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ds is starting the EI process for sensory issues and dp has just started realizing that he may very well have something like Aspergers as he reads over characteristcs and learns more about SPD and ASD.

Dp has always been labeled as "an a-hole" by peers (co-workers, classmates), but everyone who knows him well (me and his family) thinks of him as a very kind person. He has a hard time making eye contact with people he doesn't know extremely well. Everytime he starts a new job he feels like it is totally overwhelming getting to know all of the new people and tries to find jobs where he can just work by himself. He "has a low tolerance for incompetence" as he says and gets frustrated with people easily. He has a hard time handling stress and his emotions and could never be in social situations (like parties) in school/college without drinking/being stoned. He would rather stay home and play video games than go hang out with other people. He is very intelligent (the most intelligent person I know really.) He has told me "I just don't get anything out of hanging out with people" He told me the only person he has ever been able to relate to or enjoy being with is myself and our son.

I just wonder, what is there to be done (he is 26) with this realization so late in life? I love him dearly and I feel like we have a great relationship. He has such strong character and is the most trustworthy and honest person I've ever known. I just accept his quirks as who he is. It can be challenging sometimes to get him to understand when I am going through difficult emotions (like those that go along with post-partum baby blues or if I'm emotional after a hard day at work.)

For those of you who have a partner who has actually been diagnosed as aspie does my dp seem similar to yours? Does actually attaching a label to it help/hurt? What are the challenges you face and what are some ways to help them out in social situations? Are you worried that because your partner has the traits that your children will (do) as well? What is it like to have your whole family have SPD or ASD traits?
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