[Ruthla]

Feel free to move this to another forum if I picked the wrong one- I'm at a loss on where to even begin dealing with this.

I just got back from the conference with my daughters' teachers. Leah's doing fine- no surprises there. Hannah is another story- our schedualed 15 minute conference took closer to 45 minutes.

Hannah's been having a lot of trouble in 3rd grade. I mentioned to him that her therapist suspects ADD and he told me he thinks its just "L.A.Z.Y." The two of them (dd and her teacher) are completely butting heads. He seems to think that this is good for dd because it will "force her to wake up and be cooperative" or something like that. He's a big beleiver in "I'm the grown up, and I said so, that's why." He wants me to have firmer limits and consequences for her not obeying. "What will she do when she grows up and her boss tells her to do something she doesn't want to do?"

Hannah has a habit of bursting into tears whenever I ask her to do something- and then she's unable to calm down enough to do whatever it is I asked of her (homework, chores, etc) She's a lot more stubborn than I am- I simply don't have the strength to fight her. She needs a lot of help organizing herself- and she has a very hard time hearing the word "no."

I can completely empathize with Hannah, and I feel that her teacher is being insensitive. I know that there need to be changes but I'm not sure how to implement them. Homeschooling is NOT an option right now.

 

[ekblad9]

My Hannah is 8 yo as well! I also have a Jack, :LOL Anyway, we homeschool but my Hannah was VERY difficult in the beginning of the year to get to do anything. She would cry for hours everyday when we would begin schooling. It would take her like eight hours to do maybe two hours worth of work. She did it well but she hated doing it. I implemented a star chart. On the days that she did her work without complaining she gets a star. When she has twenty stars we go to a bookstore and she can pick out a book. It's a simple solution so perhaps you've already thought of it. It's really helped alot. I've been very strict about whether or not she gets a star. Maybe you could ask her teacher for a quick note or email telling you if your Hannah did OK in school that day.

I'm sorry I can't be more help!

 

[SRHS]

Im a homeschooling mom, so maybe my bias will show, but who does the teacher think he is telling you how to parent your child? Obviously she doesn't respond to the Dictator style classroom. My DS had trouble in kindergarten, we tried the feingold diet and have said goodbye to all those nasty little annoying behaviors, (except when he gets "contraband" food.) So, I would recommend www.feingold.org, and How to Raise your Spritied Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka...which I know isn't any immediate relief for you...I would teach her alternatives to crying. Is she feeling frustrated? Angry? Sad? Afraid? Lonely? I would try to name her feelings for her and teach her other ways to deal with them...If she is angry with the teacher, count to tell and take a deep breath, if she is frustrated, write an alternative to what the teacher is asking her, and even if he is not receptive (though he may be more receptive if it is taken to him in a more "male" manner than through "female" tears)...then she can at least show you that she dealt with her feelings in a positive and constructive manner...etc etc...
Susan

 

[captain optimism]

Whoa! The teacher really said "L.A.Z.Y."? Whoa! Where's his degree from, the University of Blockheads?

My only thought is that you might enlist Hannah's cooperation in figuring things out. You noticed that she has trouble staying organized, and that it's difficult for her to hear the word "no". How about soliciting her input with that observation, "I notice that it's hard for you to stay organized enough to finish your homework and your chores, and that when I remind you about those responsibilities, it seems to really hurt your feelings. What do you think I can do to help you stay focused that won't make you feel bad?" You can tell her about eckblad7+'s idea about the star chart as an example of something you could do together to help her.

You know that you are on the same side, she really wants to get her stuff done but her feelings are getting in the way. Maybe when you ask her about her work stuff, she rehearses the same tantrum-y thing about how "you always ask me to clean my room when I am reading" or something like that? (Guessing from a kid's eye view, having had that kind of adversarial relationship with my mom myself!)

 

[girlndocs]

I don't know if this is something you've already explored but I wanted to second the suggestion of looking into dietary issues (since you mentioned that this isn't just a phenomenon at school). I've found that my son & I react to having wonky blood sugar by being super touchy, easily upset, cranky, and having an inability to focus.

For us, the solution was to severely cut down on refined carbohydrates, increase our protein and pay attention to eating frequent snacks. Since your daughter goes to public school I assume her meals are pretty widely spaced, and this habit probably carries over to her days at home -- if she's a touch on the hypoglycemic side this would make it hard for her to maintain a stable blood sugar level.

Quote:

Originally Posted by captain optimism Whoa! The teacher really said "L.A.Z.Y."? Whoa! Where's his degree from, the University of Blockheads?

That teacher is totally out of line -- it's none of his

business how you discipline your child. He sounds like a supremely arrogant, insensitive errrrr ... individual. Is it possible for your dd to move to another teacher's class?

Good luck!