[BelovedK]

Do any of you have a DC who has cheated on a test? DS (10) told STBX that he is no good in school and has been cheating ot tests bc he is so bad at everything (quote)
We have always had trouble with him and tantrums , even at 10, and he has just transferred from a Waldorf school to a more traditional school.

He also lies about everything, and of course doesn't ever admit it, even when its obvious that he's been caught.

Now that school is over i don't know what to do...since he has such low self esteem i don't want him held back again in the 3rd grade, i also don't want him to stink next year at school work....he is so hard to teach bc of his frustration tolerance, hence i'm not homeschooling him as was planned.

anyone have any gentle ideas ? stbx and i disagree on the direction to take and i'm ready to act on something .

Blessings
K

 

[BelovedK]

Thanks Dar,

We've gone through much of what you suggest, talking to his teacher who thinks he is doing fine , of course she never knew that he had been cheating. I do appreciate that he told STBX about it. He is now blossoming as a reader and i think it is helping his self esteem, that is something he never learned at the Waldorf school.

He is part of a title one program at the school which is a small , private school , i think it is helping him. I guess it is a good idea to just gently talk to him about it, he gets so angry and goes into rages and when that happens there is no way to access him until the fit is over. He thinks something is wrong with him bc we have been so concerned about all of the behavoir. I should mention that he steals things from me and when confronted with the fact, he denies it...the lying.

This child seems desperate for something and i don't know what we have done wrong...forgive me for getting so emotional but when we talk about tutoring he goes into one of his fits and i just don't know what to do ~~~K

 

[BelovedK]

STBX= soon to be ex.

Weallow DS 1/2 hr of tv a day so he can watch his favorite show, we sometimes take it away from him so i guess that is punishment.

It's hard to know how to handle DC bc he will steal for seemingly no reason and lie about it...its not that he wants attention, maybe he steals my stuff (jewelry, etc) to feel closer to me since his little sis was born who was ~very~ attatched...gotta go real quick

 

[BelovedK]

Great suggestion Annabanana, i had thought of the prospect of unschooling but am going through so much personally right now that i can't even fathom it right now (good thing it's summer) I think i will check out both your and Dars book suggestions, i need help .

When he is throwing a fit, i don't tell him that, it is just a way to describe what is going on...it is like he locks onto one aspect of a situation and will not think of anything else and works himself (and us) up into a froth.

There is a family history of bipolar disorder in our family as well as suicides and it scares me . DS has mentioned "hating" himself and that life is not worth living" and other things about wanting to die. He even told me that he was mad at me for giving birth to him ...those were his exact words too

We have him in with a play centered therapist who he seems to have some sort of rapport with, don't know how to gently discipline him without setting him off or just letting him go

Blessings
~K~