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So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?<br><br>
Is he okay with you dating?<br><br>
How soon after parting ways did you start dating?<br><br>
Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?<br><br>
If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun?<br><br><br>
My husband and I split back in September 2004. I started seeing somebody immediately after we split... okay, I left him for another man... but the marriage was already over, I tell ya'! My husband is very cool about me seeing other people. In fact, we have a FABULOUS relationship when it comes to issues like that.<br><br>
I've been seeing several different people the last couple months, and I've been very happy with that. I'm starting to develop more of a crush on one guy over the others. I definately see potential there. An Eagle scout, Bachelors degree, funny, eccentric, communicative, open, loves kids, etc.<br><br>
The other night, he and I were sitting in my room watching a movie. My 3 y/o son woke up, and came into my room wanting to snuggle with me (we still do modified cosleeping). The guy was totally cool with my 3 y/o chilling with us. My little man got to talking with this guy, and they were so cute having a conversation. He didn't seem uncomfortable with it at all. I really thought that was cool.
 

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Good thread idea! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?<br><br><b>It's been almost nine months</b><br><br>
Is he okay with you dating?<br><br><b>Unfortunately so; he's been very encouraging - but only because he's dating the girl he left me for... so anything to ease his guilt, ya know</b><br><br>
How soon after parting ways did you start dating?<br><br><b>I've only been interested in the last six weeks or so - so say eight months</b><br><br>
Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?<br><br><b>I'm kinda talking to one guy right now; but I'm so busy between full time nursing studies and Zoe - that having a shower is a luxury, never mind dating <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"></b><br><br>
If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun?<br><br><b>Very casual, we're just getting to know eachother; he states he's not in the market for a girlfriend, but we have a lot in common so I'm working to change his mind <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"></b></td>
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br><br><b>So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b><br>
I have been seperated 10 months<br><b>Is he okay with you dating?</b><br>
No, I left him and he's been begging for me to come back but I'm not going back this time<br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b><br>
3 days after I split I got with my bf<br><b>Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?</b><br>
I have stayed with the same man. I have had confustions about weither I should stay with him or not but we are slowly working things out, and it is really going great now.<br><b>If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun?</b><br>
I see real potential with my man. He is a wonderful guy, but my kids were the problem(with me anyway). He said that they were not a problem, but he wouldn't do anything with them, didn't want to do anything with me and the kids. But I live with my bf. He has been getting better. He now takes the kids to the park. I was so happy. I took a nap one day(I was sick) and I woke up to me kids running in my room screaming "Mommie, mommie, mommie....He took us to the park...He really really took us to the park."<br><br>
When we first got together my bf told me that he didn't want the kids calling him dad. Now let me explain.... He has 2 kids. His ex took the kids, married someone, and was prego in 3 months after he kicked her out. It hurt him because he did love her but after 4 years of cheating you can only take so much. His kids no longer call him dad, no matter how much time he spends with them. They tell him that they have a new daddy. That hurts him, even though he won't admit it. He hates my ex, but he doesnt think that any dad should have to go through that. He is a reall sensable guy.I could understand that, but after we were together for 6 months, I figured he would start getting a little closer to the kids. Well he wasn't. Didn't really help me out with them, didn't do anything with them or for them. They would ask him a question, his response would be "ask your mother", well... I really wanted to be with him. He is the greatest guy and I do love him, he makes me laugh, and all over just a great guy. But, no matter how much I love him, I have to be there for my kids? Thats why I was confused wheither I should stay with him or not. I sat down and talked with him one night(I was depressed and it was that time of the month and I had just got in a fight with my ex) and let it all out of how I felt. Well, he is doing absolutely great with the kids now. We still set the rule down though that he didn't want to be called dad, because it would hurt there real dad's feelings. So don't really know if that was a good reason or not, but I think the kids understood. But we've been together for 10 months now, and doing great. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<b>So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b><br>
5 years<br><br><b>Is he okay with you dating?</b><br>
Don't know, don't care. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I think he'll try to exercise his masculine/fatherly muscle one day if I get in a serious relationship. It wouldn't be out of jealousy over me, it would be more like him 'staking his territory' over the kids.<br><br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b><br>
3 years<br><br><b>Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?</b><br>
Haven't found a 'special someone' yet but I keep my radar up just incase.
 

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<b>So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b><br>
We officially split in Sept 2004 - right after ds2 was born, although we had been very shaky for months before that - he was spending longer and longer periods of time away from home - living with relatives while we "worked things out"<br><br><b>Is he okay with you dating?</b> He says he wants me and the boys to be happy, but he wishes we were happy WITH HIM. I think we will remain friends through this, though there will probably be some tense period if I do end up getting married (which is likely)<br><br><br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b><br>
about a year - I started doing some online dating (totally away from the kids) and saw a mutual friend of the ex for a little while (he hung out with us a couple times - but he had always been a "friend of the family" so it wasn't unusual for the kids to see him)<br><br><b><br>
Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?</b><br>
I'm seeing one specific person - for the last 7+ months<br><br><br><b>If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun?</b><br>
Definite potential - we've recently moved in together and are pretty much at that stage where he knows I'd say yes if he proposed, it's just a matter of him actually doing it.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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<b>So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b> It will be two years in May. We are still not legally divorced but I hope to be within the next month or so.<br><br><b>Is he okay with you dating?</b> Yes, he has a live-in girlfriend right now.<br>
He never really cared much about me dating ever, or at least didn't act like he cared.<br><br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b> I casually dated one guy a few weeks after we seperated, he was sort of a rebound guy - nothing serious. Then I waited until we were seperated for 4 mos or so and went on a few more dates with a couple of different guys. When we were seperated for 9 mos I got into a serious relationship with a guy I had been friends with for 5 mos. That was over a year ago.<br><br><b><br>
Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?</b> We've decided to take things slow until the divorce is final so I can deal with all of the emotions that come along with divorce. He's really sweet and a wonderful and supportive friend to me. I know we'll end up together, we're very compatible but I just want to do things the right way and let go of my "baggage" so we can have a healthy relationship.<br><br><br><br><b>If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun?</b> I defenitely see potential. We have a great time together and DS adores him. I've known him for a year and a half and we started out as friends and it grew from there. I care very much for him and he is very understanding and patient with me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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<b>So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b> A year and two months.<br><br><b>Is he okay with you dating?</b> He probably would be.<br><br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b> I have absolutely no interest in dating right now.
 

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We've been divorced for almost a year, separated for over 2.5. We have a good relationship and I'm sure he'd be fine with me dating but I have neither the time nor any interest in it. Ds and school take almost all of my time - any leftover goes purely to me, making sure I'm healthy. Besides, I wouldn't be comfortable having men I'm not serious with but who are potentially more than friends spending time with my son and he's with me during most of my non-school time.
 

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Long and winding road. I've got two with different dads. The dad's were very different catastrophe's with excellent end results. I have two gorgeous and wonderful son's. They are truly wonderful to raise and I'm so incredibly blessed. I've been a single mama the whole time...9 years. The dad's weren't ready to be dad's and had/ have issues to work out. My 9yo's dad has been trying the last few years since he put the bottle down, but he turned from bohemian alcoholic to dry pseudo republican...and he still doesn't get our lifestyle...go figure. My kids are in Waldorf and we really live an organic, media free, nature loving, arts enriched...life. It's good...but I'm often isolated. My 9 yo is very sensitive and his dad wants to tough him up...it's not working...it is traumatizing him, though. 9 yo visits him every other half week-end. My youngest's dad was a con-man who fooled me on the short term. Eventually I discovered that he was diagnosed as having a narcissistic personality disorder and is a frightening individual. He has supervised contact every other week for a couple hours with my 4 yo. I've had OFP's for very different situations in both cases. Both dad's like to carry on the drama in the court system since they can't abuse me directly. It's been a nightmare, but I'm navigating my way out of it and strengthening my support networks.<br><br>
So, I've found dating to be difficult. Trust is the biggest issue for me. I've learned to do it alone and expect very little help. The first person I dated was an old friend from HS. A gorgeous man with a grounding presence. It was that grounding presence that I found myself really leaning to. He's still a friend, but I couldn't see how we could work if he kept up his lifestyle...which was pretty ingrained (cigarettes, herb, rolling rock, mountain dew). I have a big bunch of love for the man, but it couldn't evolve into what my family and I need.<br><br>
I've been dating someone for a year and a half now. I have no regrets, it has been a great relationship, but I don't know if it is going to keep moving forward. He is younger than I (I'm 34, he's 28). He's not financially stable. He's got some emotional issues. It has been a healing relationship. I'm disappointed, though, that it's not evolving as I wish it would. As we've gotten to know one another, I've found so many wounds in him.<br><br>
I simply cannot be mother healer to anymore men. I mean, if it is a TRUE partnership and the flow of healing and nurturing is equal, I can. It's my nature, but after all I've been through, I just can't seem to feel like I can settle. My kids love the man I'm dating because he's...well, "uncle like". Father like is what is needed...but how does that happen? He's 28. He's not a father. How can I expect he'll magically carry that energy through the door one day? I don't really expect it. In fact, I've started to accept that it is unlikely. He tries, but it only goes so far. I know life is life and magic happens, but I wonder if it's meant to happen for me.<br><br>
I'm getting old yo. I want another child. I have days where I get really really depressed about my situation. Inviting Freud into the drama..I lost my dad to cancer last summer. He was a man of the fifties...grounded, real, eye contact, hand shake, neighborly, somewhat simple, loyal, responsible...a provider. I recognize in his absence that I will likely always seek those qualities. They don't seem to make 'em like that anymore.<br><br>
I'm feeling sad and disappointed in this arena. Yet, I have so much to be grateful for...so many blessings. If you spent a day with my gorgeous boys you would wonder why I would complain about anything. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>browneyedgirl</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm getting old yo. I want another child. I have days where I get really really depressed about my situation. Inviting Freud into the drama..I lost my dad to cancer last summer. He was a man of the fifties...grounded, real, eye contact, hand shake, neighborly, somewhat simple, loyal, responsible...a provider. I recognize in his absence that I will likely always seek those qualities. They don't seem to make 'em like that anymore.</div>
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They're out there. I've seen them. I, like you, for some reason tend to attract not those but those who need to be fixed. Which is part of the reason I'm staying far away from men right now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
It sounds as though you have made an incredible life for you and your boys. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
One thing - if I felt as certain as you seem to about having another baby, I'd probably do it on my own.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Dragonfly</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">They're out there. I've seen them. I, like you, for some reason tend to attract not those but those who need to be fixed. Which is part of the reason I'm staying far away from men right now. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
It sounds as though you have made an incredible life for you and your boys. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
One thing - if I felt as certain as you seem to about having another baby, I'd probably do it on my own.</div>
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I agree with Dragonfly 100% - they are out there and if you don't find one - have another baby on your own (if you want). Personally, I always attracted the loser-immature-needs-a-mamma-not-a-wife kind <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> I had pretty much resigned myself to being single and I was really ok with that - and then I met dbf and he just meshed right into my life.<br>
I was in the same spot - 2 kids, work, school, family time - where was a going to find time for a guy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"> - but, you know, when I met the right one, it actually wasn't all that hard. He blends in and actually decreases the stress level instead of adding to it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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<b>So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b><br><br>
Since September 2003.<br><br><b>Is he okay with you dating?</b><br><br>
As he lives 10,000 miles away, it is not an issue. Although, I doubt he minds. If he did, it would be his issue, not mine.<br><br><br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b><br><br>
I let him keep me on a tether for about 6 months after he walked out. Once the relationship was completely severed (he got a gf), I went on a date or two after about a few months. But, I wasn't ready and it was more just a fun, free dinner out with an adult for me.<br><br><b>Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?</b><br><br>
Yes, there is someone VERY special in my life right now.<br><br><b>If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun?</b><br><br>
There is absolute long-term potential with him.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">when I met the right one, it actually wasn't all that hard. He blends in and actually decreases the stress level instead of adding to it.</td>
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This is SOOOO true!!! It is incredible.
 

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So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)? We've been apart since I threw him out when he stole my money to smoke crack <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: when I was 12 weeks prego<br><br>
Is he okay with you dating? DOn't know, DOn't care. I haven't spoken to him since that day, he is uncooperative with my attorney, so I don't know.<br><br>
How soon after parting ways did you start dating? I was 12 weeks prego so I didn't start dating until I was 11 months post partum (and I was only looking at girls who all thought I must be straight if I had a child)<br><br>
Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?<br>
I am dating one very special wonderful person. We met while I was prego, never going to date again and constantly [email protected] about men and we'd been friends for months when he mentioned teaching DS how to canoe and swim and all this stuff just because he liked kids. He always came up and played with him as an infant. And it evolved into a crush and went from there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun? Do I see potential? Does a fish like water? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"> We're already talking about marriage and kids. DS called him daddy on our second date at 11 mos. old and despite trying to stop it, it never did. Now he tells ppl that he's his son and changes as many dirty diapers as I do <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> He has been the most wonderful thing for me and for DS and I can't believe I found him (And that he's male <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) We got really lucky, and he's helping me let go of the baggage I associate with men
 

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Just wanted to add......<br><br>
Last night I dreamt that George Clooney wanted to date me.<br>
So after that dream, I'll be good without a man for several more months!!!
 

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I've only been a single mama for just over a month.<br><br>
My ex would be ok with me dating...he's replaced me already, after all- but being the nosey cop he is, he'd check up on the guy..<br><br>
Im not seeing anyone, but I'd be open to a bit of fun should the chance arise...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mischievous.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="mischief"><br><br>
But one thing Ive always said, is that my dating life and my life I have with my kids will remain two separate realms unless I get really serious with someone. Thats my only rule.
 

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<b>So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b><br>
4 and a half months since I finally got up the courage to leave an awful situation.<br><b><br>
Is he okay with you dating?</b><br>
Nope, but to bad. He can't control me anymore. (I'm a bit angry with him right now, can you tell?)<br><br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b><br>
Very soon. That's sort of the way I am though. X and I started dating 3 days after my previous BF and I broke up.<br><br><b>Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?</b><br>
One person.<br><br><b>If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun?</b><br>
I see alot of potential with him. DC adore him, and he's wonderful with them. He treats me right, (woo!) my mom likes him, and he's been sticking with me through all the craziness.
 

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<b>how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b><br>
DS Dad and I have been apart for 3 years. DD Dad and I have been apart for 16 months.<br><br><b>Is he okay with you dating?</b> I don't think either would care.<br><br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b> I started dating DD's Dad a little over a year after DS Dad and I split. And I have been apart from DD's Dad since her birth so it's been 16 months and I have no desire to date.<br><br><b>Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?</b> I'm not dating.<br><br>
If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun? NOPE!
 

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So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?<br><br>
Since May 2000<br><br>
Is he okay with you dating?<br><br>
He died this past December, so N/A<br><br>
How soon after parting ways did you start dating?<br><br>
I dated very, very casually pretty quickly... as in, I went out on dates, had fun, had sex.. but I did not "date" anyone and not a single one of those men where ever around my daughter. In October 2004 I started exclusively seeing a man that I had knew fairly well socially for about six years.<br><br>
Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?<br><br>
I'm still with that man.<br><br>
If you are seeing somebody right now, do you see potential with them, or are you just taking things day by day and having fun?<br><br>
I see potential <i>and</i> I'm taking things day by day. I'm beginning to believe that he is the man I want to marry. It has taken me a long time to reach that level. We have taken things extremely slowly. Even though we've known one another's respective children since they were infants and our children were already friends, we dated for about nine months before we started spending time with the kids. It was another three or four months until we started spending overnights with the kids. It was another two or three months after that that we started sleeping in the same bed when the kids were present. We don't live together and I don't see that happening anytime sooner than the next year, at the least. I am a huge proponent of not involving the kids until the relationship is very, very solid and for me that means time. Lots and lots of time. We have only recently reached a sort of new level where we are trading off babysitting at times, doing favors for each other, and becomming more a part of each other's regular rountines. Up until recently, we only really saw each other on the weekends (we both WOH full time). Its slowly and steadily increasing to weekends and a night or two during the week. I gave him the key to my place in November and that was a huge, huge deal for me. My daughter has recently begun to display a lot of attachment towards him, as his kids have for me (his little boy told me he loves me!) and it scares me.. in a healthy, keep myself grounded kind of way. We don't display physical affection much towards one another around the kiddos. We sleep fully clothed. My daughter interprets us sleeping in the same bed as the same thing as when she has a sleepover with her best friend and they sleep in the same bed. She doesn't see us as a couple. What she and his kids do see is a man and a woman who are extremely kind, thoughtful, gentle, and helpful towards one another. We share household/child rearing responsibilites when we are together. We never bicker, we never fight, we never get impatient with eachother.. and I think that is due to taking things so slowly has allowed us to get to know one another extremely well and has totally grounded our expectations of one another. I am really, really glad that our kids are getting to see what I feel is a fantastic example of how partners should treat each other. But on the real, I am head over heels in love with this man and I hope we have a lifetime together. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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<b>So, how long have you been split from your child's father (if ever together in the first place)?</b> I left DS's dad 2 years, 3 months, 4 weeks, and 6 days ago. But who's counting? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I seriously just counted... I wouldn't have known that off the top of my head!<br><br><b>Is he okay with you dating?</b> I have no clue. If we were talking that would be one of those forbidden topics. I know he's had 1 gf since I left (at least).<br><br><b>How soon after parting ways did you start dating?</b> I still haven't. Just haven't found anyone dateworthy (the first year after I left ex I just did a lot of thinking so I probably wouldn't have dated anyone during that time anyway).<br><br><b>Are you dating one special person, or are there several people you're seeing?</b> I am talking to one guy. He seems like a lot of fun and we have some great conversations.... but he's a couple states away.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Shonahsmom</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What she and his kids do see is a man and a woman who are extremely kind, thoughtful, gentle, and helpful towards one another. We share household/child rearing responsibilites when we are together. We never bicker, we never fight, we never get impatient with eachother.. and I think that is due to taking things so slowly has allowed us to get to know one another extremely well and has totally grounded our expectations of one another. I am really, really glad that our kids are getting to see what I feel is a fantastic example of how partners should treat each other. But on the real, I am head over heels in love with this man and I hope we have a lifetime together. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"></div>
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That sounds like heaven Shonahsmom!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 
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