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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Or whoever you're going to see over the holidays who might challenge your extended breastfeeding,or ask questions about it.<br><br>
My in laws haven't said anything yet, but dd just turned 2 so I am expecting something to come up this December visit...and I am really oriented towards non confrontational responses. Dp's sister plans to have kids in the not too distant future and I want to be a positive influence, ya know?<br><br>
So, how do I reassure them that not only is this healthy and normal, it's better than not nursing?
 

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Hah... I was just going to post something similar. DD is 10 months (and still a baby!) and my MIL just said to me over Thanksgiving dinner "so are you going to stop breastfeeding at 12 months?"<br><br>
It really makes me wonder what the hell people are thinking when they ask those questions. Is she just making conversation because she's uncomfortable and wants to fill the silence? Does she really want me to stop when DD is 12 months? She's not exactly anti-bfing but she didn't bf DH or his sister and made many many comments about the baby growing "on just breastmilk!" DH's sister nursed 4 kids, but has had some less-than-enlightened things to say about breastmilk (e.g. antibodies are no longer in your milk after the baby is 3 months old <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> )<br><br>
Good thing we won't be visiting MY relatives. They are much, much worse :LOL
 

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thank god everybody in my family is supportive! i know, i am so lucky. i was just visiting my 100 y.o. grandma last week and she was watching me bf and said "you know, i wanted to breastfeed but the doctor said i couldn't..." she looked so sad when she said that... i didn't tell her that her dr was probably talking out his ass, no reason to make her even sadder about it now.<br><br>
my stepmom is the only person who might say something obnoxious. she's pro-bf (bf'ed her younger dd but not her older, b/c in her words, she didn't know any better) but very anti-NIP. she was mortified when i whipped it out on the statue of liberty ferry when they came to visit last year. but she's just wierd, i really don't care what she thinks. i do care, however, if she tries to feed ds baklava like she did the last time we saw her. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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I remember when I was at my Nanny's house (she is in her sixties) when I was relactating. Kaeleb was 9 months old or so. She knew how important it was for me to nurse him to sleep. So, she was holding him and she calls me into the room (I was outside) and says "He's almost asleep, do you want to nurse him now" I took him from her and laid down on her couch and she was just watching me and she said "I think that is the most beautiful thing, a mother feeding her child". It still brings tears to my eyes. She was the only support I ever recv'd (other than dh and dd) outside of you guys!
 

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Oh, Justice2, that is so sweet. After a very hard night nursing my teething babe to sleep, it just makes me think...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> It's not so bad, now, is it?
 

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ds is only 16 mos old, but in my family and my circle of people I know, that's ancient to be still bf'ing. I've briefly discussed this with some of them...but you know what? I don't really talk about it. I just go and do it. Ds mostly nurses at nap times and at night. It's just the way he likes it. Sometimes he wants to bf during the day just for comfort -- and I take him into our "cozy corner" which happens to be in a rocking chair in the corner of my bedrm. If I'm at someone's home I will just ask for a room for privacy. And you know...nobody says a thing. I don't get support, but I don't get crap either. I think with my parenting the people in my life and I have reached a don't ask, don't tell policy. They don't butt in and I don't tell them to mind their own business. But maybe that's because I present myself as potentially confrontational? (I'm working on quieting that image down!)
 

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My SIL nursed her daughter until she was 2.5 or 3 years old, so DH's family is used to it. I nurse DD when we're over there, and they don't say a word. My MIL doesn't agree with co-sleeping, and lets everyone know that. I didn't hear the end of it about how my daughter would end up like my neice, and would be sleeping in our bed at 3 or 4 (why would that be so horrible?) But she is pretty positive about nursing, and hasn't said anything to me about extended nursing, so I'm assuming she approves. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I try to sneak away when I need to nurse while DH's grandmother is there. But only because she's senile. I swear, if I have to hear her go on about how she couldn't BF her 4 kids because they were all c-section babies (I had a c-section, but she doesn't beleive me, because I nurse) I'll go crazy! There's only so many times you can hear the same story, heh.<br><br>
My family is pretty good about it, as well. I'm sure my sister would look at me like I'm doing something horrible, but I haven't seen her in a few years, so there's no problem there. My step-mother was a big-time advocate of nursing when she had her kids about 10 years ago. She would go to protests and meetings about NIP'ing. I remember we had this picture of a larger lady, totally exposed from the waist up, nursing her twins...taped to the front of our refridgerator. My step-mom thought it was fantastic. I thought it was a bit strange to have in our kitchen, but looking back, I guess that picture is what instilled the idea into me that the whole nursing thing was pretty groovy. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
One of my aunts nursed her son until about 3 years old, so my grandmother thinks it's normal for me to still be nursing Brynn. She calls it "num-nums", which makes me laugh. She'll come over and say "Oop, Brynnie needs her mom for some num-nums." She's the only person that uses this word, and looks so ridiculous saying it, but it's cute. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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I just don't get it. I mean, there's nothing wrong with nursing a 2-year-old. I don't get why anyone would say or do anything to imply that there is anything wrong with it. I hope no one gets too defensive this holiday.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
My mom in law nursed one or two of her kids for a couple of months...she has never said anything so far. My mom asks questions about it, and cautions me not to disregard my own needs in favor of dd'sneeds...which I guess indicates that she feels like she didn't meet ehr own needs enough.<br><br>
Anyhoo, my dp's grandmother has made objections about our co-sleeping, but not to me, just to MIL, so I don't have tod eal with it.grandma also thinks we'regoing to BURN IN HELL b/c we aren't married, so I guess I should just be pleased that she doesn't share her feelings with me and is generally cordial.<br><br>
Yah, I need to avid getting too defensive/adversarial, but I also want to be prepared if anyone gives me a hard time!
 

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I'm not really an EB but plan to do child lead weaning with allison, although she is only 3 months old (4 on christmas day) i will hear the all to dreaded question of "how much longer are you going to keep that up?"<br>
I nursed my son till he was 11 months, and that was just uncalled for not my my mil's eyes but in my families... my sil nursed all six of her children not past really EB but till her youngest was 15 months... she her self had about had it at that point and though it was regiculous...<br>
But on to my family... i remember being only 9-10 years old and at my "big" family get together (35+people) and i was sitting in the dinning room with my 2 of my aunts, two cousins, and a great aunt... my mom's cousin had just pulled in the drive (you could see from the dinning room window). And they started saying how gross it was she was still nursing her dd that was 3 years old, and how she was going to have "problems" when she grew up, and she was 3 months pregnant with anothe baby that was going to be way to small b/c it wasn't getting nutrions since she was still nursing her 3y/o... so i can't wait to see what they say at the christmas after this one!!! LOL
 

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To anyone who seems to raise an eyebrow, I just say "the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding your baby until they are at least two years and longer is even better". Most people don't even know what the WHO is but seem to just keep their mouths shut.<br><br>
My in-laws are used to ebf since both my SILs did it. My FIL surprised me - he said he thought it was the most natural thing in the world! I think it's my MIL who has more of a problem with EBF.
 

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My (childless!) SIL took care of it for me!<br><br>
Seh said, in the Mil's hearing range, how one of her friends is an OBGYN and she is recomending around 5 years for nursing!<br><br>
I have never heard it that high! I don't know who her friend is but I thought that was cool, and it really made my two year old seem like a baby still!
 

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Great! See, us childless folks can be of some use after all! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I have never had to be around vehemently anti-breastfeeding people, so I don't know how I would react to them.<br><br>
What I normally do it just lift my shirt and breastfeed dd, who is 2.5 years. I don't say anything about it, I just act like it's totally normal (which it is) Some people act a little uncomfortable, but I just ignore them and assume that being exposed to more people breastfeeding will make them less comfortable in the future. That said, I still have to kind of take a deep breath and tell myself to do it before I do it, but this is more a result of being shy about showing my stomach and breasts than it is about the nursing part.<br><br>
A couple of weeks ago I followed a link to kellymom (sorry I don't know how to make links) to remind myself why extended breastfeeding is a positive thing<br>
and she had a lot of information about nutrition and antibodies that continue as long as you breastfeed.
 

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My side of the family is too funny. The guys , like my uncles and grandpa, and dad are men's men- you know very typical guys. They are so proud of the girls when we did tomboy things growing up - and we are from Wisconson - so many are dairy farmers. When I was pregnant they would blush and shift their feet if I talked about cramps or whatever- but once I went into labor they started to compare me to a milk cow. It was so funny to hear my dad and grandpa talk about what was going on (the stages etc) they actually were really helpful, having delivered so many animals helped, anywa it drives my mom crazy- and once Katie was born and I started nursing they at first went to shifting their feet and looking away and blushing, till they overheard me talking about my supply and once again I was a milk cow. So now my grandpa calls and will ask me right how how bfing is going and my dad is soooo sooo supportive and really wants to help. (my mom told him I had a blocked duct- he called with all sorts of home remedies to try)<br>
Anyway I love my old dairy farmer family and am glad they feel a part of Katie's feeding. Even if I am constantly compared to a milk cow :LOL<br>
(ohhh I am getting all homesick and sad now...I miss my folks)<br>
My Dh folks are flying in Tuesday and dont know I am still nursing - so we shall see how that goes!<br>
MOOOOOOOO<br>
kelly the milk cow
 

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we were at the inlaws yesterday, I wasn't sure if they knew she is nursing or not. Yesterday dh and fil went to get some part to fix the tree lights. dd was jumping on the couch and hit her head hard on the wall. She nursed for a few minutes and mil asked how often she is nursing now. I fibbed and said usually around nap time. She didn't say anything else. I think its just new to her.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>KellyandKatie</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">till they overheard me talking about my supply and once again I was a milk cow.</div>
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:LOL Off Topic -<br><br>
You know what makes me really feel like a milk cow? When ds (he's only 9 mos. but I'm lurking on this board to get ready) is in bed w/us at bedtime and he wants me to have both boobs out so he can go back and forth between them in between playing silly games w/dh!
 

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QUOTE - mil asked how often she is nursing now. I fibbed and said usually around nap time. -<br><br>
I always have a hard time with this one too! I often lie when people ask me and then feel silly about lying. People's responses are often "three times" *wow* I don't know what they would do if I told them the truth...around 15 times.
 

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How about just say "whenever he/she wants" when people ask how often?<br><br>
Be proud of the tremendous gift you are giving your child!
 
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