[Darryen]

I know on this board I am likely to get biased remarks but DH and I want both sides of the story. I have read a lot of the posts about regretting it later in life. I have also looked for factual knowledge online about why its good not to circumcise, but its all extremely biased. I would like some references that are medical and not emotional. Do they exist? I know you ladies are passionate about not getting it done but I also know you won't BS me. The women on this board seem very concerned about educated decisons so I think this is a good place to ask advice. We want to know all the options. Here are our concerns in case you are interested:

* The 5 or 6 men I have known in my life who are circ'ed do not like it. They complain of UTIs and infections, despite proper washing, and embarrassment. One man in particular has had so many problems with infections that he was hospitalized and has since had the foreskin removed as an adult. I assume his case is severe but still valid as it could happen to anyone.

* My husband's wasn't done correctly. Too much was taken off on one side and it tends to get warn down during intercourse, sometimes forcing him to take a couple days off from any stimulation. It isn't severe, but still bothers him. This too can happen to to anyone and I am hearing it happens more than it ought to. All surgery has risks and we know that.

I have heard that hygiene is not really a problem, but it has medical support. Can you explain to me why you all feel it is propaganda? I can't find supporting evidence that illness is not a reason to circ. Also the strongest support I can find is sexual pleasure, however, you can only really know who has more pleasure by talking to adults who circed themselves since you can't compare the pleasure of a man who doesn't know any different. All human's feel sex differently, not necessarily better or worse than another. I guess I am looking for some info that doesn't use scare tactics. They only shut me off to the idea and we don't want to make a decision because one side turned us off to the idea and the other didn't. That is a horrible reason to decide something but its all I can find. Thanks everyone.

 

[Papai]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darryen * The 5 or 6 men I have known in my life who are circ'ed do not like it. They complain of UTIs and infections, despite proper washing, and embarrassment. One man in particular has had so many problems with infections that he was hospitalized and has since had the foreskin removed as an adult. I assume his case is severe but still valid as it could happen to anyone.

Whoa. They ALL got UTIs? In adulthood? Even the data that promotes circumcision as reducing the risk for UTIs is only for the FIRST year of life. So if all of these men had UTIs in adulthood, it was a strange coincidence, but it likely had nothing to do with their foreskins. UTIs are much rarer in men than women. That's because their urethras are longer than women's, thus making bacterial infection of the urinary tract a little more difficult.

As for "infections" this is where I always

. WHAT kind of infections? People always throw out the phrases saying that intact men are more prone to infections or suffer chronically from infections. Well, WHAT infections specifically? If he's got balantitis, that's a fungal infection. If fungal infections are recurring, it's because you're doing something to expose your body to this fungii repeatedly. Circ'd men get yeast infections just like intact men. I've yet to run across any data that shows circ'd men get fewer yeast infections.

It's hard to talk about your friend's case without understanding what kind of infections he was suffering from and what treatments were applied to his case.

Speaking as an intact man, coming from a family of intact men, we've never had problems like UTIs or chronic infections.

Quote:

* My husband's wasn't done correctly. Too much was taken off on one side and it tends to get warn down during intercourse, sometimes forcing him to take a couple days off from any stimulation. It isn't severe, but still bothers him. This too can happen to to anyone and I am hearing it happens more than it ought to. All surgery has risks and we know that.

OUCH! Sorry for your husband. Has this experience made him lean more toward not circing?

Quote:

I have heard that hygiene is not really a problem, but it has medical support. Can you explain to me why you all feel it is propaganda?

WHERE? What medical support exists that shows circumcised penises are more hygenic than intact ones?

Quote:

I can't find supporting evidence that illness is not a reason to circ.

What illnesses? The only one "illness" that would be a good reason for circ is gangrene. There's a condition, phimosis, that might warrant circumcision, but it's by far the most drastic treatment for it.

Quote:

Also the strongest support I can find is sexual pleasure, however, you can only really know who has more pleasure by talking to adults who circed themselves since you can't compare the pleasure of a man who doesn't know any different. All human's feel sex differently, not necessarily better or worse than another. I guess I am looking for some info that doesn't use scare tactics.

I agree with you. Sexual pleasure isn't the most convincing argument against circumcision. It's subjective and not easily demonstrable or measurable, even if the argument has merit.

To me, the strongest support against circumcising your son has nothing to do with sexual pleasure and everything to do with a child's right to autonomy and self-determination. The ONLY permanent, non-therapeutic surgery that parents are allowed to force on their children is circumcision. If you wanted to snip off any other part of your child's body for cosmetic reasons, no doctor would do it. Once this decision is made, your son is left with a scar on his penis and a missing piece. Why is that ok? Shouldn't any pieces that are permanently removed be up to him? Why do boys need "fixing" and girls don't?

The other convincing argument to me are the complications: bleeding, MRSA infection, meatal stenosis, painful erections and glans amputation are ALL enough for me to say, NO WAY, JOSE.

 

[Oubliette8]

I highly recommend the CIRP library for nonbiased medical papers. http://www.cirp.org/library/

They have a section of the site that outlines everything quite basically for parents and caregivers, but the library has literally hundreds of published journal articles that do not support circumcision. Yes, the site is overall against circumcision, but they can back up with strong medical evidence.

You can probably spend several hours or days browsing through all the material.

For me the biggest factor is that I feel it is a human rights violation to remove healthy genital tissue from a child. It is illegal to so much as prick a baby girl with a pin, yet boys are unprotected. If my parents had say, removed my labia at birth, I might not miss them, and they really aren't essential pieces of my anatomy, but it would be judged as a gross violation of my rights and a crime. I think baby boys deserve the same.

Here are some other scientific links that are not on the CIRP site-

This tested penile sensitivity between intact and circumcised men- http://www.nocirc.org/touch-test/touchte… (note that other studies found no difference, but they neglected to test the sensitivity of the foreskin- they only tested the glans penis of intact and cut men and didn't pay any attention to the foreskin at all)

This study shows that circumcised men may be at INCREASED risk to spread HIV to their female partners- http://www.davidwilton.com/files/waw...t-on-women.pdf

This blog keeps up with the latest medical studies regarding circumcision and HIV prevention, and generally provides links to the original- http://www.circumcisionandhiv.com/

That should help get you started.

-Oubliette

 

[eepster]

Here is a paper from very non-biased source of information, the Canadian Pediatric Society. http://www.cps.ca/english/statements/FN/fn96-01.htm and their easier to read parent hand out http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/preg...rcumcision.htm

Generally, most infections intact men are caused by over cleaning. Just as a woman who uses soap to clean her vagina will usually end up throwing off the natural PH of the area which will lead to infections, men who use soap underneath the foreskin disrupt the natural PH and get the same infections women do. These infections can be easily treated with the exact same medicated creams (usually available over the counter) that women use.

If there are any other specific reasons you are considering circ, we can address them.

 

[WC_hapamama]

My 60 year old father is circumcised, and he's had several UTIs as an adult.

My 33 year old DH is intact, and has never once had a UTI. Nor have my intact 12, 10 and 3 year old sons.

 

[Darryen]

Very good information. Thank you. I found this link that is very educational. (Its a graphic, scientific movie fyi) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...o/prepuce.html I would be interested in more information like that where I can get the facts and weight them for ourselves.

To clarify (not really unfortunately) I do not know the "infections" he had and we haven't spoken in years so I couldn't find out. I never felt comfortable asking and at age 15 I didn't have any reason to think about it. It is definitely something I need to know about now though. Thank you for sharing your personal experience. I would be interested to hear from more men since we as women can not speak on your behalf (except if we are typing for a man of course).

My husband is concerned about having it done correctly if we decide to do it but he, like myself, is still completely open to both sides and we want to make the best decision. This is def. something we won't be deciding in the first couple weeks after birth when emotions are running high.

I find myself leaning towards leaving him intact for the reason that once its done, its done. But again, I want to make sure my decision is educated and not because I am "afraid". (I can't speak for my husband because he is still thinking about it and is stationed away from us at the moment so we can't talk all the time about it.)

 

[Papai]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darryen To clarify (not really unfortunately) I do not know the "infections" he had and we haven't spoken in years so I couldn't find out. I never felt comfortable asking and at age 15 I didn't have any reason to think about it. It is definitely something I need to know about now though.

Understandable. In the future, when people talk about foreskins and infections, try to get specifics. Infections are bacterial or viral, and the reasons you get them aren't usually a mystery.

Quote:

My husband is concerned about having it done correctly if we decide to do it but he, like myself, is still completely open to both sides and we want to make the best decision. This is def. something we won't be deciding in the first couple weeks after birth when emotions are running high.

Here's the catch: There's no such thing as a "correctly" done circumcision. There's no universally agreed method or amount of skin that will be removed. So each doctor uses their "discretion" and you can end up with unfortunate results, such as in the case of your husband. This is especially true because we're talking about INFANT penises, and the doctor has no way of knowing whether a "loose" circ in infancy, won't become tight in adulthood. You can't predict penis growth.

 

[Greg B]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darryen Very good information. Thank you. I found this link that is very educational. (Its a graphic, scientific movie fyi) http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...o/prepuce.html I would be interested in more information like that where I can get the facts and weight them for ourselves....

If you liked that piece, then you should also read this one:

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...tatement0.html

It covers most of the typical issues and does a good job of focusing on the human rights issue.

Keep in mind that a single benefit can not be used to make a good argument for circumcision. The decision needs to weigh all the benefits against the disadvantages. For instance, we could prevent all cases of testicular cancer by castrating all male children. This is ridiculous to consider because the small benefit of preventing cancer would be outweighed by the loss of hormonal balance and the inability to father children.

Be sure to weigh any supposed benefit of circumcision against the negative consequences, including: Pain, suffering, loss of sexual functioning and feeling for both the man and his future partners.

Regards

 

[LavenderMae]

I like to use logic and it's illogical that all (unless they have the rare birth defect aposthia) male babies are born with something that needs to be removed right after birth. It's illogical to think that American boys' foreskins are somehow flawed causing problems so severe surgical removal at birth is needed but 80% or more of the world's men are fine and healthy foreskin intact. It's illogical to remove a part of child's body because he has a small chance of having something go wrong that can almost always be remedied with out removing said body part. Circumcising infants is illogical at best.

 

[calngavinsmom]

Hello and welcome! It is great that you are researching this before your babe is born. So many parents put more thought into which stroller to buy than they do this issue

I am sure your concerns will be addressed here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darryen * The 5 or 6 men I have known in my life who are circ'ed do not like it. They complain of UTIs and infections, despite proper washing, and embarrassment. One man in particular has had so many problems with infections that he was hospitalized and has since had the foreskin removed as an adult. I assume his case is severe but still valid as it could happen to anyone. If they don't like not being circumcised, there is an easy fix.....get circumcised. It is actually much safer and easier for an adult to get circumcised than an infant. You have to scroll down on this article, but there is some great info here: http://www.cirp.org/library/anatomy/garcia/ * My husband's wasn't done correctly. Too much was taken off on one side and it tends to get warn down during intercourse, sometimes forcing him to take a couple days off from any stimulation. It isn't severe, but still bothers him. This too can happen to to anyone and I am hearing it happens more than it ought to. All surgery has risks and we know that. Unfortunately, circumcision complications are very common. Here is a list of common complications: http://www.circumcisionquotes.com/complications.html And the most common complication called meatal stenosis, happens in about 10% of circumcised boys! http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1016016-overview I have heard that hygiene is not really a problem, but it has medical support. Can you explain to me why you all feel it is propaganda? I can't find supporting evidence that illness is not a reason to circ. Also the strongest support I can find is sexual pleasure, however, you can only really know who has more pleasure by talking to adults who circed themselves since you can't compare the pleasure of a man who doesn't know any different. All human's feel sex differently, not necessarily better or worse than another. I guess I am looking for some info that doesn't use scare tactics. They only shut me off to the idea and we don't want to make a decision because one side turned us off to the idea and the other didn't. That is a horrible reason to decide something but its all I can find. Thanks everyone. You are right, Hygiene is not a problem for intact males, in fact, in the first three years of life specifically, hygiene is more difficult for a circumcised child: http://www.cirp.org/library/complications/vanhowe/ Circumcised: http://www.nocirc.org/publish/5pam.pdf Intact: http://www.nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf Also, circumcision is not recomended by any major health organization in the world, in fact many speak against it. http://www.cirp.org/library/statements/

Bottom line, circumcision is cosmetic surgery on an infant. It is not ethical. He can always choose to be circumcised as an adult, but if you circumcise him as an infant, his choice is taken away. If you have any other concerns, ask away and good luck to you!

 

[BlessedMommy2006]

Quote:

Originally Posted by calngavinsmom Bottom line, circumcision is cosmetic surgery on an infant. It is not ethical. He can always choose to be circumcised as an adult, but if you circumcise him as an infant, his choice is taken away. If you have any other concerns, ask away and good luck to you!

: My DH is circumcised and while he holds nothing against his parents, he wishes that it hadn't been done.

The foreskin is an important body part and it DOES have a function. It covers the man's glans and keeps it lubricated and moist. When that protective covering is taken away, then the internal organ is forced to become an external organ. Extra layers of skin, a process called keratinization, happens to protect his exposed glans. It dries out, just as your eyeballs would dry out if perpetually exposed to the elements without the protection of your eyelids.

This means that sex is typically less comfortable and the couple often has to use an artificial lubricant. The foreskin also contributes to the gliding motion during intercourse that cushions his ridge and keeps his partner from getting sore. The foreskin acts as a moisture seal and keeps natural lubricant in, rather than exposing the shaft to air with every thrust and drying things out.

Those are the primary reasons that my husband is unhappy being circumcised, because he is missing those functions. Thankfully, non-surgical foreskin restoration is an option and we are looking towards being more consistent with that, but it takes a LONG time. It's far easier and quicker to get circumcised as an adult, than to restore a foreskin as an adult.

ETA: My husband also occasionally had erections that were too tight and a bit painful. Until we researched circumcision and looked at the type of circs that were done, he had no idea that that was due to the doctor taking off a generous amount of skin during his circ.

Unfortunately, circ'ing is not an exact science. How much skin is removed is more a matter of guesswork than one would suppose.

 

[Quirky]

On the sexual side: it's a little-known fact that the foreskin, not the glans (head) of the penis is the most sensitive part and contains the most nerve endings of the penis. The nerve endings in the foreskin are highly sensitive like the ones in your fingertips, while the nerve endings in the glans are not so sensitive, more like the ones on the back of your hand.

This site (which is based on peer-reviewed papers in the British Journal of Urology on the structure and function of the foreskin) is very helpful in explaining the unique structures of the foreskin, that are 100% lost to circumcision no matter how "mild" the cutting is:

http://research.cirp.org

You can't remove half the nerve endings, destroy the frenulum (sometimes called the male clitoris for its sensitivity), destroy the gliding action of the foreskin, and make the penis shorter and narrower overall and NOT affect sexual functioning.

Also, you should know that it's very possible your friends' problems were because that back in the day, doctors gave very bad advice about cleaning intact penises. Mothers were told to retract the foreskin forcibly and wash underneath with soap. This would be exactly like washing the inside of a baby's vagina with soap -- first, tearing and scarring resulted from premature retraction of skin that was bonded like the fingernail is to the nailbed, and second, it upset the balance of the pH and the beneficial bacteria and introduced pathogens.

So many intact boys who "had" to be circed later in life would have been fine if their penises had been left alone. Instead, their penises were damaged by overzealous and inappropriate manipulation. And even then, the problems were likely fixable -- but doctors decided to amputate instead.

As far as infections -- I've had plenty of infections in my time. Multiple UTIs, yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis once. All of them unpleasant, but all of them easily treatable with over the counter or prescription medications.

We have lived in a circ-happy culture for so long, that the answer to every penis problem has been "cut off the foreskin." Can you imagine if you had a yeast infection or a UTI and the doctor advised surgery to remove part of your genitals?

All of the same problems that women get, men get too (but actually women get them at much greater rates). And all of these problems -- when they happen, which is pretty rare overall -- are easily treatable.

I am eternally grateful that I wasn't born in a country where they slice off girls' parts during childhood to promote "cleanliness" and prevent "infections." Because really, parts are parts -- the male foreskin has its equivalent in the female foreskin (the clitoral hood, aka the female prepuce). They develop from the same fetal tissue structures and only turn into different shapes because of hormones.

At the end of the day, I think it's not a hard question at all when you clear away some of the cultural baggage around circ and think about it as a human being -- would you be OK if your parents had cut off part of your genitals as a baby or child to prevent infections? (Or to look like mommy, or not get teased in the locker room, or whatever). Because boys and girls, men and women, are only different in very minor ways, and the human rights that protect girls from genital cutting apply to boys, too.

To learn about why reasons NOT to cut off healthy genital tissue at birth are now seen as "propaganda" or "biased," check out this slideshow on the history of circumcision. To understand our cultural obsession with circumcision, you really have to understand how we got here:

http://www.icgi.org/information/medicalization/

 

[ursaminor]

All I can say is,
reflect on the impact circumcision has had on your (and your DH's) life.
Most people do not have issues with 'infection'. My DH and brother have never had a UTI or infection in their lives and they are intact (besides the UTI/circ studies only showed lower UTI rates in infancy not adulthood). The intact women I know treat their infections without radical surgery.

We are biased for a person's right to choose whether or not to get circumcised. Just as many of us are biased that breast milk is the best nutrition for babies. There really are no "two sides of the story". Circumcision has been proven again and again to conquer no real benefit. No medical organization in world recommends it. I can only ask you, are there "two sides of the story" to Female Genital Mutilation?

There are many studies available at cirp.org

 

[Yulia_R]

This is a new very well made video called Circumcision Decision (20 min long)


They interview MDs as well as a victim of female circ compares the two. I highly recommend watching it with your partner.

 

[Darryen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greg B Keep in mind that a single benefit can not be used to make a good argument for circumcision. The decision needs to weigh all the benefits against the disadvantages.

Exactly. I couldn't put it any other way. I know its only been a day and I am sure there are more people who will post here but I wanted to take a moment to say I was right; this board was the perfect place to come for factual, unbiased information (without losing your own perspectives of course). I feel much better about this decision now that I have some facts to weigh.

I do have a couple more questions if you could help:

1. If any one of the many people to change my baby's diaper (in-laws, nurses, friends) doesn't listen and pulls the foreskin back anyways, will it heal?
2. Does the build up on the tip need to be gently cleaned away if its accessible without pulling the foreskin back?
3. As an adult, after intercourse, will he need to pull back the skin (if it will allow) to let the water rinse the female lubricant away or can it be caught under there without issue?

DH knows how I am to clean myself so I imagine he'll be able to explain to our son if he remains intact how to clean his penis. It sounds very much the same besides the questions I posted.

 

[Quirky]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darryen If any one of the many people to change my baby's diaper (in-laws, nurses, friends) doesn't listen and pulls the foreskin back anyways, will it heal? More than likely, but the best course of action is to tell anyone who might do a diaper change just to wipe the penis like a finger and not retract at all. There's simply no need for retraction. The sphincter at the end of the foreskin is like a one-way valve: it opens to let urine out but doesn't let poop in. Even a messy blowout diaper just requires a swish in the tub, no messing with the penis. Don't forget to tell them to check under the penis and scrotum as messies tend to accumulate there (yet no one would suggest castration to avoid cleaning poop out....) Does the build up on the tip need to be gently cleaned away if its accessible without pulling the foreskin back? You're not going to see buildup. Honestly. You won't see anything except the skin of the penis, really. It's not like adult secretions that you or your dh might produce. I have never once seen buildup on my son. Sometimes smegma pearls form in intact boys and work their way out all by themselves as part of the separation process withotu any help necessary but there's nothing that a swish in the tub wouldn't take care of. As an adult, after intercourse, will he need to pull back the skin (if it will allow) to let the water rinse the female lubricant away or can it be caught under there without issue? Washing after intercourse is a fine idea, but something he'll deal with himself. DH knows how I am to clean myself so I imagine he'll be able to explain to our son if he remains intact how to clean his penis. It sounds very much the same besides the questions I posted.

When he's young, you won't need to do anything other than wipe the outside of his penis as necessary. When he becomes retractable (any age between 2-ish and puberty or even beyond) all he needs to do is retract, rinse, and replace the foreskin.

The main thing is, no one should retract his foreskin except himself.

 

[BlessedMommy2006]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darryen Exactly. I couldn't put it any other way. I know its only been a day and I am sure there are more people who will post here but I wanted to take a moment to say I was right; this board was the perfect place to come for factual, unbiased information (without losing your own perspectives of course). I feel much better about this decision now that I have some facts to weigh. I do have a couple more questions if you could help: If any one of the many people to change my baby's diaper (in-laws, nurses, friends) doesn't listen and pulls the foreskin back anyways, will it heal? Does the build up on the tip need to be gently cleaned away if its accessible without pulling the foreskin back? As an adult, after intercourse, will he need to pull back the skin (if it will allow) to let the water rinse the female lubricant away or can it be caught under there without issue? DH knows how I am to clean myself so I imagine he'll be able to explain to our son if he remains intact how to clean his penis. It sounds very much the same besides the questions I posted.

So to answer your questions:
[*]If any one of the many people to change my baby's diaper (in-laws, nurses, friends) doesn't listen and pulls the foreskin back anyways, will it heal?

Yes, it will normally heal back to the glans if you leave it be.

[*]Does the build up on the tip need to be gently cleaned away if its accessible without pulling the foreskin back?

I have an intact son and I haven't really seen much in the way of "build-up" except maybe if a bit of my cornstarch based baby powder builds up or something. I've never seen any smegma on my intact son. It does not require any special cleaning. Just bathe and diaper him normally. The main thing is to "leave it alone." Nature build our bodies to not require intensive maintenance. Think about how difficult it would be for people in more primitive societies, if male genatalia required detailed cleaning!
[*]As an adult, after intercourse, will he need to pull back the skin (if it will allow) to let the water rinse the female lubricant away or can it be caught under there without issue?

I don't have an intact husband so I'll leave this question for those more knowledgeable!

As a female, you know that the labial folds need rinsing. I do this myself on a regular basis. However, when I got too aggressive with hygiene and tried to soap up really well and wash away all the smegma down there, I got rather sore and irritated. Once I left it alone and just rinsed with plain water and didn't try to scrub so hard, the irritation disappeared. Male genitals are similar. Easy does it!

 

[FernG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darryen If any one of the many people to change my baby's diaper (in-laws, nurses, friends) doesn't listen and pulls the foreskin back anyways, will it heal? Does the build up on the tip need to be gently cleaned away if its accessible without pulling the foreskin back? As an adult, after intercourse, will he need to pull back the skin (if it will allow) to let the water rinse the female lubricant away or can it be caught under there without issue?

1) There are a lot of threads on this board about babies who were forcibly retracted. One man's son did have what may be permanent damage when a surgeon retracted the boy during surgery for an unrelated issue. He's in the process of suing and has period updates. Most boys seem to heal fine. It seems to be the repeated retraction that causes the more permanent scarring.

Because the US medical community has giving the wrong info about foreskin care for generations, you do need to be careful. When you go to the doctor, you may need to tell your doctor, "Do not touch his penis. Ask me and I will move the penis for you." There are many threads on here about even intact-friendly doctors wanting to pull the foreskin back or telling parents that they will need to circumcise if the foreskin does not retract by an arbitrary deadline (2 years, 3 years, 6 years, etc).

2) You may need to tell anyone doing diaper changes to only clean the outside like a finger and to swish the penis in water if there is anything in the tip. When my daughter gets poop inside her labia, I squirt front to back with a peri bottle of water. If I tried to scrub out her labia, I would be likely to push the poop further up. It's the same with boys.

3) During arousal as an adult, the retractable foreskin will move back or the owner can push it back. A few boys will reach adulthood without retracting. After puberty, they can use steroid creams to get the foreskin to release. Before puberty, the steroid creams will not work permanently b/c the child won't have the hormones to keep the change permanent. Some men are not bothered with unretractable foreskins. It's really personal preference.

After the foreskin is retractable, you (or DH) can teach your son to pull the foreskin back and gently rinse with water in the shower which will wash away anything under there (eventually female lub, etc). Because his penis will be mucosal, he will have smegma just like a woman. He should know that the smegma is not dirty, is antimicrobial and protective, and should not be aggressively washed away. As has been previously mentioned, aggressive washing with soap can cause genital infection and irritation in men and women.

 

[Darryen]

Yeah I figured when he washes himself it will be a lot like when I wash myself. I only use non-soap "soap" (like Summer's Eve) and only rinse, no scrubbing. When he is old enough to take showers by himself his dad can explain how to do it and leave it up to him to decide what is comfortable. My mom never told me how to bathe myself and I got many a UTI in high school. My drs also never told me those were dangerous so not a one of them went treated and its by the grace of God I still have my kidneys to this day. We want to make sure our children aren't left in the dark about such important things like we were by our parents. My parents NEVER talked about sex or even how to take care of your own sex organs and it has caused me many problems as an adult. Its the reason I never even thought twice about circumcising our boys... it was never something I was allowed to speak of. I am very glad I thought about it before ours was born though. There is def. a lot to consider about this important decision.

Of course I will explain to everyone how to diaper him but I can name at least 3 who probably won't listen no matter how much I try to explain. I would just not let those people change him, but its his grandparents who I am guessing at some point they will end up changing him. I just want to make sure it won't require a visit to the Dr if someone does get too vigorous in cleaning him.

 

[BlessedMommy2006]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darryen Of course I will explain to everyone how to diaper him but I can name at least 3 who probably won't listen no matter how much I try to explain. I would just not let those people change him, but its his grandparents who I am guessing at some point they will end up changing him. I just want to make sure it won't require a visit to the Dr if someone does get too vigorous in cleaning him.

It's important to stress to grandparents that they can seriously harm and cause him pain if they don't follow your instructions exactly. And then if they don't agree to leave the foreskin alone, don't leave him with them until he's potty trained.

My MIL (who had her boys in the 70's and circumcised both her sons) thought that intact penises required retraction and cleaning. I'm assuming that was the recommendation back then. I reeducated her on it and made sure that she knew to follow my instructions.

You are the parent. People need to respect that.