[janellesmommy]

Who here has lied about their due date or LMP to their midwife? I lied about my due date to my midwife , as well as everyone else except DH. I told my midwife that my LMP was 7 days later than it actually was, so that I wouldn't be forced into induction until 43 weeks.

Turns out I gave birth at 41 weeks, 1 day (40 weeks, 1 day according to her records), so lying wasn't necessary. But it sure made my pregnancy a lot less stressful! Otherwise, I would have been terrified of induction.

I plan to lie again with my next pregnancy, but probably by 4 days instead of 7, since 2nd babies tend to come a little earlier. There's a fine line, because under 37 weeks, they won't do a homebirth.

-- Paula

 

[veganmamma]

I plan to have a midwife who is comfortable with me going "overdue." That way I never have to lie to her.

 

[plantmommy]

Well, EDD is also up for interpretation...
Last dd was nearly 42 weeks, and my midwife and I tried to pin-point exact date of ovulation, which we negotiated in our favor (OH! Lookit that! EDD is off by a few days since we miscalculated!) and put off the NSS that her OB backup wanted. We got to call and cancel the appt. when I was in labor.

This time, we calculated in my "long cycle" to figure an EDD later than it might otherwise have been.

I would never lie to my midwife, although re-interpreting various data for the backup works for both of us!

 

[janellesmommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by veganmamma I plan to have a midwife who is comfortable with me going "overdue." That way I never have to lie to her.

I know of no midwives who are comfortable past 42 weeks. If I did find one who was comfortable up to 43 weeks, you're right, there would be no reason to lie. Except perhaps to family and friends, who might not be so comfortable.

-- Paula

 

[plantmommy]

That's a shame. My dd didn't look "post-dates" at all, was a nice 7.5 lbs and the placenta was, as my midwife said "Beautiful, perfect, and so big and healthy!"

 

[veganmamma]

Oh heck yeah I'd lie to family and friends. :LOL It's hard to find a midwife who is far out there, I know, but when I am a midwife, I hope my clients never lie to me.

 

[CryPixie83]

I've been really upfront with my dates to both my midwives and my OB. My midwives have never even brought up induction for post-date, in fact in one of their support group meetings they explained how going post-date isn't that big of a deal (concerning the way the placenta begins to die off in very small spots, as opposed to the whole thing becoming useless as doctors have some women believing). I'm seeing OB strictly as a back-up and she knows this, so if she brings up inductions I'll explain to her that I will *not* be inducing for going past 42 weeks and that if she is uncomfortable with it I'll simply stop seeing her until after I've had the baby.

I can see, though, why women would lie about dates, since many practitioners are obsessed with getting baby out as soon as possible (heck on the mainstream board I visit their docs are inducing at 38 weeks for no reason other than convenience...

: ) Luckily my midwives are wise enough to trust the mother's body enough to safely keep baby until it's time to comeout naturally

 

[janellesmommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by veganmamma when I am a midwife, I hope my clients never lie to me.

I actually read a post by a midwife on a midwive's discussion board saying that she wished her clients would lie to her about their due date, so that they could go past 42 weeks. She herself felt comfortable past 42 weeks, but because of the professional standards in the community, she did induce at 42 weeks.

-- Paula

 

[flminivanmama]

I didn't but we decided that if I went past dates that we would say I never got my period back after the birth of my twins since I was nursing and that we couldn't be sure when I got pregnant when in fact I had gotten my period back very early and had it all along... in fact I had my period for the first 2 months of that pregnacy and the first three months with my twins LOL

 

[plantmommy]

It's stupid, this whole post-dates thing! I mean, I have it for a fact that my dd simply wasn't ready to come out until she did, and this was not even a first baby being late, which is much more common. ds was born the day before his due date, and he was my first pregnancy. (oldest dd is adopted)

(sigh)

It's such a shame that the interventionists have to put "us" into the position of lying, but I can't blame you.

 

[veganmamma]

Quote:

Originally Posted by plantmommy It's such a shame that the interventionists have to put "us" into the position of lying, but I can't blame you.

I agree. 42 weeks is full term just as much as 40 weeks is. Going past 42 weeks is actually "overdue." Even then, the risk of problems is very low. There is post dates and then there is dysmature. I am so sick of the whole 40 weeks is term and after that is overdue. EDDs are effing stupid. Stupid. STUPID!! AAAAAAHHHHHH. It creates pressure to have your baby within a certain amount of time and that just isn't reasonable. Dammit.

 

[onlyboys]

I didn't really lie, but I did tell them the day I ovulated instead of the date of my LMP. They asked and I told them I wasn't going to tell them. It moved my EDD up a bit which I was having none of.

Can midwives not take into consideration what's "normal" for each individual woman?

I had an acquaintance who told me, "My mom went to 44 weeks. I expected to go over my due date, basically because of genetics." Her OB induced at 40.5 weeks and she ended up with a cesarian birth because of the induction.

Can a midwife listen to this and act accordingly?

 

[plantmommy]

ARGH! That's terrible.

There's so much variability, that there should be as much variability in what is considered "term". With both ds and dd, I ovulated and conceived on day 17 of 29 day cycles. This time, I conceived on day 14 of my cycle.

Hmm. Actually, this is making me think maybe I will go a little early this time, but I hope not before 38 weeks, since my midwife will be out of the country!

 

[Lucysmama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by janellesmommy I know of no midwives who are comfortable past 42 weeks. If I did find one who was comfortable up to 43 weeks, you're right, there would be no reason to lie. Except perhaps to family and friends, who might not be so comfortable. -- Paula

I would keep looking.....my MW has delivered many 43 weekers and one 44 weeker who was sure about her dates.

Oh, and FWIW, I'm not LYING to family and friends....I'm just not telling. They say, "When are you due...?" and I just smile and say, "Oh...October-ish." It's driving everyone nuts. Added bonus.

 

[copslass]

With the last two pgs I learned to add 5-7 days to my LMP.

Those babies were both actually born at 42.5wks.

I call it self-defense.

 

[bionicsquirrel]

Well, I wish I had known enough to lie about my dates. I had no idea until I was 41 weeks (according to LMP, which I knew was wrong but it was already too late) that going "over" would lead to induction and my midwife did not back me up at all. She just said sorry and handed me over to a consulting doc who I had never even met. He actually said to me, over the phone, in a terrible mean and insensitive voice, "I haven't seen a woman at 43 weeks since 1983 and I won't let it happen under my watch." I was 43 weeks when induced (unhappily), but the ped. who checked out ds after birth said he doubted that the babe was more than 40 1/2. It still makes me want to scream...those *&*#@!**'s.
Heck yeah, I would lie for sure. This is my body and my baby!

 

[Tiacsophno]

EDD stress was one reason I opted to do a homebirth with #2.

I ovulate late, and I know this because I charted my basal body temps and used OPKs when we were ttc. For my first pg, I ovulated on Day 29 (instead of Day 14) so the CNM's wheel said I was due on March 17 instead of April 1st! My CNM said she believed my dates, and she put the April 1 EDD in my chart, but the AFP test was sent out using the early EDD and so came back "bad" and required a type II ultrasound and genetic counseling which included recommendation for an amniocentesis. We declined the amnio, and asked SEVERAL times for them to just recalculate the values using the corrected dates. I even brought them my charting info which the counselor completely dismissed and she actually mocked my detailed recordkeeping. Finally they did recalculate the numbers and my AFP values were completely fine. Then, I developed slightly elevated BP at the end of my pg, and the CNM wanted to induce me on my April 1 due date. I wonder if she simply considered me to be at 42 weeks? Fortunately, I went into labor on my own on March 28th and had a fairly positive hospital birth experience.

With pg #2, I started with the same CNM practice. This time I had ovulated on Day 21. The CNM recommended an early u/s to "check dates" and I felt like I had to do it to protect myself from potential pressure to induce later on. So I had the u/s (which, of course, confirmed my EDD) but the CNM still put the early date on my chart! When I questioned her about it, she basically said that, "oh, it's just 5 days different, what does it matter?" and I thought, it SHOULDN'T matter, but I feel like when it came down to the wire, she would look at the numbers instead of ME. This gnawed at me for months until I finally switched to homebirth midwife at 33 weeks. So glad I did. #2 came spontaneously before 42 wks, but at least I didn't have to worry about being pressured to induce before 42 wks.

I wouldn't lie to my midwife (CNM or CPM) about my EDD, but I expect them to trust that I know what my EDD is.

 

[nmm2112]

A friend of my younger sister has a brother with CP - he was born at 46 wks!!! This was about 20 yrs ago, but still! The Mom at that time was young (20), not informed about much at all (her own words) and trusted her OB. Who she now believes should have been forced out of practice. I just think that her story is so tragic. Who knows, maybe the OB lost his license in one state and then just moved to another.... The medical world has all sorts of control and "grandfather" laws to help themselves. Makes me sad and angry.

 

[janellesmommy]

From what I've read and heard, it is the rule rather than the exception for midwives, nurses, and OBs to insist on calculating EDD by a 28 day cycle. That's why I play their own game. I calculate my fake LMP by subtracting seven days from my ovulation date. Then I simply tell them I have 28 day cycles, ovulating on day 14, and all is well, and I get to go to 43 weeks, if I need to.

-- Paula

 

[bionicsquirrel]

Quote:

Originally Posted by nmm2112 A friend of my younger sister has a brother with CP - he was born at 46 wks!!! This was about 20 yrs ago, but still! The Mom at that time was young (20), not informed about much at all (her own words) and trusted her OB. Who she now believes should have been forced out of practice. I just think that her story is so tragic. Who knows, maybe the OB lost his license in one state and then just moved to another.... The medical world has all sorts of control and "grandfather" laws to help themselves. Makes me sad and angry.

Well, gee, I have a friend who gave birth to her ds at exactly 40wks and he was born with cp. Guess what else, it was a homebirth, so this must mean that homebirths are bad, right. Also, she was in labor for three days, so that must mean that he was deprived of oxygen and her midwife should be forced out of practice for not rushing her to the hospital after 24 hours and getting her a c-section.

Sorry for my sarcasm, but honestly, if we used the friend of a friend story line, then homebirth would probably not be allowed at all and no woman would have the right to trust their bodies. Let's not plant the seed of negativity here, things do happen, but I think your case mentioned is extreme.