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Discussion Starter #1
I'm not one to normally limit dd's nursing. She's 21 months old and still nurses in public, at night, all day (probably a good 12 times a day). However recently, maybe due to teething (I think she's getting canines), she has dramatically increased the duration of her nursing sessions so much so that I have sore nipples.<br><br>
I have cut her off a few times after a long nursing session (probably a half hour or more) and it does NOT go over well. I try to rub her back or feet, but she thrashes and kicks. I try to rock her and sing to her but she screams to the point of gagging.<br><br>
On one hand, I don't want to teach her that if she screams and kicks long enough, I'll give in. I also don't want to be sore and resent her nursing. I would like her to know that there are other ways for me to comfort her. And it's a little annoying when I sit down to eat dinner and I giver her a plate of food, but she won't eat and just wants to nurse. I've been making her wait until I'm done eating...<br><br>
At the same time, I feel guilty for denying her the one thing she wants. I love her and I'd do anything for her, shouldn't I just deal with feeling irritated and sore and being chair/bed ridden for long periods of time so she can be happy? And all those stress hormones pumping through her body can't be healthy.<br><br>
Eeek, mama guilt.<br><br>
The tantrums that have been happening as a result lately are horrible, too.<br><br>
Any ideas? I've been calmly telling her the nursies need a break because they're sore, but that doesn't seem to work. After an insane amount of screaming when all the comforting in the world is not helping, I've been telling her somewhat firmly that she needs to stop screaming because it will hurt her throat (not to mention my sanity...) It sounds mean, but it has helped a couple times, but only after a LOT of screaming and I'd rather do things in the most gentle, consensual, loving way possible.<br><br>
(I'm not trying to wean her so I thought it would be okay for me to post this here, but if it needs to be moved I apologize).
 

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Boy, I could have almost written your post, about my boy born just a couple weeks earlier than your daughter! The similarities in our children astound me.<br><br>
I have good days and bad days with nursing lately, but I have found some success in letting DS begin nursing whenever he wants, and as soon as I start feeling discomfort in any fashion, I gently tell him that Mommy is done. If I don't put him off to start with, he is generally happy to agree that we are done, and climb down and go back to playing. Exceptions to this would be when he's very ready to sleep...he still likes to nurse to sleep and will get very upset if I cut him off early before he's asleep.<br><br>
DS has been one to cry himself to gagging/throwing up since a very early age, like you are mentioning, if I didn't soothe him fast enough, so I've always been extra careful to avoid screaming fits. And DS is getting especially good at tantrums lately, perfecting the "flop on the ground and throw the head back" type of fit. So I can understand why you're trying to avoid that situation, to keep your daughter from hurting herself.<br><br>
I'll be watching this thread for more ideas. I wish I had more solutions to try. But for now I'm just letting him pick when to nurse, and ending it within minutes if I have to.
 

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She nurses freely during the day and night. I always let her nurse whenever she wants. I wish that helped.<br><br>
It has been mostly at night. I'll lie with her (she's in our bed) and nurse her for a very long time and I'll either A) decide she's not really going to sleep because she keeps kicking her feet and talking (in between nursings of course) or B) she actually seems like she's asleep or just about asleep so I unlatch her... That's when the screaming starts. It happend a few times yesterday, plus she's been throwing fits just in general more lately and trying to figure out how to use the potty (which she has taken to very well, but she can't quite figure out the pooping thing so she drags me to the potty, gets mad and says she's done, and then we do that back and forth every 2 couple minutes for a half hour until she goes on the floor...)<br><br>
I swear, the neighbors must think we torture her with how much she has been screaming lately. And then I sound so cold-hearted by saying "you've been screaming all day, can you please stop screaming!" but seriously, that's how I feel. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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IME it's the age. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Try to figure out WHY it's hurting. Is her latch off? Is she looking around? And fix that.<br><br>
It sounds like she really NEEDS to be nursing a lot like that.<br><br>
hang in there.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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It'll get better! Find out why it's hurting, though. Work with your daughter to be sure she's latched on correctly (they get bigger and, imo, more lazy, er, relaxed in their latch).<br><br>
It WILL get better. You describe my LIFE in nursing for so much.<br><br>
I post this a lot, but I found the answer to dealing with intolerable intensity in Maya's need to nurse was "yes nah-nah days." I would announce to her that no matter what, unless I'm driving or pooping, I would immediately say YES and JUMP over to her to nurse as SOON as she asked on a "yes nah nah" day. I'd emphasize how I wouldn't say no, "no matter what."<br><br>
Usually on those days, she'd barely want to nurse at all after testing it out a couple times. PHEW!!!<br><br>
Again, it'll get better! You're obviously listening to her needs!<br><br>
--Heather
 
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