Libido (or libidon't?)

774 Views 12 Replies 9 Participants Last post by *Amy*, Jul 8, 2004

Amy

Discussion Starter · Jun 21, 2004

I am just wondering about the experiences of other women in terms of your interest in sexual adventures these days. I am surprised to find I have essentially no sexual desire lately, and things that used to turn me on are dangerously close to grossing me out. I am feeling bad for my husband and I'm hoping that this is a phase that will pass soon!

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Chiku

· #2 · Jun 21, 2004

Uhhh, yeah, consider me in the same boat. I am trying to work up the energy and interest, but having extreme trouble. And yet, last night, I had a really racy dream. But in the waking hours, I feel tired, queasy, moody, and fat. Not very mood-inducing!

This is my first baby, so I don't speak from experience, but I've heard that a lot of women (but not all) get a major surge in libido in the 2nd tri--the mythical magical "golden trimester."

Let's cross our fingers and hope so!

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LianneM

· #3 · Jun 22, 2004

For the first, oh, two weeks or so of pgcy I had ABSOLUTELY no interest. What was funny was that my DH didn't either. We talked about it after like 2 weeks of NOTHING and we both said we had no interest, and we figured it was a nature thing for both - that maybe he was reacting to my changing hormones or something.

We've had sex 4 or 5 times since then, and a couple of them have been.. um... incredible. Things are DEFINITELY different, but it's been great for both. My interest is definitely down from what it "normally" is, but at this point, once a week is good and if it's quality, even better.

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Christi

· #4 · Jun 22, 2004

I have zero interest at the moment. Now with my last preg I couldn't get enough!!! I was wearing my hubby out

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HelloKitty

· #5 · Jun 22, 2004

Looks like I'm in the minority.... I can't get enough....

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happymamajenni

· #6 · Jun 23, 2004

During my last pregnancy we had sex at least 3-4 times a week up until the last couple weeks when it tapered off a little. I found that my sex drive was really high and so we took advantage of it. After I gave birth I had almost no libido, and that continued through conceiving this one. It was SO HARD trying to conceive a baby with a really low sex drive. Now I my sex drive is really high, and I really don't know what I'm going to do if I get to the point I was before I got pregnant again. I was really depressed about the low sex drive and no matter what I tried, nothing helped.

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TwinMom

· #7 · Jun 23, 2004

I have had a really low sex drive since my LAST pregnancy. I think partly is was from being so sick and then my libido stayed low due to breastfeeding. Well, now I'm breastfeeding AND pregnant so NO WAY do I want my husband near me! Seriously, we've only had sex once since we conceived. It's hard for him, I know, but if I try to force myself I have to vomit. NOt exactly a sexy image, right? I'm hoping that after my nausea has gone (last time it was gone at 22 weeks) I will be able to at least fake some interest.

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kater07

· #8 · Jun 24, 2004

I am in the same boat, and from what I've read, this is 100% normal. those with active, sexual 1st trimesters are the abnormal ones. Tell DH to have fun in the shower for a while. It won't hurt him to leave you alone for this part of pregnancy.

All that said hoping you all have husbands who are understanding and sympathetic to the pregnant woman in their lives. My DH thinks that all this queasiness and the gag reflex at the thought of any kind of sex is in my head. gee thanks!

Anywho, we can all hope that the 2nd trimester gives us more energy and some libido back. It didn't happen for me last time, but ...

Hugs all!

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HelloKitty

· #9 · Jun 25, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by kater07
I am in the same boat, and from what I've read, this is 100% normal. those with active, sexual 1st trimesters are the abnormal ones.

Hey!! I think you called me abnormal!!!!

That hurts...

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Amy

Discussion Starter · #10 · Jul 6, 2004

This is a little odd, and possibly TMI, but...

I think I'm finally returning to normal in terms of wanting intimacy again, but while making love with DH the other night, I just could not get lubricated enough, even after an orgasm. I was very excited, but it just wasn't working like it normally does. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm not opposed to using KY or something, but it was just really fricking weird.

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happymamajenni

· #11 · Jul 8, 2004

Earlier I said my sex drive was high........well, it's not anymore! I told my hubby the other day that I am so tired during the day that if he wants sex he's going to have to ask me to go to bed at 9:30pm because I'm just too tired by 10:30/11pm to start anything then. Last night I went upstairs to brush my teeth and he followed me up to brush his. Then he disappeared into the bedroom, and when I came out of the bathroom I noticed all the lights were off downstairs. I went into our room and he was under the covers with a smile on his face. I said, "I really wanted to watch my show tonight!" and his smile faded, but I gave up my show.

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tug

· #12 · Jul 8, 2004

amy - i've had that too. try a lubricant. it helps. and, having it around, i don't worry about "oh, now it's dry and that's bad and what's wrong and what can i do and now it's dryer because i'm worrying so i should stop worrying.....[don't think about the pink elephant]"

we're down to one time a week but we try to focus on quality and that seems to help him deal with the lack of quantity. our counselor said that that is often the case. as quality of interaction improves, both members of the couple stop focusing on quantity.

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Amy

Discussion Starter · #13 · Jul 8, 2004

Quote:

"oh, now it's dry and that's bad and what's wrong and what can i do and now it's dryer because i'm worrying so i should stop worrying.....[don't think about the pink elephant]"

Exactly! LOL!

DH is being very good about it; I think he's trying really hard to be understanding, but it is a pretty radical change for us. We're newlyweds, for crying out loud! :LOL And it's not just sex; it's the intimacy in general he misses. I haven't been wanting to cuddle (or even be touched, for that matter) at night so I think he's feeling a bit left out of the picture. It's *really* hard for me not to be selfish right now, but I am realizing today (since I'm not an emotional basket case like I was yesterday) that he's been SO GREAT at dealing with me, my moods, my needs, etc. - and that can't be easy!

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