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lost my baby saturday..

633 Views 15 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  NWmt_mama
saturday i had a miscarriage with my third child. we were so happy when we found out we were having another baby and now he/she is in heaven. my husband is in major denial, he keeps rubbing my belly and talking to the baby which only makes me more and more sad. i dont know how to start a conversation about the whole situation. i was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to communicate with him so we can get through this.
thank you so much,
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s mama. I'm sorry - your family will be in our thoughts.
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I am so sorry, mama.
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i'm so sorry to hear about your loss, tara. we also miscarried our third baby. your husband sounds like he is really having a hard time accepting that the pregnancy is truly over. as hard as it is, for your health's sake, he needs to get past this denial.

i don't really have a suggestion for a conversation starter, other than, when he starts to talk to the baby, maybe you can use that as the lead-in and as hard as it is, jump right in and gently tell him how this avoidance is affecting you~ both of you need to heal from this devastating event.

please feel free to pm me if you need to talk.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby.
i am so very sorry mama.
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s::: I think your dh really needs to be told just flat out to quite rubbing your belly. It is only making it harder on you! Maybe you can say that since the baby didn't make it, could you please rub my back. Take care!
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I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. When we lost our daughter my husband really opened up the first few days with the social worker. Is there a pregnancy/birth loss support group in your area? We have one here at the local hospital but there are organizations online that you might check out as well. Also there are some good books that are listed here in the resources that might help you start a discussion.
So sorry, mama.
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i just wanted to say thank you!! for everyones support and suggestions. we finally talked and it went well, tears and all...he was really scared i wasnt going to make it and he was getting through that and just didnt want to think about loosing the baby or loosing anyone for that matter. and i loved the response about rubbing my back instead of my belly and that worked!! we are doing much better and pulling through this hard time. thank you all soooo much for your support!
much love,
tara, james, alex, calynn and "baby bun"
I'm afraid I don't have any advice about talking to your husband about this, but I wanted to let you know that I read your post and I'm thinking about you.

I know it's hard. Please allow yourself (and your husband) time to grieve over this.
okay. no more posting til I finish threads... :doh:

Glad to see you are working things out... Our first angel would have been eleven today had she made it, and her brother ten in a week and a half, and losing our daughter is what eventually cost us our relationship the first time around {we split the day before I found out I was pg for-sure, and the baby died a couple weeks later}
to you mama. Glad to hear that you and your dh are doing better, too. Take care of yourself.
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