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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We concieved naturally with twins, and then a third daughterin 2002. ttc since 1/04. My friends don't sympathize because they say you have three babies why do you need any more? It's hard for me, I understand I must seem greedy, but I wanted a big family, that was my life's goal/dream/plan. I do count my blessings daily but since we've been trying, two of my aquaintances have had abortions, one friend has given one child up for adoption and is pregnant and giving the second child up also (she won't consider giving this one to me because it would be too painful for her to see the baby
) four friends have had babies including one friend having a set of twins and two of my best friends are pregnant and due within the month. Obviously,I can't explain that although I'm happy for them I'm sad for me. I feel ashamed that I'm jealous, and my husband doesn't understand. He's busy with other goals,and just takes it for granted that we will concieve. He's 52 I'm 28, I have no money for tests and wonder if anyone else has been low income ttc alternatively. would be more than happy to adopt if we could afford it
 

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I hope your dreams come true.
One thing you can do is chart your temperature (lots of info on the net if you dont know what's normal)...that will give you info about your cycles and help you time intercourse for conception.
You can try herbs that help fertility: red clover, red rapsberry leaf
Vitex help regulate cycles if irregular.
Beyond that, it would probably cost $, unless your insurance covers testing. Since it's been over a year, you should be able to get a referral to a specialist if you want one.
Good luck

M
 

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I understand your frustration. I also always wanted several children, and really expected to conceive and give birth without difficulty. Unfortunately, that did not happen. One option for you is adoption through your state. That's where we are at. It doesn't cost any money and, depending on the child's needs, subsidy is also offered. Your TTC journey really hasn't been that long, although I know it seems like each month is an eternity.

Good Luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I know that 18 months doesn't seem like alot but I feel it intensly. I have a hard time seeing other ladies who don't want theirs . Any way, Ihave looked into the state but dh is too old to qualify
 

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Have you tried chiropractic care? Here's a good starting point for information about how chiropractic can help infertility: click here.

I realize you probably don't have a lot of extra money and/or not-the-greatest insurance, but many chiropractors work on a sliding scale and there may be a free clinic in your area (my husband volunteers at a few here in St. Louis). The website I linked to above can help you find a doctor.

Blessings
 

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Evening Primrose oil helped me regulate my cycles immensely and conceived very quickly. But I doubt the problem is with you...
Since your DH is over 50 I would say it is likely his fertility is the issue not yours so maybe he could try things to help increase sperm count (boxers, loose pants, Zinc supplements, better diet, etc...

I have known several couples who after TTC for months just decided to "take a couple months off" from TTC and just make love for fun and pleasure instead of "TTC" and they got pregnant- it seems to me that the stress of TTC often becomes a problem.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Alicia622 I know you meant well but it has been bothering me all day that you said Myjourney really hasn't been that long. I feel frustrated and sad and lonely when I hear that At my age a doctor would classify us as infertile, i just can't afford a doctor or innsurance for that matter. My other children were concieved with onlt two months of ttc and dd3 was concieved the night we decided to have more. This last 18 months has been really disappointing and emotional for me. I feel angry at the girl giving her baby away and my periods hurt more because I don't want them and I unconsiosly try to deny them. I try to relax and not think about it but I can't stop. DH is 52 how much longer do I have with him to make our family? I can't even talk to anyone about that because everyone thinks i should have thought of that sooner, but I didn't I fell in love and married a man 24 years older than me . And Then I think what if it isn't him it's me what if I am too fat or not good enough for God to give me more. I hurt alot and I have noone to talk to about it. My friend says you already have babies isn't three enough? So I know she doesn't get it anyway i hear you that you have had a long journey and i feel for you and dh I hope you guys get whatever children arer in your future
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by magentamomma
Alicia622 I know you meant well but it has been bothering me all day that you said Myjourney really hasn't been that long. I feel frustrated and sad and lonely when I hear that At my age a doctor would classify us as infertile, i just can't afford a doctor or innsurance for that matter. My other children were concieved with onlt two months of ttc and dd3 was concieved the night we decided to have more. This last 18 months has been really disappointing and emotional for me. I feel angry at the girl giving her baby away and my periods hurt more because I don't want them and I unconsiosly try to deny them. I try to relax and not think about it but I can't stop. DH is 52 how much longer do I have with him to make our family? I can't even talk to anyone about that because everyone thinks i should have thought of that sooner, but I didn't I fell in love and married a man 24 years older than me . And Then I think what if it isn't him it's me what if I am too fat or not good enough for God to give me more. I hurt alot and I have noone to talk to about it. My friend says you already have babies isn't three enough? So I know she doesn't get it anyway i hear you that you have had a long journey and i feel for you and dh I hope you guys get whatever children arer in your future
I am sorry- I truly did not mean to dismiss your situation. I suppose I was looking at it from my own situation of over ten years TTC so to me 18 months was just the begining. But I do know every single month that you wake up to learn, yet again, you are not pregnant is heartbreaking. Please forgive my insensitivity.

Are you sure about the state programs? I know of a woman in her 50's who had a three day old baby placed with her and she ended up adopting him. He's now three, she is 54 and her husband is a few years older.

DH and I were incredibly lucky that we had insurance for the end of our TTC journey. Testing, IUI's and ultrasounds were covered. It also covered clomid and progesterone. You might be able to slowly work through the tests you need. Some might not be all that expensive. When we were considering paying out of pocket, we checked into the costs. Maybe you or DH could try to find a job with insurance to help you. Some areas actually mandate infertility coverage! A good place to start, if you haven't already is the book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Most of the web sites on adoption say he is too old, and our state website is not real helpful. Dh owns his own biz so it isn't really an option to get a job w/insurance Any way I do get where you are coming from. You posted on the first day of my period so I was particularly sensitive. Good luck to you guys.
 

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52 isn't really too old to father a baby - there's nothing about aging that should stop a man's sperm production.
I would suggest him getting a full physical and you as well - not neccesarily with the goal of an infertily answer, but in order to rule out physical changes in his or your health. Insurance that you buy for small business owners would cover this type of investigation.
Then I would take May-lily's suggestion to chart. You may be able to identify your own problem with charting - are you ovulating? Are you getting pregnant shifts in temperature but continuing to menstruate? There are many answers that can be found (and plenty of mysteries, too).

Is your dh on board with you? You say that "I have no money for tests" - is that just a turn of phrase because you are the one writing here, or do you mean he won't help finance the tests?
 
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