One sling/and one moby - both essential
a co-sleeper - never used except first couple of days

a crib - never seen the babies backside once
a swing - used once in a fit of desperation at 3 am
changing table - used once, and now the cat sleeps on it. Seriously, can't get him off.
Rocking Chair - now that I love actually. Works wonders for her
Car seat - uh, DUH!
Stroller - okay, I have used this a few times. Serious back problems here, and she sleeps really great in it while we are walking around stores.
baby bathtub - really like having this.

But's that's all for baby gear we have. Huh! I thought I had more than this! I feel pretty good about myself....
 
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