Letter to a Regretful Mother --

Hiya, folks. After reading all the heartbreaking stories in the "If you regret circumsizing your son(s), please post here" thread, I thought I'd post something I wrote a while back.

Years ago, in another forum, a mother just like yourselves was putting herself through hell because of her guilt over this. Her feelings of regret and despair were starting to poison her relationship with her child, and she asked for assistance. I wrote the response below in the hopes that it would help her, and to our shared relief and happiness, it did.

Since then I've reposted it several times elsewhere, and it's always helped other mothers then as well.

I hope you find it helpful too, even if just a little bit.

Oh, and just for the record -- though I expect this might not mean much, because I'm not your sons, I think that you deserve to hear it anyways -- I FORGIVE YOU.

Letter To A Regretful Mother --

Please don't beat yourself up over this. . .there's a lot more that goes into making a child happy and successful than just this one decision. . . .

Am I angry that my foreskin was amputated in my infancy? You betcha! Do I blame my parents? No way! "Hate the sin, love the sinner."

I reserve my anger for the AAP, who misinform the public, and for those who are educated on the topic and still support and perform the unnecessary genital amputation of children.

I'm sure there are many, many wonderful things you've done for your son, too. . .always remember that you have to fill both sides of the balance with their appropriate measures before making your judgement. I wouldn't be caring for my father now if he hadn't done a good job raising me; I would NEVER trade his love and the good example he set for me in exchange for having my foreskin back.

Also remember that it's your son's body. . .so it's his right to decide how he feels about it. If you believe genital amputation violates that right, then isn't his opinion the expression of that right? If he says he's okay, it's okay.

You're not alone in regretting it. There are parents here who feel just like you do. . .and (correct me if I'm wrong, anybody) they say it doesn't overshadow everything else in their relationship with their children. Besides, if you didn't love him so much, would it upset you so much? I'd choose all that love along with a little speck of regret over less love and no regret at all any day. . .and in fact, I do so every day.

Love your son and be joyful about it!

Ack!
Non Illegitimi Carborundum, and KOT!