I think everyone that get's married and starts a fam has some sort of problem like this. We must understand that marriage is not just about being in love...it's about blending two very seperate and different lives together to form a whole. Not that 2 become 1, but 2 must learn to live together as 1. It isn't as easy as loving eachother. Although that is a great perk, and essential to a marriage. For us, we were friends for a short while through other mutual friends, but were only intimate for 3 months before we got pregnant. We were both excited, but that doesn't always equal to a happy ever after. In fact, we are married with 2 dd's now, and we still aren't perfectly fit to eachother. For us, it's about always being willing to communicate, and understand eachother. Being able on BOTH parts to stop thinking about what you want or need, and honor the other. If you both give, you both receive. We bicker, and feel neglected at times. But, because we love eachother and care about the other truly being happy, we always seem to work it out. I don't think it's as easily defined as making a set schedule, or time frame that "belongs" to one another. What works for us is knowing that we can always "strike a deal", in that if there is something we want, or somewhere we need to be, we are always willing to make it work. For me, I am a SAHM, and my hubby works a lot, and does a model airplane club on the weekends. I know how you feel about feeling isolated and alone. But, it has been a great relief for me to know that he would give up his me time for me for any reason, just because I asked. Like this weekend, the weather was forcasted poor, so he didn't plan to go. However, looking out this AM proved to be sunshine, yet, he knew how happy I was to have him this weekend, so he is staying anyway. Granted, if he asked, I would let him go, it's the empathy for how I feel. I would also like to add from my experience, a lot of men just get uncomfortable sexually when it comes to pregnancy. You worded it perfect. Your yoni is not presently for him. It may help to show him literature to demonstrate otherwise, however, for some men that isn't exactly the problem. It just isn't what some men prefer. It also may help to suggest that you have fun now, because if you plan a vaginal birth, it will be sometime before you are physically able to have fun. Please remember that "sex" isn't the only avenue of intimacy, and I suggest communicating with him how you feel, and that you need to be comforted in this time of alienation from your normal body. I never actually experienced that, as my hubby has always been very attracted to me during pregnancy...in fact my 2nd pregnancy it was almost like fending off a love-sick dragon!! LOL!! But all men are different, as are all women...so this is a very personal affair. A lot of the men my dh is friends with felt much like your dh regarding their pregnant dw's....and it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you or is less attracted to you...it's just weird to be pregnant, and some guys don't like the idea of "sharing". My best suggestion is this: communicate. Sit him down and tell him it is important to you to talk. Great marriages aren't free from problems...but communication is essential. Tell him everything you told us, and that you have needs that must be met. I'm sure he will understand. Some men just need things to be spelled out. I know from experience....I tend to think my hubby should "just know" a lot of things, and it has caused many debates. I have found that when I stop assuming he should just do or know something automatically, and gently verbalize my wants, he is almost always willing to reciprocate. Anyway, best of luck, and I agree that you should be more active about finding friends in your area. Also, try finding your tribe, it's a section of this forum.