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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think I'm just going to have a nervous breakdown and get it over with.

This afternoon I couldn't get my 2yo to nap, so I sat on the floor next to her bed and cried while she played. I don't know what I'm doing with the kid I've got,... what am I going to do with TWO?

I have all these plans for getting extra cleaning done, getting stuff set up for the baby, getting meals in the freezer for the first few weeks after the baby is here... lots of great plans.. but I am so tired all the time, I can barely keep up with the regular day to day stuff, let alone anything extra.

Time is running out and I have nothing done and no energy to do it.

DD was a very high needs baby. What if this new one is too? Will I have to go without sleep for 18 months like I did with her?

The yard work is falling behind. I was hoping to hire a kid I know to keep it up this summer. He is willing and able, but we just don't have the money.

Yes.. I know that I will get through this. I know that it will all be all right. The world won't end if the yard is overgrown and the house is a mess and we end up eating crap for a few weeks. I'm just so frustrated that I can't do any of the things I wanted to get done.

I'm going to bed. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better and get everything done.
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Thanks for letting me rant.
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Poor you! I can relate - I cry about everything.

In my experience though the second ones always are easier - I think it is the experienced parents!

I also try to clean and have zero energy! I had to organize a school fund raiser for 260 people with barely any help from the other PTA parents who apparently thought I have nothing to do as I am on maternity leave.

Both my kids will have a birthday party in the next 2 weeks (one 5 months late!!!) and my husband is going to a wedding in the States while I stay here in Austria with the kids. I feel overwhelmed and overworked although I do nothing.

Freezing meals works best to just double up portions and freeze of what you are cooking anyways.

I hope you feel better this morning!
 

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ArticRose-

I think this kind of overwhelm and tiredness happens more with second or third or fourth babies and is very normal- I'm on my second, and feel this overwhelm in moments too. My husband has been away for work almost all of the past two months, I'm studying for a big six hour exam this Saturday, and my 3 year old has been a real handful- very needy lately. I'm an expat in Paris and know hardly anyone who can lend a hand.

So it can be a bit much sometimes.

What I do, and what I would wish for you, is realize that the most important thing is that the baby have a happy Mommy. Whatever that means for you. For me, it does mean that dishes might be unwashed right now, I'm not the best playmate for my son, I have literally nothing prepared for baby #2 arrival- but I take naps when I need to, I relax when I need to, I take a walk when I need to.

What babies need most those first three months is you, your breast (if you are nursing), your skin, and your warmth. They need some diapers, some onesies, and a sling. It's pretty simple if you really think about it (and if you are co-sleeping). And your two year old will be happy to cuddle up and read some books while you nurse.

You'll get through this tough time. Rest will help you so much. It will help ward off those deeper harder feelings of overwhelm. Nap with the baby and your 2 year old when the time comes!

A clean house and healthy food will come in due time.

Also, if you allow yourself to rest now, you never know, you might get a burst of nesting instinct in that last week and get tons done. That happened to me in my last pregnancy!

Many Blessings!!!
 

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I'm having #4 and feel overwhelmed, wonder WTH I was thinking almost every day even though I wanted this baby desperately. The other day I dropped something on my toe that didn't hurt that bad but I screamed and then just dropped to the floor and started crying. Ugh! Freakin' hormones! I wonder every night how I will ever get any sleep. When we go to bed my boys are still jumping and wrestling and making all kinds of noise and commotion. They won't just settle down and be quiet. What am I going to do when the baby is here and falls asleep and I want to sleep but my older boys won't settle and then wake the baby? I'll probably lose it! The only thing I can do is let it all go. It will work however it's going to work and I have to go with it rather than trying to force things to be the way I think they should be.

It sounds to me like maybe you are putting way too much pressure on yourself to do stuff. You are pregnant. That is physically taxing in and of itself. Add to that having a toddler to take care of and it's no wonder you are tired. Let all the other stuff go and get some rest/sleep whenever you can. The world won't end if you don't clean the house. If you can, enlist help for things. Your SO can certainly step up and do more around the house and take care of your toddler (which may mean taking her out of the house) so you can get some extra rest. And you have to decide that if/when your SO does that, you rest rather than trying to get your list crossed off. Take care of yourself. The stuff can wait.
 

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I have had that exact same experience probably 10 times now, where my toddler won't nap and all I can do is sit on the floor and cry from frustration and exhaustion. You're not the only one!
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I like MarineWife's advice about resting more. I need to do that myself!
 

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I felt this way in my 2nd trimester. I had a lot going on with 4 kids, going to school full time, DH going to school full time and working full time and we moved. Every day was filled to the brim with stuff to do and I felt so overwhelmed. My youngest is 3.5 years old and is quite a handful too, which made even the simplest task seem daunting. Once things started to calm down, it seemed to be easier and I was less likely to lose it every day.

I think you're probably having too high of expectations for yourself and your DD right now. You're in the home stretch of this pregnancy and it's not going to get any easier for quite some time. It doesn't matter if the lawn looks like crap. Believe me, your neighbors can probably tell you're about ready to pop and they understand. If you're really concerned about it, maybe a neighbor kid could mow it for you for a few bucks? School should be out soon and I remember being younger and looking for any way possible to make money so I could buy candy. LOL. As far as your DD goes, she's 2 and while it seems like her not napping is the end of the world, it's really not. 3 of my kids area spaced every 2 years and they stopped napping shortly after their younger sibling was born. It wasn't a big deal. I *gasp* put on the tv for them during "quiet time" and believe me they aren't all zombies now. Whatever you can do to make it through the day is okay!

As far as meals go, just double up on the meals you're already making and freeze what you don't eat. It's so much easier this way. Don't try making these extravagant meals either. Just making up some some easy things is good enough. You won't be picky once the baby comes. You'll just be thankful that you have some extra food in the freezer so you can spend more time snuggling your itty bitty.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you all so much! I still feel tired and frustrated, but I don't feel alone with it. kwim?

I should stop sweating the small stuff, as they say, and focus on growing this baby and keeping DD happy. The rest will either get done or wait. I need to stop worrying about trying to potty train DD. She'll get there when she's ready. I'll stop worrying about the yard. It's been too wet to do much out there anyway. I really need to stop worrying about what might happen, that really isn't doing any good. I need to remind myself that I am strong and healthy and that this baby will be born, one way or another (hopefully at home) and everything will be fine. We are not going to end up in the NICU for 5 weeks like last time. Lots of deep breaths and calm thoughts. More stories and snuggles with DD. Less stressing.

Thinking about it this morning, with a slightly clearer head, I think part of my problem is guilt. My DH is disabled, his illness has highs and lows, and he is currently in a low. I get angry with him for not doing more, even though I know he is doing all that he can, and then I feel guilty about getting angry. I feel like he should help more, even though he is helping all he can. I love him so much and want to make life easier for him, and instead it's just getting harder because I can't do more.

Then I remind myself that he had a part in making both of our kids.
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And I know that he understands where I'm at with all of this. He doesn't care if I let the dishes go or the laundry is behind or the lawn isn't mowed. He does care that I am unhappy, so I should just work on that.

Thank you, ladies, for your kind support! I am going to dry my tears (you all made me cry again,.. but then, what doesn't?
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) and turn on the TV for DD so I can go take a nice long shower....
 

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ArcticRose, I could have written your same post the other night. My 18 month old peed all over my freshly washed and made bed and then as I was cleaning that up she got into the crayons and colored all over a peice of furniture. And then I had a mini breakdown and cried for an hour. I am having baby number 4, my oldest is only 5, and I was just totally and completely overwhelmed at the thought of trying to keep up with 4 of them! I understand your frustration of wanting to do so many things and just not feeling physically able to do it. I have a long list of things to get done this month and I just don't know how it's going to happen. But I would say to you what the others have been saying, lower your expectations, enlist any free help you can find from friends and family, and pay for any help you can afford. And rest as much as you can!! It will get better!

Oh and almost everyone I have ever known has had an easier second baby than the first, myself included. Good luck!!
 

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I think most of us with kids already are in this boat right about now. I have a sweet loving manipulative, stubborn little boy that I could throw across the room about 13 times a day right now. Up until the last few weeks I have enjoyed pretty much every moment of being a mom but NOW I just want to be left alone. Which of course makes him whiny which irritates me. I started lying in bed with him for naps and most of the time he passes out so I get to sleep too. It is a win win situation.

As far as meals go, I am super lame and just plan to buy a butt load of turkey and tuna and eat sandwiches for a couple of weeks. I figure if you buy 7 pounds of apples, 3 pounds of carrots and 20 cans of tuna no one will starve right? I may not win chef (or mom) of the year but who cares!?!

My cleaning consists of doing dishes and laundry and that is it. Sometimes I halfheartedly pick up the living room floor. Our babies are growing like crazy right now and that takes a ton ton ton of energy not to mention being massively preggo in summer. Take it easy, I second watching a bit more TV. I set TV deadlines (like he can watch 2 shows and then I have to drag my butt off the couch and play with him) it is really helpful to both of us.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArcticRose View Post

I think I'm just going to have a nervous breakdown and get it over with.

This afternoon I couldn't get my 2yo to nap, so I sat on the floor next to her bed and cried while she played. I don't know what I'm doing with the kid I've got,... what am I going to do with TWO?

I have all these plans for getting extra cleaning done, getting stuff set up for the baby, getting meals in the freezer for the first few weeks after the baby is here... lots of great plans.. but I am so tired all the time, I can barely keep up with the regular day to day stuff, let alone anything extra.

Time is running out and I have nothing done and no energy to do it.

DD was a very high needs baby. What if this new one is too? Will I have to go without sleep for 18 months like I did with her?

The yard work is falling behind. I was hoping to hire a kid I know to keep it up this summer. He is willing and able, but we just don't have the money.

Yes.. I know that I will get through this. I know that it will all be all right. The world won't end if the yard is overgrown and the house is a mess and we end up eating crap for a few weeks. I'm just so frustrated that I can't do any of the things I wanted to get done.

I'm going to bed. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better and get everything done.
eyesroll.gif


Thanks for letting me rant.
redface.gif
yeahthat.gif


hug2.gif
I could have written this post myself. I dont remember feeling so impatient, frustrated, emotional, teary at the drop of a hat, exhausted, sore, annoyed, distracted, and unproductive in my whole life! DS is 21 months and although pretty much a good kid, is high energy and is always on the go. I cant get anything done anywhere because as soon as I start doing something he's run off to another room or down the driveway and I've got to put everything down and go with him. He luckily naps for 2-3 hours a day but I pretty much use that for napping myself and just sitting for a minute. By the time I do those he's up and it's back to go go go. I have a million things I want to get done before baby comes since I remember not feeling like a human until 6+ weeks with DS (thank you every 2 hour feeds). I'm thinking man its tough trying to get things done now WTH am I going to get done when there are 2 to chase after?!?!?! I have waves of anxiety about it but I try to tell myself that just like with DS I'll get through it and figure it out somehow. but man, I'm hoping hubby and my family step up to the plate and do some serious helping around here or this place is going to be a disaster by the end of the summer!

So yeah, I'm right there with you mama. I have no words of wisdom because I'm in the same boat. But I just keep telling myself to do a little at a time and everything will be OK in the end.
 

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oh my goodness I so feel you! I called into work yesterday and slept half the day away. Then I got enough energy (finally!) to get my room really cleaned out and ready.

I still have meals to freeze. The rest of my house is NOT ready. My yard is embarrassing. My poor, poor garden - oh it makes me want to cry. More weeds than food right now, for sure.

I keep waiting for nesting to kick in, but all I want to do is sleep. Yet, I can't sleep at night (less than 3 hours last night!) And I think when it does kick in I'll be useless anyway, because my back hurts SO BAD all the time.

Also, on the crying thing - me too! I've cried and work almost every day the last week because I am so tired and so sore and so done.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SuburbanHippie View Post I *gasp* put on the tv for them during "quiet time" and believe me they aren't all zombies now. Whatever you can do to make it through the day is okay!
I did this with my oldest when I was working and going to school and a single mom. When he stopped napping, we still had quiet time. Sometimes that meant a movie. I don't feel bad about it!

I don't know how those of you with kiddos close together get it done. Mine are all spread (almost 13, almost 8 and then this one) and I can barely handle that. I can't imagine a toddler!
 

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One of the kiddos left our full size freezer door open last week and 1/2 our food thawed. I was forced to spend about 5 hours cooking up chickens and sausages. Now I have a lot of diced and sliced chicken for pizzas and quesadillas though! haha.
 

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Hang in there everyone! It is comforting to know that everyone else is also having highs and lows. When you are having those lows keep everything as simple as possible and forgive yourself for what you are unable to do!

Tuesday I was exhausted and could barely get off the couch so I did very, very little- I assumed the baby was growing lots that day and maybe my blood volume was increasing as well. Wednesday I felt like superwoman able to be out with my 3 year old for 6 hours keeping him amused while we got our flat tire fixed (and happy I didn't have to interupt my husband at work because I couldn't handle it). Yesterday I went to work and came home and crashed really early. Today even though it is beautiful here I am taking it easy because my husband will not be home until late and I want to conserve my energy for later this evening.

Take it one moment at a time and know that even though it may feel that you are not doing anything you are still growing a healthy baby inside you and taking care of whatever children you have now- that is tons. Just feeding the kids and yourself alone is effort.

You are not alone. And I really believe that everything will be ok when the baby gets here- because we have no other choice! Sure it will be a crazy few months but it will work out!
 

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Again- another person who could have written your exact post. Even with the nicu stay, and dh with issues. My daughter is 5, tho.

My situation is complicated because I'm currently staying up in a city 2.5 hrs away from home because this is where I'll have the baby if we want midwives. So I can't cook my freezer meals, or clean my house, or tend the yard- even if I had the energy or lacked the hip/pelvis pain!

Best thing ever- movies on my iPod for dd. Saving my life
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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I am so sorry you are all going through this too! Yet... I can't help but be a little glad, as this must mean I'm not just weird. If so many of you are struggling with similar issues, then maybe this is normal and I just need to get through it.

DD was born at 32.3, and I still felt like I had time to get things done. (Ha!) This time I'm a couple of weeks further along and I just feel so hopeless about getting any of it done. Of course.. I didn't have a toddler last time! I swear, if she pees on the floor one more time.... she is so sweet and trying her best with the potty, and I am trying so hard to not let it show when I get frustrated.

One day at a time, one moment at a time...

I did finally get DD's clothes sorted. I can now find her summer clothes without digging through her drawers full of winter clothes.
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The only trouble I had was keeping her from trying on every article of clothing while I sorted, lol.

Crystal.. maybe I need someone to leave our freezer open to get me motivated to do some cooking.
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I can also have written your post, though i don't have the nap issue. My DD#1 is 4.5 and very agreeable, and able to play by herself, but I am so tired I am lucky to get through the dishes and laundry. And I'm even slacking on that. DH and I have been building a house for the last several years, and we had high hopes for finishing a number of projects before this baby was born. We've gotten through some of them, but nowhere near all. I'm pretty useless, and DH works better with outside help, which we can't afford right now. So we're working on letting go of things on the list. And I have to work on not feeling too guilty about sitting in a chair and reading novels when the house looks like crap and there's stuff to do. Oh well, it is only temporary.
 
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