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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
<p>Hi all,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know it seems a bit premature to worry about this now, but I would rather address the potential issue now, gradually and gently, rather than later on in a sleep deprived, emotional, postpartum state! </p>
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<p>Our daughter is 2.5 years old, and currently starts the night in her own bed, but then when she wakes up, she comes and sleeps in our bed, unless she wakes before I'm in bed, and then I try to get her back to sleep in her bed.  She joins us every night in our bed, at some point.  We like it, most of the time, as she goes right back to sleep.  However, sometimes she wakes up a little too much, or gets riled up, and has a scream fest.  Not fun.  We have a king size bed, so at the moment, the three of us fit just great.  However, I am concerned about when we have baby #2 if I will feel like we have enough space, or if I'm going to really regret not getting DD to stay sleeping in her own bed.  I am thinking that we'll have a bassinet or co-sleeper or something for the new one, but I do imagine she/he will be in the big bed too sometimes, to nurse.  I am worried about juggling the nighttime needs of two children.  Also, what am I going to do about bedtime??? Right now I sit with our daughter until she's asleep, which can take a long time, sometimes.  What am I going to do when I have two???  Does anyone else have the same or similar worries about going from one to two???</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thanks!!!</p>
 

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<p>I have a 6.5 y.o. and an almost 3 y.o. who come to our bed almost every night. We pretty much have musical beds. If it gets to tight for me I move into one of my kids beds. When Noah came along we installed a gate on both sides of the bed so that she could still come and stay on my DH's side between him and the gate instead of between him and the baby.</p>
<p>Now, I am not sure how we will handle it...time will tell....</p>
 

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<p>we have similar issues with our 18m DS. He starts out the night in his bed, and sometimes will spend the whole night in his, but recently he's been spending more and more time in our bed. We have a full bed (yeah, me DH and DS, in a FULL!!) There is no way we can sleep with baby and the three of us, so we are really trying to night wean, and get him in his own bed.</p>
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<p>If we had a bigger bed it wouldn't bother me, but we never planned on being cosleepers in the first place. I like sleeping alone (if DH would get his own bed I would be stoked :)) but nursing brought on the cosleeping. I needed sleep, and wasn't getting any constantly getting up. And DS was really really clingy. He wouldn't stand to sleep alone. At all, ever, even naps from day one.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That got long, but anyway, I am right there with you.</p>
 

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<p>We have just started alternating who puts Jackson to bed (he's 2.5)  so he will be used to dh putting him to bed when the baby comes and I won't be available every night.  It has been an adjustment (we're still adjusting).  but I think by the time the baby comes he will be used to it and more accepting of dh getting him to sleep.  I still get up with him in the night though and I am not sure what I will do when I am exhausted and trying to nurse the new one and get Jackson back to sleep too.  maybe dh will have to pull some night duty?  we'll have to see what happens.  Anyway, that is what is working for us so far!  Hope you figure something out. </p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
<p>I think we need to just start alternating who puts our daughter to bed.  It mostly falls to me because DH travels so much for work, that he is gone many weeknights.  But tonight DD said she wanted DH instead.  Then at the last minute, my presence was requested.  She pretty much fell asleep with a little "garden planting" on her back.  So maybe I need to be out of the house on the nights he does it, so that she will really get used to him getting her all the way asleep.  I am scared of how we are going to handle two, though!!!  Yikes.  I guess we'll have to find a "new normal" just like we did the first time around.  Thanks everyone!</p>
 

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<p>i was just plain miserable last night.  something's gotta give around our home, for sure.  dd is 1 and we cosleep, but she is an all.night.nurser.  plus she is a light sleeper.  i just know that when it kicks in and i am having to get up to pee a billion times, it's going to get ugly.  we're going to try putting a mattress next to the bed and see if she can sleep longer and nurse less in that situation, and it might be less likely to wake her up if i move around.  i am reading the NCSS and we're talking about moving that mattress back to her room (where she's never actually slept on it) after a bit.  she'll be welcome to come join us in the big bed but i am super worried about all night boobie fest and waking her up more than necessary (it's a cycle..)</p>
<p>in short: PANIC MODE!!!</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<p>ugh, hildare, I feel for you!  I can't imagine being pregnant and still nursing a little peanut at night.  My daughter was like that too, at that age.  When she got to be, oh, about 21 months, I just couldn't do it anymore, and I nightweaned her.  She cried the first night, the second night, less, and the third night was okay.  It was funny, in the morning when she woke up from the first night when I wouldn't let her nurse, she said, "I was sad and I cried." but then after that everything was okay.  But she was a lot older than your daughter is.  Maybe in another few months you will be able to cut back on the nighttime nursing.  I do remember how hard that was for me.  Good luck with it.</p>
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<p>Lately, I have been resorting to driving my daughter around til she falls asleep.  Well, I pick her up at my parents and she falls asleep in the car on the way home.  Sure does take the pressure off bedtime!</p>
 

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Hildare, I am with you! My DS is only 13 months and also nurses all.night.long. (Weren't you in my DDC, October 09??)<br><br>
I'm glad we made the decision to put DS in his own bed last month, which I think will help come July. But he is used to having me or DH, usually me, sleep beside him all night long (I only sneak back to my own bed for a couple hours at a time while he's asleep.) When he wakes in the night, which happens many many times, he most definitely cannot go back to sleep without Mama/"nunn nunn."<br><br>
I have no idea how this is going to work. My baby and I are not ready to wean or to even night wean! I'm freaking out. Gotta make some kind of plan!
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>radicaleel</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1279022/making-sleep-changes-now-before-baby-arrives#post_16055573"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br>
Weren't you in my DDC, October 09??<br>
that was me!!<br><br>
I have no idea how this is going to work. My baby and I are not ready to wean or to even night wean! I'm freaking out. Gotta make some kind of plan!</div>
</div>
<p>yeah, we're not either.  i dragged a mattress in and so far she's starting out the night in her "own" bed.  i'm going to try some NCSS stuff.  i just realized last night that if i wasn't feeling like nursing when she was wanting to, i could actually tell her no and she would find her thumb.  (though it makes me feel like a meanie)</p>
<p>i am thinking that i will wake her up less when she has more space to sleep rather than right up next to me.  so i guess we're going to transition away from cosleeping rather than lose the nursing.  :( <br>
 </p>
 

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<p>radicaleel, how's it going?</p>
<p>we had the worst night ever last night.. like a genius, i decided it would be a good time to let dd try dairy again.  she fed herself a cup of yogurt with enthusiasm but screamed and demanded b00bie all night long.  back to square one.  this long week off work i am going to make a solid effort to get her out of the bed though. </p>
<p>did you make a plan yet?  will you share? </p>
 

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<p>DDCC -</p>
<p>We started moving DS into his own bed when we were pregnant last year so we are about 1 year into it and suprisingly it is going great.  We started with him in the bed and then I would move him into his bed (in our room) when he fell asleep.  Later I would start the night in his bed and nurse him to sleep.  When I lost my milk we would read and I would sit with him until he fell asleep.  We moved him into his own room about 4 months ago and did the same routine for a while until I just got sick of sitting and waiting on his bed until he fell asleep.  For about a month. I will read him a story and tuck him in and then go to bed, he will talk to us and we reassure him that he is okay and after about 15 minutes he will fall asleep.  The last week or so he has been requesting that I leave his light on and he will "read" for a little while and will call to me to turn his light off, I give him a kiss and the last few nights he has just quietly gone to sleep <span><img alt="joy.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gif" style="width:42px;height:39px;"></span></p>
 

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<p>It's funny you should ask--the past 2 nights have also been the worst nights ever for me!  Between having a runny nose and cutting molars, DS has been up pretty much every hour.  As soon as I manage to fall asleep despite my constantly full bladder and night-nausea, he wakes me up again.  I’m so tired.<br><br>
DS is already in his own bed in his own room (across the hall from ours) but I'm not sure if that totally counts because one of us almost always sleeps in there with him.  I go back to my bed usually after he falls asleep, but at the first night waking I go back in there with him.  I'm fine with this setup for now...<br><br>
The problem for us is too many night wakings, and he has a very hard time going back to sleep without nursing.  On the weekends my husband goes to him in the night and has to walk with him for an hour, sometimes more, to get him back to sleep.  Often my husband gives up from exhaustion and I end up going in to nurse him anyway.  There were a few awesome nights where I actually got a 4-hour stretch of sleep, woke up to nurse, and then got another 4 hours, but at the expense of DH’s sleep.<br><br>
I don’t think I want to totally night wean, but I really do want these all-night-nursing-marathons to stop.  I am not getting any rest and I feel awful.  I used to be able to sleep through most of the nursing, just waking up to switch sides, but pregnancy insomnia is really working against me now.<br><br>
So far, my plan…I think I’m going to have to enlist DH big time to help cut out some of the night nursing.  He will go to sleep for DH with just walking (eventually anyway) but if I’m there he just wants the num nums.  CIO is NOT an option for us.  So I’m afraid DH is going to have to have some sleepless nights even during the work-week.  I am dreading asking him but I don’t see any other way.  I think I’m going to talk to him about doing night-duty maybe just a couple nights a week to start.<br><br>
I’m also hoping that things will get easier on their own once the teething storm passes…</p>
 

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<p>Our first was 16 months when we found out we were pg with DD2.  We didn't do anything different the whole pregnancy.  She still slept with us.  When DD2 was born, we did end up putting a toddler bed in our room and she'd sleep there for a few hours.  We ended up with both in bed at night, but separated from each other.  I ended up weaning DD1 at 27 months because I couldn't handle tandem nursing. </p>
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<p>Trying to have them in another bed was just too hard for me.  I wanted to sleep and them waking me up just wasn't making me any happier.  I do remember nights of DH and I both walking the hall with them and having to switch off between the two of them.</p>
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<p>When I realized I was pg with DS, I weaned DD2 quickly.  She was 28 months.  They were both in and out of our bed, but they also had a full-size bed together, which at least gave them someone to sleep next to.</p>
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<p>We have had all three in and out of our beds forever.  I don't think it'll be an issue for us because DS will be 5 when the sand flea is born.  He's pretty good at sleep through the night now, once I get him to sleep and he stopped nursing right at 3 years old. </p>
 

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<p>feel the pain of still nursing while pregnant. My daughter will be a year next week, and still nurses all night long. Starting to feel nervous about what I will do when the real pregnancy fatigue hits.</p>
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<p>As for the bed situation - we planned on having my 2 year old in his bed before my daughter was born, which happened. But once baby came, he wanted back into our bed (King Size), and I felt to bad to deny him. So now all four of us share the bed, and while it can be cozy - it actually as worked out pretty nicely. Not sure what I will do with the third though...</p>
 
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