[Lindsay1234]

So my hubby and I were talking today and I feel SOOO regretful for getting that amnio. I feel like we were completely railroaded into it and Im actually kind of pissed now! We didnt stick to our original plans of no invasive treatments unless absolutely necessary. Well, figuring out if its one of 2 easily dealt with syndromes is NOT necessary! (to me)

It seemed to me that the genetics counselor played on our emotions when she told us that we could mentally prepare for whats going to happen, that we could go on community boards and meet people in Sacramento with the same thing and while that sounded reassuring at the time, I have my family and close friends for support if or when that time comes. SHe also said that my pregnancy would be different with an abnormality, the baby will be very small and fragile but birth would be the same. Well, Im halfway done and Im fine and the baby is the perfect weight and height so SOMETHING is working right! AND when I asked her if we could take the day and think it over because both David and I were VERY overwhelmed with all the info, she said "Well today is really the only chance you have, we have time, the doc is here and our appointments fill up fast you wouldnt be able to get one" so we had to do it 15 minutes after we had the u/s.

The last thing Im realizing is that on the first u/s they DEFINITELY saw all these problems, the level 2, they didnt see ANY of the big ones seen in the first but "think" they saw a heart defect and the nuchal fold is "barely noticeably thick" I asked her how thick it was and she said" not much, but I did notice it".

So, finally after all this bi*ching I just did, our decision is to NOT get the results of the amnio and stay in this peaceful bliss

: that we are experiencing over being blessed with another daughter. And also to wait until the baby is bigger (farther along) to go to the cardioligist. Her tiny heart is SO small, (but its obviously working because shes right on track), that I think that waiting till its bigger would be beneficial because they could get better pics and wouldnt have to guess.

So I need your honest advice, does anybody think I should see the cardiologist now? (Ill call my mw tomorrow) Would there be anything seen on an echo now that cant wait a couple months?

 

[mom2sol]

Oh, I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this.
You just have to follow your gut and your heart.

Personally when it comes to this, I prefer to be blissfully unaware. I don't do any of the testing. I've had two very healthy babies and I'm planning on a third. I think bliss is a much better state of mind to be in for a healthy pregnancy than chronic worry.

So, what ever will make you feel better is my answer

 

[wobblykate]

If baby appears healthy otherwise and you're obviously going to give birth to her no matter what, I can't see how it matters whether you go to the cardiologist now or later. In the end, it's your choice. It sounds like they really pulled a number on you that day. They might as well hit you with a ton of bricks and ask you to parallel park a hummer.

 

[fairymom]

It seems to me you did get railroaded.you made an important decision to not know the results,but I would make yourself clear and loud that you don't want to know anything at all appts. they may start to "leak" info to help you "prepare" for delivery.i feel you know whats best for yourself and how much info you need and when you need it,also consider your dh feelings he is a big part of this and should have his feelings addressed.Also if he has a strong opinion like yours you might want to use him as your voice.I have found that medical personal use us mommies sensitivities to their benefit- very manipulative.And using the strong voice (dh/dp) to say no gets heard better.
We've had the opposite experience as you.DH has a lot of concerns about baby because of DH history (was in Marines and suffered severe radiation poisoning of 400 rads-poisoning is usually 100 rads+) and the fact he was told he'd never have kids(only35% chance).We've has to fight tooth and nail to get the few test we've had and then they would not call with results-we ended up tracking them down.The most recent of these events was over the thanksgiving holiday which made it very hard to be grateful.
Stick to your guns and do what feels right the answers will come when they are sopposed too.
BIG Hugs!

 

[wobblykate]

fairymom,

. Hope you got the answers you were looking for!

 

[MI_Dawn]

So you had the u/s and the amnio - and now the doc knows the results, but you don't? Do I have that right? And you're thinking you don't want to know?

I think the only reason I WOULD want to know is if it was something that could be corrected now, in utero. (Very rare, but it does happen...)

So I might tell the doc, "Listen, unless you are 100% sure you have found some sort of anomaly that we can do something about RIGHT NOW, while baby is still in utero, I don't want to know anything more."

The only other reason I can think of is the birth. If the baby has some sort of defect that requires a c-section, they'd have to tell you that...

But all that aside, the baby is very small, comparatively, right now. All the "bad stuff" they thought they saw at 18 weeks were gone by 20, right? And the heart, compared to the rest of the baby, is sooooo tiny. Imagine how tiny a 20 wk baby's fist is... that's the size of the heart they're trying to see all four chambers and the ventricles of.

Waiting to see the cardiologist makes a huge amount of sense in light of that!

 

[Lindsay1234]

Thanks guys! I KNEW I was doing the right thing but sometimes its hard for me to "see in" to the situations and I wonder if I AM doing the right thing!

So I talked to my mw and she thinks that I am making a great decision and that she thinks its a logical (instead of my usual irrational

) one.

To clear the amnio thing up for everyone, I had it on Tues (no results for 10-14 days) but they were only looking for Downs or Turners specifically. Neither are life threatening or painful for me or the baby.

The cardio appt. My mw said she will go with me!! If the problem can wait to be fixed (IF there is a problem) I can have a hb, if its a major one that needs constant and immediatete work, Ill be at the hospital.

And thanks for the advise of warning EVERY doc that i dont want to know!! I didnt even think of that and I know they always go over every single thing during the appt.

 

[RomanGoddess]

Just wanted to pop in to say that I am really sorry you had to be put through all of this anxiety and pain. I had the amnio early last week, too. I did it because one of my blood tests (the PAPP-A) came out with unusually low results linked to downs syndrome and, although I was completely at peace with not bothering with an amnio, DH did not have peace of mind. He has already conceived one DS child in a previous marriage and is very afraid of conceiving another one. His anxiety could not be allayed without amnio results.

Apart from considerations of my DH, the amnio is not a procedure that I would have done or that I would do again, absent obvious indications on an ultrasound that something was clearly wrong.

I hope that rest of your pregnancy is full of happiness and bliss.

 

[Lindsay1234]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RomanGoddess Just wanted to pop in to say that I am really sorry you had to be put through all of this anxiety and pain. I had the amnio early last week, too. I did it because one of my blood tests (the PAPP-A) came out with unusually low results linked to downs syndrome and, although I was completely at peace with not bothering with an amnio, DH did not have peace of mind. He has already conceived one DS child in a previous marriage and is very afraid of conceiving another one. His anxiety could not be allayed without amnio results. Apart from considerations of my DH, the amnio is not a procedure that I would have done or that I would do again, absent obvious indications on an ultrasound that something was clearly wrong. I hope that rest of your pregnancy is full of happiness and bliss.

My Dh really wants to know the results too. Ugh. Did the docs tell you it wouldnt hurt too? I think im really upset about that. "Oh itll just feel like pressure." Pressure my butt!!! It was a horrible feeling!!

I hope you get the test results you want!!

 

[Lindsay1234]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fairymom It seems to me you did get railroaded.you made an important decision to not know the results,but I would make yourself clear and loud that you don't want to know anything at all appts. they may start to "leak" info to help you "prepare" for delivery.i feel you know whats best for yourself and how much info you need and when you need it,also consider your dh feelings he is a big part of this and should have his feelings addressed.Also if he has a strong opinion like yours you might want to use him as your voice.I have found that medical personal use us mommies sensitivities to their benefit- very manipulative.And using the strong voice (dh/dp) to say no gets heard better. We've had the opposite experience as you.DH has a lot of concerns about baby because of DH history (was in Marines and suffered severe radiation poisoning of 400 rads-poisoning is usually 100 rads+) and the fact he was told he'd never have kids(only35% chance).We've has to fight tooth and nail to get the few test we've had and then they would not call with results-we ended up tracking them down.The most recent of these events was over the thanksgiving holiday which made it very hard to be grateful. Stick to your guns and do what feels right the answers will come when they are sopposed too. BIG Hugs!

 

[RomanGoddess]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234 My Dh really wants to know the results too. Ugh. Did the docs tell you it wouldnt hurt too? I think im really upset about that. "Oh itll just feel like pressure." Pressure my butt!!! It was a horrible feeling!! I hope you get the test results you want!!

There were two doctors present. One said, "Okay, you're just going to feel a little pinprick now." Then the other one put the needle in and it HURT LIKE HELL!!!! I yelled about how much it was hurting and the other doctor explained that because I have all muscle and no fat on my stomach (I got lots of fat on my legs and butt to compensate!), it hurt more than usual. She could have explained that earlier on.

It continued to hurt for an hour after the procedure and DH kept going on about how it couldn't have hurt that bad, he didn't believe me, I was making too big a deal of the whole thing, etc.

 

[MI_Dawn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RomanGoddess I yelled about how much it was hurting and the other doctor explained that because I have all muscle and no fat on my stomach (I got lots of fat on my legs and butt to compensate!), it hurt more than usual.

Must be why I don't remember mine hurting that much.

<---is fluffy.

 

[Lindsay1234]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MI_Dawn Must be why I don't remember mine hurting that much. <---is fluffy.

But im more than fluffy, Im BIG!! (a size 16ish)

And My DH didnt say anything about me being a baby or anything because even HE was intimidated by the size of the needle!!!