[Brigianna]

Many autistic people would reject the description of ourselves as "sufferers" or of our condition as a "disorder," fwiw.

I am an autistic woman married to a non-autistic man.

 

[Brigianna]

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Originally Posted by Pookietooth Yeah, how do you tell the difference between an Aspie and a jerk? I know my dh has a lot of Aspie traits, and Sensory issues, but it's hard to say definitely if he has it. I guess a doctor needs to diagnose it?

No, a doctor doesn't need to diagnose it. Many autistics are self-diagnosed. Being autistic is not about being "a jerk." Click the rainbow ribbon in my sig.

 

[Brigianna]

Okay. One last time: I do not care what anyone says about her spouse. I don't know any of y'all's spouses. That's not my concern. But when you make negative statements about how 'Aspies' are, about "sufferers" and "disorders," you are talking about me, and you are talking about my child. Think about that, when you're talking about 'Aspies,' you're talking about my seven-year-old child.

 

[Brigianna]

Many autistics would not consent to be treated the way the autistic man in "An Asperger Marriage" was treated. For what it's worth, to consider, if using that book as a guide.

 

[Brigianna]

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Originally Posted by ex-stasis I'm not sure if you're referring to some specific thing that Gisela did... the only thing I really found over-the-top was her breaking of dishes and an excessive amount of nagging and hypervigilance. But it seemed to work for their family. Unless Chris was coerced into writing what he wrote in the book, he seems okay with how he is treated in the marriage--happy, even. That said, I did read opinions similar to yours on Amazon when I was checking the book out and have taken that into consideration.

No doubt. And that is his choice. How they choose to live their own lives is their own business. But many autistics would not consent to that kind of treatment. I know that I would not--not now, anyway. People with typical sensory perception probably do not understand how cruel it really is to yell at a noise-sensitive person. I would rather be hit than yelled at any day. Other people are different, of course, but I would forewarn anyone who expects that her own autistic husband would respond the way he did.

 

[Brigianna]

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Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie Does anyone know of a kind, compassionate article describing what its like to be an adult Aspie from an Aspie's point of view that I could share with DH? He is so conflicted between trying to meet his needs and trying to meet the needs of his family and he varies between being so angry at us and so angry at himself.

www.neurodiversity.com and www.autistics.org have some excellent articles written by autistic adults.

You could also ask some of the autistic adult mamas here on MDC. There are a few of us.

 

[Brigianna]

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Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie Thank you. I have been searching those sites for several hours now. There is a lot of good information, but I'm having trouble finding an article about relationships from an aspie's perspective. (There's LOTS of stuff from an NT's perspective). Does anyone know of one they are familiar with?

Okay, not an article, but have you read the novel "Celestial Navigation" by Anne Tyler? It's about an autistic man (the word "autistic" isn't used, but it's pretty obvious) married to a non-autistic woman. The narrative alternates between his perspective and hers. This may sound odd, but it was actually informative to me about the ways that certain autistic mannerisms may be frustrating to a non-autistic spouse.

 

[Brigianna]

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Originally Posted by gibsonsmom You should go to the National Institute of Mental Health website to get a concise definition of Pervasive Developmental Disorders, which is the actual umbrella that the Autism spectrum is under. Aspergers has become the new AHDH in the special education field and many people are quick to jump on the bandwagon as a way to explain behaviors in children and adults which they don't like. There are many people who really live with this and they live totally normal and fulfilling lives, Aspergers is rarely debilitating in anyway and can only be diagnoses by a professional, it is also subjective as there is no one test for any of the spectrum disorders, only a set of characteristics which in combination can be labeled as such. You should be very careful to assume someone is on the spectrum without any diagnostic evaluations having been made. Sorry to ramble, too many years working with autistic kids has made it easy for me to blather on about this. Anyhoo, there is a good link below: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publi...ion.shtml#pub2 Good luck.

It is also subjective in that many autistic people don't believe it is a disorder. Yes, we do lead fulfilling lives--even if not quite normal.

Many Aspergic adults are self-diagnosed due to the relatively recent recognition of Asperger autism.

Going to NIMH for concise information about ASCs is like going to the Vatican for concise information about Lutheranism.