[b_light]

My newly 4 year old son's teacher mentioned to me at our conference that my son has low self-confidence. When I asked what might help him she suggested time and if we wanted a cooperative sport. We *may* do that in the summer, but my son is highly interested in music and begged for music lessons for over a year, so he began violin. With violin and preschool (5 hours a day, 4 days a week), his plate is already as full as it can get.<br><br>
What are some things we could do or some attitudes to adopt at home?<br><br>
I have seen him do this at school (he does it everywhere), he'll be ready to put hus work away and he'll walk to the other side of the room to ask the teacher where the work goes. Or, he'll ask a bunch of questions (albeit politely) to make sure his work is just right. And he does seem fairly anxious that it might not be. His sensitivity to correction is one of the reasons I can't see him thriving in a non-Montessori environment.<br><br>
I'm almost positive that he gets this trait from me and I'm attempting to work on me, too. We have a very open, warm, unexpecting atmosphere at home...but I expect miracles from myself (trying to stop) and he is starting to do this too.<br><br>
Help!

 

[carmel23]

<p>I am a perfectionist, and see this in my kids, sometimes, too.  I think one thing that practical life is meant to do is to help the child feel ownership of their environment, and be comfortable there.  Does he have any practical life things he does at home?  care for plants, get his own snack, wahs dishes, windows, etc?</p>
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<p>I have to self consciously talk up process and working hard (rather then outcome) for my kids and myself.  You can control how hard you work, but you can't always control the outcome, yk? </p>
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<p>That's all I can think of now, I am sure there are other things people will suggest.  I think montessori can be great for these kinds of feelings, because there are many opportunities to do the same work, and that builds confidence (like there isn't a huge pressure to not try a work again, but this is encouraged, yk?). </p>
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<p>And whatever my kids are nervous about at school, we tend to support at home. Like my second son was nervous about writing, so we would practice this at home (just having a time to write, no workbooks or anything, although that might happen later) and that was tremendously good for his self-confidence.</p>
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<p>My sons are group sport averse.  But martial arts are good!  That might be a good confidence booster, swimming, biking...</p>
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<p>I bez ramblin'</p>