Mothering Forum banner
1 - 13 of 13 Posts

· Premium Member
Joined
·
10,858 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 5 1/2 year old will not look me in the eye. Is this normal? Or is this something that will happen when he is older?
 

· Registered
Joined
·
8,827 Posts
I don't think it is related to age at all... Ds looked people in the eye from infancy. Does your ds make eye contact with anyone? While not making much eye contact in and of itself may not mean much, combined with other things it's not uncommon for kids on the autism spectrum.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
10,858 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
The other thing I noticed is, the other night I was reading to him (Kindergarten homework assignment). I pointed to the words in the book as I sounded each out. He refused to look at the word. His eyes would wander and look elsewhere in the room or on a different part of the page at a picture.

No one has ever said he is autistic. He is extremely outgoing. He talks and makes noises (sound effects) non stop and constantly is asking questions. Even after I have repeatedly told him to stop. But he also tends to pace and not stand still. Especially when talking or asking questions.

My big concern is my hiusband was diagnosed as Bipolar II in June. I do know it runs in families. Could something along these lines be happening? My husband has always paced and fiddled. Especially when on the phone.
 

· Registered
3
Joined
·
3,862 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by KatWrangler View Post
The other thing I noticed is, the other night I was reading to him (Kindergarten homework assignment). I pointed to the words in the book as I sounded each out. He refused to look at the word. His eyes would wander and look elsewhere in the room or on a different part of the page at a picture.

No one has ever said he is autistic. He is extremely outgoing. He talks and makes noises (sound effects) non stop and constantly is asking questions. Even after I have repeatedly told him to stop. But he also tends to pace and not stand still. Especially when talking or asking questions.
Asperger's, maybe? Except for the outgoing part, you could be describing my son at that age, and I know sometimes people with Asperger's can have outgoing personalities.
 

· Premium Member
Joined
·
12,443 Posts
Have you had his eyes tested? That would be my first choice!

My second guess would be something sensory or ADHD (possibly) - the constant talking and noises might be his way of controlling his sensory input. My dh has some sensory issues and possibly ADHD, and he needs pretty much constant auditory input. I've sensory averse to noise, so it's created some tension around the house! He now wears his mp3 player constantly.

How are his social skills for his age? Autism spectrum issues, especially Aspergers, are more a lack of understanding of social cues than lack of desire to be social.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
2,827 Posts
Not making eye contact can have various sources.

I would have his eyes checked by a developmental optometrist to rule that out. And have a look at this:

http://eideneurolearningblog.blogspo...think-and.html

Quote:
and the onset of gaze aversion as a strategy for thinking tended to arise at about the age of 5 years
.

Having lots of energy is common in young boys. My DD is now in gr5 and many of the boys who could NOT sit still at 5/6 are much more settled now. Maybe it's ADHD, maybe it's a kinesthetic learning style, maybe it's sensory management. At that age, my son did a lot of pacing when he was doing heavy thinking.

Good for you for exploring with an open mind, and I hope you settle on a solution soon
.
 

· Banned
Joined
·
4,685 Posts
I don't look people in the eye all that often. I find it very intrusive and rude when people stare at me. And perhaps your son isn't interested in reading yet or he is bored by the way you are teaching him to read. He may be looking everywhere on the page because he can't decipher the letters and the phonics isn't connecting itself together yet, because you have been working for to long without a break, or because he wants to look at the pictures before reading.

My dd is always on the move. She also only likes to read when it is interesting to her and you won't find her willingly doing any schoolwork that bores her. Many people who are perfectly normal adults also move a lot, though their movements tend to me more socially acceptable like foot wiggling or waving their pen without tapping it. Many people don't go to college because they don't want to do all the homework so I don't think it is that strange for a child to be put of by homework.

Talking and questioning is something that goes along with personality. I know many people who are just talkers and questioners, including my dd. It is something you learn to value and accept about people. It is also not unusual for kids to ignore parents requests or demands, especially ones that seem so silly to a talker, like not talking or asking questions about the world.

I don't think you should jump to the conclusion that your child may be autistic just because he is energetic, likes to talk, doesn't care to look you in the eye, and doesn't want to do homework. You should first look into things going on at home that contribute why he may not want to look you in the eye. Does he associate looking someone in the eye with times when he has been scolded? Are there much more interesting things to look at in the house other than your eye? Are there times when he will look you in the eye? What does he say about not wanting to look you in the eye?
 

· Registered
Joined
·
7,159 Posts
Unless there is something else concerning you, in the absence of anything else I wouldn't worry about this. It could just be a personality trait. My brother doesn't look people in the eye when he talks to them. It's just a personality trait in his case.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
8,827 Posts
Maybe he is just a kinesthetic learner. I know kids that pace or walk in circles without eye contact when thinking/talking. And my ds tends to make noise as a way of dealing with a sound sensitivity. I think he makes as much sound as the vacuum, lol, when I'm using it.

I suspect I maintain more eye contact than makes others comfortable. My Germanic roots? I make a conscious effort not to look at people for as long as I find natural.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,889 Posts
DD doesn't look people in the eyes for more than a glance. She is not autistic but she does have sensory processing difficulty, and lots of simultaneous sensory input is difficult for her still. She's also quite outgoing (definitely an extrovert).
 

· Registered
Joined
·
740 Posts
My son, age 6, sees an OT once weekly for sensory related issues. One of the things his teacher last year mentioned to us was his lack of eye contact (I had noticed it only it when I was feeling stern and felt like he was trying to get out of talking about the situation).

His OT works with him on eye contact a lot, because it was affecting how he was relating to adults and other kids. An effective exercise is to sit in front of a mirror and have him tell me a story, and we make eye contact via the mirror. The medium of the mirror makes it easier for him to practice. He has improved quite a bit over the last several months.

Hope this is helpful!
 

· Registered
Joined
·
746 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by joensally View Post
Not making eye contact can have various sources.

I would have his eyes checked by a developmental optometrist to rule that out.
I agree with this. My daughter has had some vision issues from infancy, and they have definitely affected the way she orients herself and relates to the world around her--trouble searching for things, constant motion, etc. A good developmental optometrist could check your ds to make sure all is right with his visual system.

naismama
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,561 Posts
I'm a normal (I think!) adult who doesn't look people in the eye well. I can when they're talking to me, but if I look someone in the eye when I'm talking, I get distracted and forget what I'm saying. I've always been that way. It's just a personality trait for some of us.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top