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let's compare 3.5 y.o.

621 Views 8 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  jennipurr
I have a 3.5 yo dd.
She is smart, funny, energetic, interested, loving, strong, and caring.
She is also annoying, difficult, strong-willed and generally a pain in the patooty sometimes.

I feel like lately I've been saying "no" to her all the time. She's exerting her own free will a lot lately and wants to do everything herself... which is a blessing and a curse, depending on the situation. GREAT... you got yourself dressed! AHHHH!!! Get off the counter... I will get you a drink of water in a second!

She alternates though sometimes between wanting to be "big" and wanting to be "little", although she doesn't say that in words. One minutes she's insisting that she has to open her car door by herself and the next minute she wants me to put her socks on for her (something that she's been able to do for a long time). I have a hard time keeping up.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? I also have a 1 yo ds so I know that that plays into it sometimes. I get him dressed and then I'm telling her to dress herself...
I just never know where she's going to be coming from.
I know I am guilty of saying "in a minute, later, no, maybe tomorrow, we can't do that now, etc." way too much lately but dd wants to do art projects or other things that either have small chokable parts to them or are messy or need my full attention and ds is on the move. He's too small to participate but too mobile to put in a highchair for long.
I try to take dd on outings (just the two of us) and every other night I put just her to bed so we have some time alone but I'm open to other suggestions.
Is this just a three year old phase or am I being a lame mommy?
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Can I play? My dd is 3 1/4, and sounds a lot like your dd. I also have a 1 year old (girl).

Dd1 is smart, funny, very energetic, in awe of the world, and can be very sweet.

She is also stubborn, mouthy, she tantrums a least 3 times a day, she must do *everything* by herself ("Let ME do it!!!!"), and she wants to ride piggyback 24/7.

Sounds like our kids are acting like healthy 3 year olds. Take a few deep breaths -- we'll get through this!
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Ah, I can totally relate! My ds is 3.5. He too is incredibly smart, verbal, and funny. He loves words, loves to make rhymes, say silly things, etc. He is very loving and sweet. He told me (without coaching) that he wanted to get me flowers and chocolate for my birthday. He'll come up, rest his head on my shoulder, and say, "Mom... you da best!" He has more energy that I'd ever dream of having. When I ask him where he gets all that energy, he tells me, "If you want energy, you have to be silly like me! You have to hide from Daddy!"

However, "mouthy" is the name of the game at our house. I honestly don't know where he comes up with some of the stuff he says, since we never say things like that to him. His latest, hissed with as much venom as he can muster during a tantrum, is "You're a BAD mom!!!" He doesn't tantrum as often as he used to, but when he does, look out. He has a very intense temper and his first impulse is to lash out both verbally and physically. We STILL have problems with him hitting and kicking us when he's angry. (He doesn't do this to other children, just to mom and dad.)

My ds also wants to be both "big" and "little". Actually, the being little part is driving me nuts, especially when it comes to getting dressed. I know he is perfectly capable of dressing himself, because last fall he went through a stage where he wouldn't let us help him at all. But now he will not do any of it by himself (most of the time). I have to negotiate all over the place to even get him to put on one of his shoes. He tells me that it is too hard and he can't do it. He also still asks me to carry him a lot. Part of me wants to honor his need to be "little", and part of me worries that I am promoting dependence by not encouraging him to do these things himself. He also talks in baby talk sometimes, and that can be really annoying. How come they want to be big when it's something they can't do, and they want to be little when it's something they're perfectly capable of doing? Maybe it's the process of trying something challenging that makes them feel big, and then when they can do it easily, they can relax more to enjoy the attention and support from parents?
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My 3½ y/o man cub is a wonder. He's bright and energetic. Loving and concerned about everything and everyone. He has at least 15 babies that he takes care of during the day. He loves to sling them and nurse them. He kisses his baby brother's boo-boo and pats my back when I cry in front of him, assuring me "It awww-rite mama". He just becoming more expressive with his vocabulary and the things he now says just astounds everyone around. He's fiercely territorial over his possessions at times. He still needs a nap every day and if I wait too long to innitiate it he has a screaming mimi with every step (going potty, putting on a trainer, walking upstairs, getting a sip of water).

Having had 2 older boys, I know that this is one thethe best ages... Yes, it is exhausting keeping up with the tiny dynamos that they are but the world is brand new to them. And the excitement and enthusiasm that drips out of their very being is priceless. I just love that when I showed my DS an ant that was walking through the kitchen, he said to me, "You the best mama. Woook the ant! WOOOOOK mama!! Tank-que mama, tank-que!" What is better than that?
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How come they want to be big when it's something they can't do, and they want to be little when it's something they're perfectly capable of doing?
ooooh so true!

I also wanted to second the sudden baby talking. What is up with that? My dd can speak 100% clearly, for paragraphs at a time when she wants to but lately she'll just stand underneath the paper towel and point saying "dah" when she wants one. ARGH.

AND I can relate to the caretaking you mentioned Desdamoma... My dd carries around approx. 3,000 stuffed animals wherever we go. She has a purse that she transports many of them in if we leave the house. She asks me many times to re-adjust their blankets if they fall off and tells me many times a day to be quiet because one of her babies is sleeping. It's very cute and I'm impressed that she's such a good mother but I'd like to go to a restaurant and not have to get a table for 10 to accomodate her animals.

She still needs a nap every day as well and will often go in a lie down by herself if I'm not ready when she is. She tucks all her babies in and reads books until I come in to lie with her. Twice now she's actually fallen asleep before I've made it into the room. I loved it, but felt a little sad also. You mamas know how it is.
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Originally Posted by artgirl
IIt's very cute and I'm impressed that she's such a good mother but I'd like to go to a restaurant and not have to get a table for 10 to accomodate her animals.
I just drove my ds and his little cousin around town today with their baby dolls and stuffed animals all buckled safely into seatbelts.
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Sounds like my dd is a typcal 3.5 yr old too, ds is due in 5 wks.....then I'm sure it will be more challenging..... and our 10 animals are in our bed, instead of at the table :)
DS has a few babies, too.

We are in a great phase right now. I'm sure it can't last. Around Christmastime it was tantrums, and irrational demands, and hitting... it's like he was his own evil twin. Now he is like a dream child, he is sweet and cooperative and easy... I'm just enjoying it while it lasts, lol.

He said the funniest thing today. I pointed out some pink flowering trees and said, "Look, DS, aren't those trees pretty?" He said, "Yeah, pretty girly!"
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