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Resources that are against spanking:

The Positive Discipline Series by Jane Nelsen and positivediscipline.com (no spanking and no punishment)
Dr. Phil and drphil.com (against spanking but uses imposed consequences, time-out)
La Leche League and its catalog of books
The Dr. Sears Library (also uses time-out)
Natural Family Living book (by the publishers of Mothering)

What I find great about the aforementioned resources is that they not only say "don't spank" but tell you all the things you can do that are much more helpful to your children and you.

It's great to be with fellow non-spankers!
 

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A great book that helps deals with the parent's desire to spank is:

The Truth Will Set You Free by Alice ******

I've bought and read most, if not all, of the gentle discipline books. They're great. They are full of great ideas. I use them and love them. However, I discovered that I still had this inner urge to spank. I can't explain it; I just felt compelled sometimes to spank or to strike fear in my dc that I would spank. (Writing this is awfully humbling.) So, a friend who sits on the nospank board gave me this book and it transformed me. DH and I both read it thoroughly separately and to each other. Here is a bit about it from the nospank website.

Quote:
In this book Alice ****** provides an accessible guide to understanding and breaking the centuries old 'cycle of violence'. In addition, she helps provide insight into how acknowledging our childhood experiences can help in developing a 'cycle of nurturing' that can lead us as individuals and a culture in more authentic, engaged and creative directions.
Some other books by ******:

For Your Own Good

Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society's Betrayal of the Child

I haven't read these last two so I can't recommend them.
 

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here's another link.

It has concise quotations of studies supporting each major point. If you want to go one step further, to prepare for true debate about the subject, there's also an outline of the pro-spanking pov.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/spankin4.htm
 

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The book I am currently reading, Becoming the parent you want to be has great ideas about being a gentle parent.

For example, it says that hitting, slapping ,biting, etc are all just a phase that many children go through as they learn to communicate.

The authors suggest the following:
1. Set a limit - try to anticipate when it is going to happen and stay calm
2. Honor the impulse - the child is trying to communicate something
3. Give social info - "Slapping hurts."
4. Redirect
5. Don't hit back.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by pamelamama
anti-spanking resources

Playful Parenting by Cohen

www.ezzo.info

www.nospank.net

www.neverhitachild.org

http://www.nopunish.net/

http://www.umich.edu/~urecord/0405/Sept13_04/24.shtml

This is what I have so far. What can you add? As always, advocacy of spanking is not desired or permitted in this forum.

I joined just so I could respond to this post. I spanked my son today. I felt so out of control. I know it is wrong, but I didn't know what else to do. Time out, restrictions, dr phills method, nothing seems to be working. Thank you for this info. I'm going to keep on working on it.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by wendeew
I joined just so I could respond to this post. I spanked my son today. I felt so out of control. I know it is wrong, but I didn't know what else to do. Time out, restrictions, dr phills method, nothing seems to be working. Thank you for this info. I'm going to keep on working on it.
If you feel comfortable you can start a post in this forum about the specific discipline issues you are having. Some of the mamas here blow me away with their incredible ideas and knowledge. Things that I most always don't think of on my own. I'm getting through it with their help.
I think about spanking almost every day...because that is the way I was raised. Forgive yourself and start over...every minute is new.
 

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Hello i just wanted to thank all of you for these Web sites i hate the thought of spanking my daughter and she laugh at me when i try any Discipline. I have spanked her just becouse i was at the end of my wits but i must not spank her hard becouse like always she laughts at me and keeps on doing what she is doing. Im trying to get so sort of Discipline started in this house. I know if i dont i will be in troble later,
 

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Here is the official position of the American Academy of Pediatricians:

http://www.aap.org/advocacy/childhealthmonth/spank.htm

WHERE WE STAND

The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly opposes striking a child. If the spanking is spontaneous, parents should later explain calmly why they did it, the specific behavior that provoked it, and how angry they felt. They might apologize to their child for their loss of control, because that usually helps the youngster understand and accept the spanking.

Physical Punishment

Parents often ask, "Should I spank my child?"

Many parents occasionally lose their patience or, in anger or fear, may spank their youngster. For instance, if a child runs out into the street, a parent may sweep the child up and, in a moment of anxiety for the child's well-being, spank her to emphasize the parent's sense of urgency or worry.

Spanking may relieve a parent's frustration for the moment and extinguish the undesirable behavior for a brief time. But it is the least effective way to discipline.

It is harmful emotionally to both parent and child.
Not only can it result in physical harm, but it teaches children that violence is an acceptable way to discipline or express anger.
While stopping the behavior temporarily, it does not teach alternative behavior.
It also interferes with the development of trust, a sense of security, and effective communication. (Spanking often becomes the method of communication.)
It also may cause emotional pain and resentment.
 
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