[MamaQuest]

So, I'm only 12 weeks pregnant right now, but feel very strongly that this time, my husband and I need to walk this road with just the two of us, God, and our newest little one on the way. This is #6 for us, #3 homebirth, and it's been a very educational journey to get to this point.

However, I'm finding, instead of reading birth boards and forums like crazy, savoring every moment of the less-than-easy pregnancy as I've done in the past, researching every little thing to death as I've done before, I'm instead feeling kind of like, what is there left? I have no one to share the joy of being pregnant with other than my husband and my children. I have no doctor's or midwives' appointments to talk with my friends about, no sharing the joy of hearing that first heartbeat, etc.

Everyone I know already is well aware that I am going to have all my future children at home, barring complications, and have been "educated" to death about homebirth. Most of them are still very anti-homebirth, so sharing the idea of UC with them would bring constant lectures on my "irresponsibility" etc. I feel somewhat like some other posters here who have created a bubble around themselves, only I feel more like I'm the one who's been put into a box, where no one has to deal with me. And I have another 6+ months of this?

Any suggestions on making this road, which I know is the right one for us this time, a bit easier to bear? For those who have been through this before, suggestions on bringing the excitement out, when all I've been used to is sharing all the little bits of news with people from appointments, etc.?

 

[HisBeautifulWife]

I know it's not as good as "the real thing" but I'm sure you have plenty of people here who will share in your joy and excitement.

And you have your husband and kids which is such a blessing. It may not be what everybody else has, but you aren't everybody else and there's nothing wrong with that.

Still, your other family and friends can be excited for you. You don't have to talk about your personal business as far as how you will have this baby. Talk about anything- how you are feeling, the countdown, the things you've bought, the things you are going to teach the baby, how much weight you've gained (if you want), how your other kids feel about a new sibling, etc.

 

[fyrebloom]

I'm 15 weeks, so not much further along then you. I def miss having midwife appts, but on the other hand it's so much more special because when I do a "prenatal" appt, I can have my partners there to hear the baby's HB with me. I always had to go see the Dr or Midwife alone and that was worse.

I enjoy the privacy. I really like that I am in control and that only my partners (and you ladies of course) know i'm going unassisted. Our families think i'm homebirthing with a midwife. It's what THEY want to hear and it's easier to just keep the bubble up. I can't deal with negativity this time, I had too much of it last pregnancy and too much worry in both my other pregnancies.

I think feeling alone in this is very valid and rational. I have alot of times when I want to say we're doing this unassisted but I just can't and I see the pleading in the other person's eyes when they say "you DO have a midwife, right?" *sigh* I try not to look at it as being alone though, I look at it as being private. My babies conception was a private event, my pregnancy and far too soon my birth will also be a private event. It makes sense to me and I don't want for anything else. This is what I'm choosing for myself and my baby and I'm revelling in my decision still, I guess.

I hope it gets easier for you as time goes on. Maybe having a single trusted friend on the outside would help you feel less isolated?

 

[mellowyellowmama]

Mama, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I finally got over it, bursted my bubble, came out from under the radar and started blogging about my UP/UC and I feel SO MUCH BETTER! I need to shout it from the rooftops to feel confident about what I"m doing. It was such a downer for me to be so quiet about what I am going thru right now. I have gotten much more positive of a response than I thought I would. My family still doesn't know, and that is perfectly fine with me!

PM me if you want the link to my blog

 

[BabyMae09]

I think once you start feeling the babe move, you'll get more 'excited'. That's how it always works for me

 

[mizzshannon]

...no advice here as this is my first UP and only pg #2. i just wanted to send hugs to you and let you know that I feel your pain. i'm at week 25 and can relate to the previous poster concerning baby movements though. it makes me smile on the inside... that and talking to my toddler about it.. she just grins obliviously and jets off to her next household-disaster-in-the-making

:

 

[TzippityDoulah]

awww I so know what you mean!!! sometimes I wish I had a midwife so I could have appointments and get all jazzed up abot the heartbeats, and planning the birth etc! I do miss that part of more formal care...

Besides my God and my husband I've this community here. it's my source of strength some days, a sourc o f laughter, and education and friendship. Maybe you could find that here as well. if you feel well educated enough, you could always just chat.