[deleria]

I know I'm not the first one on MDC to be a bit disappointed with her birthing options. In my province with my history and the long, long waiting list for a midwife, birthing in a hospital or going UC are my only options.

Having had long, difficult labours and one cesarean, I don't feel comfortable going unassisted. Midwives don't do hospital care here, so my choice was a doctor. I'm fortunate that our family doc knew another family doc who works in a non-OB practice at our local hospital. Unfortunately, said hospital is not terribly baby-friendly. Thankfully, it's our third child and I feel very confident in my abilities to do quite well birthing with only minimal monitoring and help. I'm very confident I can breastfeed with no guidance from their staff.

I'm trying to remain very positive about this birth despite that I can't plan the ideal homebirth or birthing center birth I would have liked to have.

Is anyone else birthing in less-than-ideal circumstances? What have you been doing to mentally prepare yourself?

 

[Tori Gollihugh]

I can't comment in a helpful way regarding your specific question, but I did want to suggest striking up a friendship, or asking a good friend, to attend your birth as a help/advocate. I say this because my situation was less than idea last time and my husband was inexperienced... so he didn't know he COULD stand up for stuff in the way we know he can now... so he didn't and I ended up feeling very disappointed.

Also, studies suggest that female companionship (especially doulas) result in fewer "helps" in hospital settings. Sometimes all we need is another chica telling us we CAN do it! I know that made a big difference for me last time... having my Mom in attendance... she'd done it, she KNEW I could do it and I did!

I'm sorry I'm not more helpful with regard to your current situation. I can tell you, though, that even though I'm in a much more ideal situation, I'm still feeling very much the need to prepare mentally for everything.

*sigh* I KNOW it's not the same, though!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

 

[maxymum]

I totally agree. It is so unfortunate that there are so few options for healthy moms to deliver healthy babies. I am struggling with this as I am expecting twins which equals delivery in the OR and probably many medical interventions. I have a doula assisting me and have a birth plan but I feel real stressed out about the birth still. Where I live, it is not legal for me to deliver in a birth center or at home with a midwife. Crazy. Trying to stay positive, too. I will probably try to get involved as much as I can (after I get my head above water) to try to change these facts/make a difference. Paige

 

[caricandothis]

I will be delivering in a hospital as well, the same hospital as I delivered my last child. I had a positive experience with her birth then although this time I have different expectations and requirements (I let them break my water last time, agreed to Nubain in my IV, I won't be having those things this time...am much more educated this time around

). I have done a boat load of research and preparation for this birth and feel very confident that I will get the birth experience I am planning on. My OB is very hands off, for the most part, and I am also confident that she will be accepting of my birth plan (which I have typed up and will present to her at my next appt).

My advice to you is to be VERY CLEAR as to what you want and what you don't want. Do up a birth plan and give it to your doctor right now.

Good luck, mama! I hope you get the birth experience you want and deserve.

 

[BCmamaof6]

I feel for you mama.

In each of our last 3 births we had planned homebirths with midwives which ended up being hospital-transfer, pitocin, antibiotics (all 3 times due to PROM). So...I totally understand not being to have the birth that you'd like.

 

[mamajody]

Well, I certainly won't be having my perfect birth this time, but I am learnig to live with it. I will be back at the same hospital as last time, and they have a very strict protocol. With my GD I will be required to have an IV, and I will have to have constant monitoring. This means no shower, no tub, no walking. Because I will be delivering twins this time I will be in the OR no matter what kind of birth I ultimately have. They are very insistent on placing an epidural in case I require an e-mergency c-section. I am refusing the medication, but I may agree to placing the catheter in advance. Of course this is assuming I even meet the criteria for vaginal delivery. If I don't have 2 head down babies no dice.

How am I coping? My greates desire is 2 healthy babies that won't need to be in the NICU. I will do ANYTHING to achieve that, and hang my birth plans if necessary. If I have the go ahead for vaginal delivery I don't plan to show up until I absolutely have to. My mother and DH will be attending, and they are clear about my priorities if I cannot speak for myself. My DH will remain with the babies and my mother will remain with me if we have to be split up after delivery. It is really tough coming to terms with a less than ideal birth situation, but knowing where your prioritie lie will help make the situation better.

 

[starlein26]

I hope it's a million times better than you anticipate!

 

[mamajody]

I won't be having my dream birth. I am high risk for 2 reasons, and I may be forced into a c-section despite my best efforts. I won't be allowed to walk, shower, drink/eat, labor in a tub, or labor outside of an OR for that matter. If I make it to 36 weeks without anymore complications I may have time for both babies to turn. I am still holding out for a vaginal delivery.

Know what your priorities are and pick your battles. That is all you can do when you are not in your optimal environment. The staff may not be happy with many of your choices because most of their patients go with the flow. I found going with procedures like the monitor and the IV without an issue allowed me the extra time to labor and push her out on my own because the staff was willing to meet me half way. Good luck.

 

[pumpkinsmama]

I'm making two birth plans, one for natural VBAC and one for C-section, that way if something happens I'll be prepared.

The section one states that I want to hold the baby if possible right away and try to establish nursing... which may be possible with a spinal, but prob not if it is emergency with knock out anasthesia.

I'm going to be very vocal about keeping the people in the room to a minimum, and not letting them do anything I disagree with. My prepared statement is... if you do that I will have you charged with assault!

I just try to remember that no amount of wishing will make the situation change and that I have to make the best of it.

Good luck to all of you! Happy birth wishes!

ETA: and if there are no medical reasons contrary, I'm going to stay out of the hospital until I am in Very active labor, my OB recommended this herself as a way to avoid unecesarry interventions.

 

[buddhasmomma]

This time around I am going to have
plan A: homebirth, waterbirth, with my 2 midwives and my sister and husband

plan B: hospital transfer to my favorite cnm for a vaginal delivery (with birth plan to be written)

plan C: c section again, with birth plan to be written, and favorite cnm as assistant

Last time I had a csection with no idea of what I wanted because "it wasn't going to happen to me" and I never thought about it.

I think a good way to mentally prepare yourself for a less than ideal birth place or birth attendant or anything is to plan exactly what you want in each situation. That way you will have more control than if you plan nothing. I am hoping of course for plan A, but am jumping through hoops so I can have my favorite second choice with me if something happens.

Good luck mamas! Write birth plans, have doulas (if you can)!