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how is he reacting to the separation with the STBX?
this could be a major factor in his stress, as well as the new baby.

i just finished reading Hold on to your kids by Gordon Neufeld and highly recommend it. (not sure if it is already on, but it is on

he talks about ways of attaching, and attachment disruption in older children. and he would say that your circumstances fit into his theory.

he talks about socialisation and attachment to peers rather than to parents, and this kind of thing can happen when there is stress in the family.

if you had considered homeschooling in the past, have you thought about unschooling as suiting your ds better than traditional instruction? especially coming out of Waldorf.

sorry, not much advice. just HUGS.
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