[Kellym]

Has anyone had any male friends at any of their births? Here's my situation. When this baby is born, the *plan* is that it will be me, DH, our kids, 2 of my female friends and the midwife. I'm having the 2 friends there because both are hoping to some day have a HB and I want them to experience mine since my past births have all been incredibly simple and amazing. The one girl is married and my DH, her DH and I are also very good friends. Him and I have actually been friends longer than her and I have been. We can talk about anything...last night the conversation turned into how to please her better sexually and then later to homebirth and asking if he would check her cervix.

I *think* I'd be ok with him being at the birth. He's not 100% sure he wants to go the HB route with her, although he's coming around, and so for him to experience it first hand I think would help. I'm just wondering how awkward it would be after the fact. I have an ability in labor to tune into my body so much that I can tune out everyone else in the room and not know who is there so that won't bother me, it's just that after the fact moment that I'm wondering if it would be weird. If I did have him in there, he'd be behind me so he wouldn't get a full frontal view at all.

 

[heathenmom]

When we were expecting dd, dh & I were VERY close to another couple ... they were like family to us and we wanted them both at the birth. They were okay with it (she was excited, he was just okay with it

). Anyway, I didn't actually forget that he was there, but I was so focused on the birth that I didn't care. He was in charge of camera duty and got a lot of pictures (some that I wish didn't exist!). It didn't change anything between dh, me & him. She, on the other hand, was a dreadful, DREADFUL choice as labor support and I harbor a lot of resentment towards her to this day.

:

 

[Emilie]

i'm a private birther.... couldnt you just show him a video?

 

[ebony_vbac]

i'm an open non caring kind of person so i wouldnt care. i'd love to be on baby story or something so the whole world could see. i'd be saying all kinds of things that you never see on baby story so they would know itwas real

 

[rad]

We actualy have a very good male friend. He's wanted to be at our past 2 births, but was too busy and I went too quickly. But we've been talking about maybe asking him to come to this one more to watch our oldest DS (maybe even DD) during the labor and birth. That way if DS changes his mind about watching he has someone who can go into another room with him. But in some way I wonder if I'd be totally comfortable with him around.

 

[mom2five]

For my first home birth I invited my friend and neighbor to come over and she was wonderful. The baby's godfather was supposed to be there also but in the end I just wasn't comfortable with it and decided not to call him. He still "jokes" about not being invited but I just laugh it off... my birth, my body... sorry.

I think the video is a great idea! His wife will be so excited about it that she will make up for what the video might lack.... I hope that makes sense.

 

[laohaire]

As a woman, when I see a birth I don't see the woman the same as if I had seen her naked in any other situation. I mean, during birthing, it's like you're looking at an entirely different woman, and she's not naked, she's birthing.

I don't know if a man would be the same.

I realize you said he'd be behind you, but I think you asked this because even if he wasn't seeing "everything" he would be seeing something extremely intimate (heck, even just hearing you moan during contractions is something intimate, KWIM?).

On that last note, I did feel a little weird after the fact that my mom called everyone on earth during the labor and that everyone heard me (didn't bug me a bit at the time, I don't think I was even aware she was on the phone).

I don't know if that helps or not. I guess if what you're trying to do is give him an idea of the home birth experience, maybe let him come soon after the birth, and later give a lot of details about what it was like.

 

[Emilie]

YEs. I agree with PP. I had a new friend in the basement with my son. And it was a bit strange to me after the fact. WE are quite close now but it was something " special" that she was there.

You know your birth. I don't know. My husband would NEVER want to attend another woman's birth!LOL. I am lucky he comes to mine!
I would worry about his nervous energy?