[GoodNamesGone]

Hello!<br><br>
I had supply issues for number one. I am a long-term planner and I am thinking about number two and how I will try to have a better supply.<br><br>
So this thread pertains to this- If I achieve my goal, and get to EBF child 2, how will that be different from child 1? Will child 1 BEING child 1 make up for what we missed out on? Will I be more bonded to child 2?<br><br>
So much didn't get to go how I wanted with her birth, and then BFing didn't go well (it was horrible- she was awesome, but I just wasn't producing. I felt like I failed her so bad)... I learned so much with her, and I know number 2 will be a lot easier because of it. But that kind of makes me feel mad on DDs behalf- it isn't fair that she missed out, that WE missed out.<br><br>
Maybe I am being silly, maybe that feeling of wanting justice for her, or wanting whats best, of being worried- maybe that's all proof that her and I are golden.... but I would like to hear from some experianced mamas.<br><br>
How did supply getting better effect your relationship with your kids?

 

[Vegan Princess]

I have low supply and am still nursing my 15 month old DD. I feel like we have a complete breast feeding relationship as far as the emotional aspect is concerned. DD is very addicted to nursing and nurses all the time. I used a lactaid up until today (trying to stop as of today since she was only taking 4 ounces per days from it lately). She still loves to nurse, even though I don't make much milk...even less now that I have weaned off the medicines to increase supply. I do hope to have more milk with any subsequent babies, but I definitely don't think I will be more bonded to them or that DD1 has missed out on the bonding experience. My suggestion would be to use a lactaid next time around if you need to supplement...not sure if you did the first time or not? Then baby will be at the breast only and will spend as much time there as if you had a full supply.<br><br>
Cindy

 

[haydn'smommy]

I have just that situation here. I EP'd for 3 mos for the first and then finally got him to nurse, but he would only nurse 2-3 times/day because of my low supply and the rest was bottles. Number 2 on the other hand has had nothing but my milk. We've nursed from day 1 and although he gets bottles at daycare, if I'm there, he prefers mama.<br>
I do feel more bonded to my youngest. I understand him better. I know what he needs more than I did with my oldest. I don't love him more, but I love him differently. He's definitely easier, and I think that bfing has something to do with that, although personality-wise, he's just more easy going than my oldest.<br>
I do feel like my oldest was cheated a bit, in not getting that initial nursing relationship and in all the craziness of EPing that followed. I do wonder if that's part of his high needs thing that he has going on. Maybe. But, no matter what, he's my heart and he knows it (ask him "where's mama's heart?" and he'll point to his own).

 

[GoodNamesGone]

I plan on doing what I can to help my supply next time. I had my fears that it wasn't going to work. Everything I thought might go wrong did. I wish I would have known the support I had available to me, and taken advantage of the ones I did know about.<br><br>
Annie was born, she nursed like a champ, everything seemed good. When she was nearly 3 days old, we were in the hospital with her because of the jaundice- that was a nightmare! That was the day my milk came in. I felt the let-down when she started to cry, and when I went to feed her next, no more colostrum... It was hell after that.<br><br>
I had a doctor and his nurses telling me that I was failing at breast-feeding and needed to feed her formula, and she was only a few days old! I will NEVER recomend that hospital. It was like a prison and gave me and DH nightmares for a few days- all the rooms were cinder-block and sound-proofed. Except the bathrooms. So as soon as you stepped into the bathroom, all you could hear was babies crying.<br><br>
The LC there came to talk to me, but she was more like a grief councilor. As I am sitting there telling her I don't want to give my daughter formula, or even a bottle, another nurse comes in and says they need her in another room- the baby is refusing the breast. Right after she told me there was no such thing as nipple confusion!<br><br>
I'm sorry... I'm rambling. Basically we went through a LOT of stress and I'm sure that was one of the culprits. I hate, hate, hate that people make first time briths so hard! It's tough enough that we're all new to it, but then we have idiots messing things up.<br><br>
I really want to do something to help other new moms not have the bad experiances I did- but I'm not sure what I would do.

 

[haydn'smommy]

You can do what I did. Become a CLC! I had similar problems with my first. He nursed like a champ but I had nurses tell me that he wasn't getting enough and I needed to pump. When I didn't pum 4 oz at a pumping on day 2 of life, I was told I wasn't producing any milk and I was starving my baby. Add to that a spinal fluid leak from a bad epidural and I just failed. I pumped and pumped and pumped and I spiraled into severe PPD that affected how I bonded with my baby.<br>
After that I became determined to help other mamas. I took classes and became certified as a lactation counselor (I'm also a Peds NP so I see new mamas every day). I now work with mamas to establish a healthy breastfeeding relationship. I can sympathize with them when they are struggling and can celebrate with them when they succeed. I've been through all the highs and lows so I know what they are going through.<br>
I'm rambling, sorry. Basically, what I'm saying is that you have a unique perspective and experience. Use it!!!!! Get involved with LLL and maybe become a leader. Get involved as a WIC peer counselor. Study to become a LC and help other mamas. It's so very worth it.

 

[MixerMama]

Wow, reading this post was like reading my own situation. I wish that I had found this forum while I was nursing my first.<br><br>
I had supply issues with my first despite doing everything “right.” When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. I truely believe that I could be a CLC.<br><br>
With my second, I did everything even more right and had all confidence that it was going to work this time and that I was going to exclusively breastfeed. But it was not to be.<br><br>
I struggled big time (tears, therapy) with how to manage my new situation. On the one hand, I wanted to be able to give my youngest as much milk as I had my first. But on the other hand, I knew that the nursing and pumping regime that I was on the first time around would not allow me to be the mother that I need to be for my 18 month old. I couldn’t create that fertile ground for resentment between my children for only a few ounces more milk.<br><br>
I am still deeply disappointed about my breastfeeding situation, but I have to recognize that I am doing the best that I possibly can in these circumstances. My youngest daughter gets less milk than my first, but still enjoys nursing, so I will keep it up until she decides she doesn’t want to anymore. That was around ten months with my first.<br><br>
As for feelings of closeness or fairness or anything else. The fact that you are concerned probably is proof that things are golden.<br><br>
I feel just as bonded to my younger daughter despite our different nursing relationship. I definitely feel more sane. When I confessed that my breastpump used to talk to me at three in the morning when I was pumping with my oldest daughter, hubby definitely looked at me a little strange. I am a more present parent this time around, and I think that has been able to cover a multitude.