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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
i'm going to relay this without name-calling because it is against the u/a but know that it is difficult.<br><br>
dan-o and i went to the movie last night at 8.15 to a long show. bk took the kids to his place. i offered that he could bring them back to my place to put them to bed (they don't have a bed/room/anything at his place) since they've been going down around 9. while i was out he attempted to get onto my laptops (going so far as to text me during the movie for the password). this morning i found out from parker that he had miss bk (the woman he left me for) over to MY HOUSE while i was gone. IN MY BEDROOM. WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. i don't even know how to confront him about this. what a giant invasion of my privacy.
 

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Whoa, crazy. I let exdh put ds to sleep at my house in the beginning as well since he was not doing overnights yet. Sometimes I let him watch ds at my house still, but I always hide my laptops.<br><br>
And sorry, I would throw up to think that my ex had sex with someone else in my house. He had enough sex with other women while we were married, why would he still have to be so cruel?
 

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Wow sweetie I am so sorry! It seems you really try but he is making your efforts difficult.
 

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Snarky-dudette, Are you saying/thinking/knowing that they DTD in your bedroom or are we all jumping to conclusions here? Maybe you need a lock for your bedroom door. Maybe you should be text msging him when you think it is likely they are having sex, something like "Hey, where's my child support?" Text him that around 10:30 every night.<br><br>
I hate it when other people's lives make my blood boil. I feel the steam shooting out of my ears as I type. Can we have a massive, country-wide "Let's clue BK into reality" intervention before I bust a gasket?
 

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I'm just speechless. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw"> oh wow. that is unbelievable. if he wants to play house with her he should set up a bedroom for the kids so they have their own space at his house.<br>
Time to install the electric-shock doorknobs in case he tries to access anywhere in your house, and perhaps a Nanny-cam.<br><br>
Can you cut off visits at your house when you are not there? I can imagine the kids probably like it at your place better, but they won't be well off if their mom is going bananas when bk and abk pull things like this.<br><br>
And what sort of a loser texts someone on a date to ask for their computer password?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake">:
 

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Oh EW. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banghead.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banghead">:<br><br>
I went so far as to disassemble my bed so my ex and his gf couldn't sleep or cuddle or dtd on it before I could move it out of the old place.<br><br>
Freaking ew. UGH. What a UAV.
 

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Ugh. Do yourself a favor and keep your home your sacred, peaceful space that doesn't have his or her energy in it. It's sooo much better that way. Find another babysitter. I think it's good if you show that when he breaks your boundaries, your boundaries tighten up. His forcing things will and should only taken away what he can do. I would love to flash ahead 10 years and see where these men are at? They can only * around for so long before they start looking like middle aged children. Lets see how well they pull it off then.<br><br>
I'm so sorry msbk was in your room. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> That totally sucks. Especially as a mom who doesn't get to have everything just so.
 

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I would calmly tell him this is the last straw. When he has the kids, he has the kids,<br>
no more visitation in your home. He crossed the line, and lost the privilege. There<br>
is <b>NO REASON</b> for Miss bk to be in your home, and most definitely in your bedroom,<br>
NONE! Huge violation of trust.<br><br>
I don't care if they had sex there, or he wanted to show her what beautiful drapes you<br>
have, <b>she shouldn't be invited into your home without your permission.</b> It's f'in<br>
unreal how entitled R acts. Personally I think R and my ex (also an R) should be best<br>
friends. They'd get along great I think. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SillyLilStinkweed</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9867237"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I think it's good if you show that when he breaks your boundaries, your boundaries tighten up.</div>
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</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="dropjaw">:puke:puke:puke<br><br>
Ok, he is really, well I can't say it, but boy he has no respect, regard, empathy, nothing for you or your kids. He has lost his f'in mind. I am not sure what I would do in this situation, I would, in no uncertain terms let him no that she is never allowed to be in your home again, ever. Is there anyone who can also be at your house when he is there if you have to leave him there? It is better for your kids to be at their own house. I wouldn't leave him alone.<br><br>
This is the start of laying crap on your kids, she will have the burden of whether to tell you or not, knowing that you should know but not wanting to hurt you and also not wanting to disappoint her dad. Nip it, I know you will...ugh, he and the balls on her too, coming to your HOME!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
i confronted him about it and thank g*d he didn't lie and compound the situation, though he did try to spin it...<br><br>
the reason miss bk was over at my house was to pick up their DOG that was also at my house (because they got in trouble at <i>their</i> apartment for it <b>barfing</b>/barking). "it was a logistical thing, she just stopped by to get the dog and parker invited her in to see her bedroom..." oh really? is that all? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
i told him he's not to come over/in without calling/knocking and he's certainly not to have <b>any</b>one over without my permission. i told him it was a huge violation of my privacy and that i expect the same courtesy from him that i expect from everyone. NOT OK.<br><br>
what the heck is he thinking? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
and fwiw i never really suspected that they did the deed at my house...the whole idea is disgusting but honestly, nothing would shock me.
 

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I'm confused...why was their dog at your house anyway??? They got in trouble with THEIR landlord, why in the world is it YOUR problem? The nerve. I agree with PP, he has some serious boundary issues. Complete disregard for the fact that you now have a life SEPERATE from him, that does not and will not involve him. I can't wait for you to see him in court.<br><br>
I know it is probably convenient for you to have him watch the kids at your house. In the future I think that is one of the things you should specify in your eventual parenting plan-he needs to have a place for them to lay their sweet heads to sleep, and not put the entire burden of providing them a home on you (even though he doesn't give you any money<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:!!!).<br><br>
I have been reading about your saga for a while and never posted, I just wanted to exclaim at this latest bit of craziness. I really appreciate your stories, sadly, they make my drama seem paler in comparison. My heart goes to you, but I have to say if all of this should happen to anyone, it is a good thing it happened to you. I don't know of too many people who would have handled it with the grace and growth you have. Cheers and hugs to you, you are an incredible woman.
 

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Just came over from your blog to offer a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: at bk. A finger too.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Synthea™</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9870775"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Just came over from your blog to offer a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: at bk. A finger too.</div>
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and a few <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss">*%&^$#<br><br>
BTW, has he been served yet?
 

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Wait, he spends <i>how</i> much time with your kids and he has the time/energy/$$$ to have a <b>dog</b>? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
(Note that I didn't say "his" kids--technically, yes, but parenthood is as parenthood does in my book.)<br><br>
And yeah, has he been served yet?
 
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