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I guess I'll be the oddball and say that I don't think opposite-sex friendships are appropriate for people who are married. I don't think there is anything wrong with your husband not wanting you to have close male friends. Just my opinion, not putting anyone else down, you just asked for opinions.

 

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Originally Posted by shishkeberry Why not? Just curious.

DISCLAIMER: This is JUST my opinion. I certainly respect that most people who have been posting on this thread have a different opinion. No need to flame me. Thanks.

I don't see it as a trust issue; I see it as a respect issue. I see it as honoring the line the two of you have drawn around yourselves.

Falling in love isn't really magic--we TEND to fall in love with people we spend a lot of time with.

So, I just see spending time with an opposite sex friend as playing with fire. MOST people don't intend to cheat. "It just happens." But it doesn't really just happen--you've spent a lot of time with that person. I can't tell you how many threads I've read on this board and elsewhere that say, "Well, we were just friends, but now we're more than that......"

And perhaps people will get offended and say, "Of course I'd never have an affair with my opposite sex friend..." but that's what everybody says.

I just wanted to give the OP another perspective. OBVIOUSLY everyone has to work out what works best in their marriage. But your dh's feelings should be taken into account, as well.

 

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Originally Posted by Kirsten But this is not really a black and white thing. A new guy friend who you want to go out with weekly is different (IMO) than a high school guy friend that you go out to lunch with once a year. .

I do agree with that.

 

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Originally Posted by LizD Shunning "outside" friends will calcify, not preserve, your relationship, and his restrictions threaten your marriage more than any friendship you could have. Perhaps he can be made to see that.

This is not true for everyone.