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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Okay, I appreciate that people want to help me. I really do. But I have not yet figured out how they are helping me when they yell/chastise me for lifting things they believe to be too heavy.<br><br>
1. I am not stupid; I know what I can lift.<br>
2. I am not helpless; if I think I can lift something I will<br>
3. I don't know you; WHY do you think you can be so overly familiar as to reprimand me.<br>
4. I am NOT a child; don't treat me like one.<br><br>
I mean, geeeezzz! It was a flat of water bottles. Yes, it's heavy, but not any heavier than my 22 month old, and I lifted it correctly, k? I vaguely remember this with ds1, when I waited tables til 39 weeks. People would tell me I shouldn't be carrying all those dishes as I cleared their tables...they sure didn't comment when I showed up with the same dishes, but full of food! All they did then was ask for their drink they had wanted refilled when the meal came...cause I have 8 hands and can do that at the EXACT same moment, ya know. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"><br><br>
Ahhhh....it feels better to get that off my chest. I finally told the checkout lady that it was okay if I went into labor as I was 39 weeks. When everything was back in the cart she was still cavalier enough to say, "Jenny (the bagger) will help you out with this," instead of "would you like help out with this." Grrrr...:LOL
 

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Sorry. I know how annoying that can be. Why do people have to treat pregnancy as something other than normal?<br><br>
I'm only 13 weeks, but already my MIL didn't want me to help carry in her groceries from the car. I guess it's okay for me to carry mine, but not anyone else's <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I hear ya <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I hear ya!<br><br>
My stock response is "I know my limits". And since I have two very healthy kids in tow almost 100% of the time, people very rarely argue with that.<br><br>
Of course, when someone is really being annoying - "where were you 7 months ago when I was trying to get out the door without puking?" can be good, too.<br><br>
And the all-purpose incredulous "EXCUSE ME?!" is particularly useful when a stranger is involved.
 

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I used to get the same reaction when my 3 1/2 year old (my velcro boy, now 20 :LOL ) would want me to pick him up. Hey, my second pregnancy was the best, maybe it was all that "weight" lifting. But my mother would freak about it.<br><br>
Like you said, you know what you can lift...<br><br>
I hope your homebirth is AWESOME!
 

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A mother of 11 is always telling me dont lift that, its too heavy. Shell even call me on the phone to remind me not to pick up a chest of milk ( We take turns getting farm fresh milk) :LOL<br><br><br>
A dr that I had for a short time during my first pregnancy told me I could do anything I was use to doing before pregnancy.<br><br>
I find that the more active and doing hard work the better I felt. Heck, I was weedwhipping and using a chain saw at 35 +weeks.<br><br>
I really think most preggo women know and do what they feel they can do.
 

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the exact same thing happened to me! I was at the grocery store and the cashier paged a bag boy to her lane to push my cart out and put the flat of water bottles in my car! But then again it was kind of nice to be able to take it easy... at least the cashier wasn't condescending about it- just trying to be nice I think.
 

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This annoys the heck out of me too. A couple weeks ago some woman had the nerve to tell me I was "endangering" myself and my child by being at a Gem and Mineral Show! Hello!?! I wasn't even picking up anything! What a freak! She got the "EXCUSE ME, DO I KNOW YOU!?!?!" response I save for people who really piss me off!<br><br>
I do wish the people at my grocery store would have the bag boy carry my stuff out. I bought almost 40 lbs of ice the other day, and no one even asked if I needed help. Noseyness is one thing, but offering to help carry 40 lbs of ice would have been nice!
 

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Oh man do I remember that! I was working retail-walmart, sadly enough, when I got pregnant and stayed right into the 8th month. So imagine a teeny little thing who has gained at least 50 pounds, all in the belly, straight out, and imagine the horror of my customers as I'm happily climbing ladders to get 30lb safes off of top shelves for them, rearranging shelving(which includes hauling it alla round the huge store), lugging boxes of merchandise around, using the helium tanks to blow up balloons.... :LOL Some of the reactions were pretty funny.<br>
But you know? I had a good pregnancy, and a very simple straightforward birth, and I'm convinced that all that excercise helped.
 

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I know what you guys mean about the reprimanding tone, or being treated like a child. However, I actually like being waited on and taking it easy. I just let people do it for me. I mean, why not. Probably won't be another time in my life when people will be so eager to do things for me.<br><br>
Though, it can get a little annoying at times, like when MIL won't let me get up to do anything. I wonder what she thinks I do all day at home with dd. Have dd carry up the load of laundry from the basement? I think not.
 

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I'm with Marysmom . . . I completely accept all offers of help. As far as the condescending tone, I let EVERYONE know that this isn't my 1st child (people assume it is when DD isn't with me) and that tends to shut them up fast. (I don't have any problems with people I know.) Usually, though, I find that most people could care less that I am PG (and since I'm only 20 weeks, no one can tell), and I'm OK with that, too.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Oh yea, don't get me wrong -- I would have been more than happy if someone had said, "here, let me get that for you," but to TELL me I should NOT have done that...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> -- this is the second or third time in the last couple weeks I've been "reprimanded" this way! I guess I bring out their maternal instinct?? :LOL I don't think I look that young anymore -- they never card me when I buy dh's beer.<br><br>
As long as they don't go so far as to actually shake their finger at me, I'll probably just use some of the more subtle come backs -- although I like some of the more pointed ones...we'll see if I'm still <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/belly.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="belly"> next week; I may not be feeling so nice! :LOL
 

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Gosh, I WISH someone would offer to help (other than the clerks at Trader Joes). I am having a easy pregnancy and although I am naturally a very strong person, I have a horrible back and I do feel stress in my abs when I am lifting. The weight of the baby is doing a number on my front and back and even feel pain in my front from lifting at time. Yoga is helping with that, but at times I DO feel helpless despite what I thought my dream pregnancy would be.<br><br>
I say, appreciate the help that is offered to you. If you can do it, fine, but dont be hostile to those that care.
 

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Uhh. I have to :LOL<br><br>
My dh wouldn't let me lift anything over 10 pounds when he found out I was preg with Dar.<br><br>
Less then a year later, I'm preg with Dar #2, and I'm on my own<br><br>
I miss being annoyed about people wanting to help <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
(He did make dinner, do dishes, and bake a cake tonight so I could get some extra zzz's though. How sweet)<br><br><br>
Katie
 

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These people mean well, that is just what they think. So far I have told my MIL that it is not true that I can lift anything I want until I am worn out. She accepts this and let me lift whatever it was I was lifting.<br><br>
My plan is to either let someone else lift it for me if they offer or it I feel like lifting it I will tell them that it is fine for pg women to lift objects.
 

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I figure that since the pushy women obviously have control issues, they're probably thinking that if it were them, they would not be able to stop at their limit unless someone forced them to.<br><br>
Pushy men are hearing voices from their past initiation as a male in our society casting aspersions on them for simply being unencumbered in the presence of a pregnant woman who is lifting something. I think I was a tremendous motivational force for dh and his friends who helped us move when I was 6 mos pg. Every time they saw me with a (quite manageable) box they would go on about how I shouldn't be carrying that and then grab a large piece of furniture to carry solo up the 4 flights of stairs. They were all in pain by the end of the day, while I felt fine. Hmmm...
 
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