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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Can ya'll send me some good vibes?<br>
There isn't much I can do about my situation. I live in Hong Kong and I'm using the public system. I don't get to choose my doctor (in fact I get a different one everytime). I do have my own midwife (who can't actually be there for the hospital birth) but will help me stay home for as long as possible and then help me transfer.<br><br>
But I just need to stay positive and upbeat about my situation.<br><br>
Here is a bit of a blog I posted about my drs appointment yesterday. It is a bit long.<br><br>
DH and I enter the room. This nurse/assistant says, "Put your bag there and lay down on this table. And you, (DH) go sit over there (behind a screen)."<br><br>
The assistant asks me, "So you have never had an ultrasound?"<br>
Wait 2 beats.<br>
The doctor asks DH, "So your wife has never had an ultrasound?"<br><br>
We both say no. I skipped the 12 week dating ultrasound because I thought it was unnecessary and I want to avoid too many interventions. Neither person asks us why we missed the ultrasound and it seems as though they think that I simply forgot to attend.<br><br>
I lay down on the bed...and then....I am totally getting forcibly undressed by this assistant. No, 'can you lift up your shirt?' 'Can you show me your belly?' No asking, just grabbing. I-ya!<br><br>
I am suddenly surrounded by a Dr, 2 medical students and an assistant. No one introduces themselves. The doctor sticks a FREEZING cold stethoscope on my chest. Brrrr. The medical students stare.<br><br>
Then before i know what hit me, a freezing doppler is stuck to my stomach. That is when I put the stops on. "Stop. What are you doing?" I say.<br>
"This is my assistant" says the doctor.<br>
"No, no, no, WHAT are you doing? Is that a doppler?"<br>
"Those are my medical students....do you want them to leave?" She looks at the students and gives them a dirty look. Like they had totally disrupted her flow.<br>
"NO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Is that a doppler?"<br>
She looks at me like I'm crazy and says, "Yes it is a doppler, I'm listening for the baby's heartbeat."<br>
"OK, thank you." (Thank you for finally listening to my question.)<br><br>
While all of this is happening, DH is stuck behind a screen. Like he has never seen what my stomach looks like. Like there is some sort of modesty to preserve. Let me tell you ladies, modesty in this relationship disappeared a loooong time ago.<br><br>
The doctor finishes listening and wipes the goop off my stomach. I am now allowed to sit up and go behind the screen. The doctor begins to dismiss me. I haven't been asked if I had any questions or concerns.<br><br>
I broke down at school the week before because I really hated the way I was being treated in the hospital and my principal had this great wisdom to share. "Don't care about them. They are very busy and need to get through many people but you must demand that they answer your questions. So if they seem impatient with you, ignore them and demand answers."<br><br>
So I start asking. "I think I have pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel. Is there anything I can do?"<br>
"You should do more exercise." the doctor says.<br>
"I easily get cramps while walking. Is this normal?"<br>
"It's normal. You should walk more slowly." the doctor says.<br><br>
Note to self, do more exercise but do it slowly. Ok.<br><br>
"I have a head cold and would like a sick leave certificate for all of today."<br>
"Do you have a fever?"<br>
"No."<br>
"If you have a fever, you should go see a doctor." (Aren't you a doctor?)<br>
She is actually very reluctant to give me a sick leave certificate and it appears that she wants me to waste more time and money going to a different doctor to get a sick certificate. I have to remind her that I need the certificate.<br><br>
After this exchange, she just stops talking to me. Her assistant takes over. I am told that if I miss my 20 week ultrasound, I don't get any other ones. Ok. I am also told that if I go a week overdue that I am to admit myself to the hospital. I nod my head but know that there is no way on earth I will go and admit myself to the hospital for only being a week overdue without any other concerns. (note: I'll not be playing footloose and fancy free with my health, I'll be under the care of a private midwife.)<br><br>
And with that, I leave. I'm happy to have heard Otis's heartbeat, but man-oh-man, if we have a second kid, he/she will not be born in Hong Kong.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> So, looks like bedside manners aren't practiced very well in Hong Kong. Was there maybe a language barrier that made this slightly more difficult?<br>
I'm not trying to excuse her behavior at all, it's just I have done my pre-natal appointments in Sweden, and Friday when we will move to France they will continue there until I give birth. Different countries have different ways of treating patients. And, in a second language often people are more direct!<br><br>
Could you maybe push for care under just one doctor?<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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This sounds like two cultures crashing, maybe?<br><br>
The situation may become more frustrating as you progress if you feel you don't have control. You need to take it back if possible.<br><br>
Are you going to birth in a public hospital or a private one? Would this make a difference for you? Are you allowed birthing plans with you deliver?
 

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My understanding is that in Hk in the public system the squeaky wheel gets the grease, just be insistant. There as a website called geobaby full of expat moms in HK, they should be able to help you learn to navigate the system.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I'm going public because I found that they were going to be the most receptive and flexible... I will have a birthing plan, and they seem to be respected from what I've heard.<br>
But going public means you get no choice about doctors and it is a different one everytime. I've hired a midwife. She can't actually help me in the hopsital but she'll assist me with my labour at home and then help me transfer to the hospital at the last minute.<br><br>
I do intend on being very squeaky and insitent on the things I believe I need. I do go one geobaby frequently. I have gathered lots of information from there but there are very very few crunchy moms on there.
 

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Can you get a doula to attend the birth?
 

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Is homebirth illegal? What if it is an "accident?" You will have a midwife there... what is the benefit of birthing in the hospital?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ivymae</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14728537"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is homebirth illegal? What if it is an "accident?" You will have a midwife there... what is the benefit of birthing in the hospital?</div>
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My thought exactly, what if you "didn't realize" you were in labor until you pushed the baby out?
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I would, and I thought about trying to find a international midwife. But midwives in HK do not do homebirths. I have looked high and low. My midwife says it is because they are fine unless they need to transfer and then it gets dangerous because no one does homebiths here. The system is convoluted.<br><br>
I have thought about trying to get her to stay...but in my contract with her it mentions something about transfering when she thinks it is time. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place.
 
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