[Viola]

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Originally Posted by ArlyShellandKai Do any of you ever lurk or belong to other parenting boards that seem to be majority of non Bfing families that tend to think they need to justify there every action ( and usually they are very very selfish reasons) and knock Bfing saying its not as good as some say.. guess i need to stop lurking :LOL

Yes, I've experienced that before. Every board I've been on, whether it is more mainstream or whether it is AP/NFL has had some moms who couldn't or didn't want to breastfeed. Sometimes there were issues, most of the time there weren't. On the ones where they didn't want to do it, there have been times where they are trying to say that breastfeeding isn't that important and they don't see what the big deal is. Formula, breast it's the mom's choice, it's a personal decision, respect me for my choice, etc.

Sometimes there are moms who are new to the online thing and haven't considered breastfeeding because it isn't something they want to do. They aren't really aware that it is such an issue, then when they become aware that a lot of people believe that formula feeding is sub-optimal, they become defensive, hurt and angry by the comments. The odd thing to me, however, is that a lot of the mainstream parents I've talked to who are adamant that they be respected for choosing formula will be quick to speak up and lecture someone about issues they think are important. This is the thing I don't really understand.

 

[Viola]

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Originally Posted by Shaunam Every once in a while a new mom will get on there and ask opinions to help her decide whether to bf or ff. When people start listing the benefits, the ff'ing moms will say, "well, my kids were on formula from day one and they're JUST FINE!" Then they tell the mama that she shouldn't listen to the bf'ing nazi's, blah, blah, blah and they are making bf'ing bigger deal than it is (how would they know if they never bf?).

Yeah, that is the kind of think I'm thinking of.

 

[Viola]

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Originally Posted by KirstenMary I agree with you. I have, however, known mamas who will say that thay made the choice to FF when they were actually physically unable to BF. For many mamas, being unable to BF feels like a major failure.

I haven't experienced this either, but I could see it happening. It might be difficult to want to do something that your body can't do, and it is easier to take if you can think of it as a well thought out choice. I know I have this issue in some aspects of my life. So then the problem comes if you start being confronted with the fact that the choice you were forced to make really wouldn't be the best one or the one you would pick if you could. Then it could be difficult.

Actually, thinking about it there was a mom on a breast vs. bottle board I was on who decided not to breastfeed for a number of compelling reasons, and I did get the feeling she was upset about it, but she was not a breastfeeding advocate and was on the side of trying to bolster the bottle side of the debate. I was actually moved by her post where she was talking about why didn't breastfeed, and I expressed sympathy. She thought I was being patronizing, I guess, and said something kind of sarcastic in response, so I e-mailed her and explained that I was being sincere. Then she admitted she was very defensive because of how mean people had been to her and she was at the point where she felt everything was a slam.

I decided that breast v. bottle debate was pointless because it did nothing for advocacy and was just a place for people to bash each other when they were in that kind of a mood.